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Kailey

Have you ever been fed up? ;)

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Just really fed up or even disgusted, so much so that you had to walk away for a while? For any reason at all, there are many reasons it could happen. And, do you think it's a bad thing, or just part of a normal relationship. Kind of felt that way about a family member recently and was wondering what if... Thanks :)


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hey Kailey!

definitely! When I have been in arguments which has come to the point where the other person is basically yelling at me, I have walked away. Let things cool down a bit and then came back and talk things through again. It works with some people. However, most people find it disrespectful to walk away and not listen to their side of the argument. I think its part of a normal relationship to get angry/upset at people over disagreements. The important thing is to clear it up and not let it fester for long. I'm quite non-confrontational and find it hard to stand there and complete the argument when I reach a certain threshold of being upset (and I sense the other person reaching that threshold too). But I think its a much healthier to actually not walk away and talk things out until you reach a compromise or a midpoint. I'm still working on it and I have gotten much better. Hope this helps :)  

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I think in any close, years-long relationship there will be conflict. I think too many people decide a relationship is over the second it hits a rough patch because we are so strongly fed this image of "happily ever after," when the truth is that people will continue to be flawed, and continue to have very different opinions about some things. However, I think if conflict is happening all the time, it is probably a sign of dysfunction. I probably only have a real ugly fight with my boyfriend about once a year or so.

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Thanks :)! I know there will always be conflict, but I was thinking more of an "I can't stand the sight of you right now and I must get away" feeling. I don't know, it just seems more understandable and okay for that kind of feeling to arise in a family relationship. It seems like it would be a really awful feeling to have with your spouse.

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Yeah, that's why I draw a distinction between disagreements, fighting, and ugly fights.  90% of the time my boyfriend and I are able to disagree or resolve conflict in a very level-headed way, but about once a year or so we do get into a fight that is bad enough that I feel the need to get away for a bit.

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Yes it does happen! It's like when you need a breather or just some personal space to re-coup. It's like when people can start to feel a little buggy when you just want some time alone to wind down and relax! :)

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hey Kailey!

definitely! When I have been in arguments which has come to the point where the other person is basically yelling at me, I have walked away. Let things cool down a bit and then came back and talk things through again. It works with some people. However, most people find it disrespectful to walk away and not listen to their side of the argument. I think its part of a normal relationship to get angry/upset at people over disagreements. The important thing is to clear it up and not let it fester for long. I'm quite non-confrontational and find it hard to stand there and complete the argument when I reach a certain threshold of being upset (and I sense the other person reaching that threshold too). But I think its a much healthier to actually not walk away and talk things out until you reach a compromise or a midpoint. I'm still working on it and I have gotten much better. Hope this helps :)

 

 

Omg nushi! Sounds like me spot on! I actually hate when my husband and I get into a heated debate and want to walk away but as you stated he finds it highly disrespectful and makes us talk it through. It's been a very hard challenge for me to accustom to and I try not to get resentful when I want my space and he wants us to talk it through. It is healthier to talk it through but I still don't like it cus I want the choice to cool off then come back and talk it over but he likes to talk it over right then and there.

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