just being me

What did you do when waiting got hard?

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Hi, I'm new at posting so I hope it works. I was wondering how you got through the hard times of waiting, I'm not religious and I'm waiting for personal reasons. Any tips? What did you do when it was hard to wait? How did you slow things down so that they never got too far?

Thank you so much I really appreciate it!

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Sometimes you just have to step back from the situtation. Go for a walk, to the gym, or take a cold shower. I know you said you are not religious, but I like to pray about it to.

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It wasn't hard for me to wait, so I'm not sure how much help I'll be. :)

 

I saved coitus for marriage, which is a different line than other waiters. I also waited for personal, not religious reasons.

 

It's important to know why you're waiting, which you probably do if your reasons are personal and not based in shame. It's easier to stay true to your convictions if they are genuine and your own.

 

Your question is a little vague, so I'm not sure if you're asking how do you wait in the heat of a sexy moment, or how do you wait in general when you're single and lonely. Or both, I guess.

 

Some people supposedly have no self-control, so they just resist all temptation. Most well-balanced adults, however, do have self-control and just make the conscious choice not to cross a line while with a significant other. If it's a new significant other, then you need to discuss your personal boundaries beforehand, so the other person knows not to cross them. Communication is very important, because you can't just expect a person you're kissing to know to keep hands above the neck or above the waist, or whatever your particular boundaries are.

 

In general, before I met my husband at 24, I liked being single. He was my first boyfriend. I didn't see the point of being in a relationship that didn't have long-term potential. I lived a full and busy life. I still do, of course, but now I have to consider another person before making even weekend plans, let alone huge life-altering plans. Enjoying everything life has to offer doesn't give you too much time to wallow in being single. That can make not just WTM, but waiting for the right relationship much easier.

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Thank you so much for the help. I'm talking about in the moment. I've discussed some boundaries with the person I'm dating and we both are waiting (we both made this decision before we met) I just don't want either of us to ever get carried away in the moment. I do have self control just was looking for tips to make it easier. Thanks!

And Iit hasn't gotten hard yet I just want to be prepared just incase it does. I believe strongly in waiting for marriage for some sexual things. I appreciate your time it's very helpful

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Thank you so much for the help. I'm talking about in the moment. I've discussed some boundaries with the person I'm dating and we both are waiting (we both made this decision before we met) I just don't want either of us to ever get carried away in the moment. I do have self control just was looking for tips to make it easier. Thanks!

And Iit hasn't gotten hard yet I just want to be prepared just incase it does. I believe strongly in waiting for marriage for some sexual things. I appreciate your time it's very helpful

 

Make sure you're both on the same page with your boundaries. Have regular chats when you're NOT in the moment to "check in" with each other and confirm that you both still know and agree to your boundaries.

 

When you're in the moment, and you start to feel tempted, just take a break! You can suggest cuddling for a few minutes to cool things down, or even completely pulling apart, maybe just holding hands. After a few minutes, you might decide it's best to end that make-out session for the day, or you might have pulled yourself together so you can spend more time kissing.

 

Hope that helps a bit more :)

 

Also we're all fairly candid and open on this site, but if you need to be really specific about sexy stuff, just post in the Viewer Discretion Advised thread. Also sometimes the replies in a particular regular thread will become a little much, and an Admin will move it to the VDA thread.

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The only thing I will say is that it only takes one time for you to go too far, and you're never able to undo it. 

 

The less you put yourself in a situation where you can get your engines revved up and go further than you want to go, the better odds you will not go beyond what you are comfortable with.

 

Thing is... in the heat of the moment when you're really horny, your mind can get clouded, and the earlier ideals you had can be swept to the wayside when your engines are in full throttle.

 

Now, it's true you could remove yourself from a really heated situation. But just as in the same way I'd tell an alcoholic not to frequent bars even though he or she could resist the temptation, I would suggest not putting yourself in a situation that makes it really difficult to say no. Because sooner or later, you might go further than you wanted to go, and this can't be undone.

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Thank you both. I really appreciate it. And belle femme I will make sure to check in regularly. That's a really good and helpful thing thanks

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My advice is to set boundaries that are further back than your limits.  For example, you may have a rule about not making out while lying down or a rule about not making out for long periods of time.  That way if you overstep a boundary it doesn't put you in a place where you have done things that you really, really did not want to do. 

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