Weapon X

What are some good flirting techniques or conversation starters?

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..... if I'm trying to get to know a cashier at my local Walmart lol. Seriously though, any advice ladies? She's cute and I go to Walmart often, I'm trying to standout from all the other customers. Need some magic words that will leave an impression, a good one.

I was thinking, "So do you like being a cashier?" , I got one chance ladies, give me all of the advice you can!

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First of all, the best thing you can do is to smile and speak to her with confidence. As far as what to say, I would actually say something like 'imagine seeing you here again!' - it shows that you've noticed her, and it's more relaxed than asking her how she likes her job. I hope this helps a little - I'd certainly make time to chat with a guy who approached me this way. :)

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UPDATE: Decided not to go to her lane. Need to empower myself with some more knowledge!

Goal 1: Have a successful conversation.

Goal 2: Get her number after getting to know each other.

Goal 3: Put a ring on it! Haha just kidding, heck being friends is fine with me. Whatever happens happens.

Chance of Success: 100%

I'm not going to let False Evidence Appearing Real (Fear) stop me from trying.

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Here's a thing I can think of that would seem natural:

  1. Make sure it's a slow day.
  2. Ask her if she knows a good place to eat. If you're not holding anyone up, ask what dish she recommends (or what she's tried). Then thank her and get out of there (if there's a good conversation going on, go with it. But I suggest that you initiate the end of the conversation).
  3. Follow up and actually go to that place and eat that thing. Take note of anything that can be additive to a conversation, like decor, service, food quality, waiting time, whatever.
  4. Next time you see her, say "Oh _____, I went to that place you told me about and had _____." or your version of that line. Discuss. And hopefully it's a good discussion.
  5. Mention any special activities you'll do over the weekend, if you have any (shopping, sports, whatever). You can leave a recommendation of your own if you find she hasn't done/visited any of your favorite places, or ask her for another one.
  6. Repeat #3-6

... I usually take the food route since everyone eats ^^; it's a safe bet.

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I know this is technically Ask The Girls, and they are welcome to critique what I suggest, but I'm going to put in 2c.

Showing an interest is good, esp. If you can figure out something safe to ask that she will be interested in responding to or talking about. Maybe if it's in the afternoon or later and she looks tired, show you are compassionate and ask if she's had a long shift/day; did she choose this role because she likes numbers and people; is she on summer vacation from school or university. Show her that you have the beginning of an interest in what happens in her world. And at the same time you'll learn a bit more about her thoughts and personality.

If she has an obvious but not too personal tattoo, comment on it or ask about it (you are in the South more or less, they're common down here). If you are buying ingredients for something new or unusual or special, comment on what you are trying to make; if e.g. you were or buy a gift or toy for a relative or friend or birthday party, casually mention that and what the occasion is, and that you hope it is a good choice. Give her a chance to get a glimpse into your world and give her the opportunity to give a little advice, and be prepared to consider it.

It's almost the Fourth... maybe a comment on your favorite fireworks, or where the best place is to get them, or to watch them.

Obviously, this all depends on personalities, but these are some ideas to help you find something that fits to get the communication going. I wouldn't try to do so all at once though, let time and the inevitable need to shop regularly work for you.

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I would avoid complimenting her physical appearance, but if she's done something to jazz up her work uniform, you could comment on that. When I worked in retail, I was skeeved out when guys told me I was pretty (it was always accompanied by an inappropriate look), but I LOVED when people, male or female, complimented my choice in clothes, especially if they happened to notice when I coordinated with the dorky work accessories.

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I would avoid complimenting her physical appearance, but if she's done something to jazz up her work uniform, you could comment on that. When I worked in retail, I was skeeved out when guys told me I was pretty (it was always accompanied by an inappropriate look), but I LOVED when people, male or female, complimented my choice in clothes, especially if they happened to notice when I coordinated with the dorky work accessories.

 

I think that's more of a matter of the manner in which they compliment, rather than the type of compliment. I (along with most girls I presume) like to receive compliments of any kind, appearance included, as long as it's not done in a creepy way.

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I think that's more of a matter of the manner in which they compliment, rather than the type of compliment. I (along with most girls I presume) like to receive compliments of any kind, appearance included, as long as it's not done in a creepy way.

 

I feel very uncomfortable when male strangers compliment my physical appearance, and most of my girlfriends feel the same. While certainly not all women react to compliments in the same way, Weapon X should err on the side of not offending a girl with whom he is trying to flirt.

 

I would also add that you can't tell by looking at a woman if she has a history with sexual harassment. While I was only sexually harassed a few times at work, it's happened to me enough times in public that my guard is automatically up when a male stranger compliments my appearance. It's worse when you're stuck in a clear power differential, such as being an hourly employee and thus not having the freedom to choose not to engage in conversation.

 

I think hanachu and ChristianMan72 both laid out very good and specific suggestions to follow, which will allow the cute cashier the freedom to flirt back or maintain polite conversation, however she feels comfortable.

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I would avoid saying anything too obviously flirtatious, as a cashier doesn't have the freedom to back out of a conversation with a customer. Plus, there's the obvious fact that you know when/where she works, which could feel a bit threatening. Keeping up friendly conversation is fine, though.

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Great advice all I'm going to have to take this all into consideration. I never thought of things like how she would know I know where she works everyday and how she's in a way obligated to speak to customers. Knowledge is power! 

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UPDATE: So I walk into the store and first cashier I see is her. She's right there, first register. I get all my stuff. I'm about to go to her line but notice a guy with lots of stuff and the register next to her's was empty so I knew the old lady would call the guy over so I didn't go right in. Eventually I get behind a woman.

Here's where everything goes DOWNHILL!

This woman has major issues paying for her stuff. An older employee comes to help the cute cashier and helps her complete the transaction. That's when the girl leaves and the other employee deals with me. :(

I could feel my heart thumping in my chest as I waited to be next. Only to be disappointed by some other woman getting the cute cashier out of there.

A sign of it not meant to be?

Maybe that wasn't the right time?

Or, maybe it was God's way of delaying it since she did seem to be having trouble with the lady who was having issues paying.

I guess I'll try next time. No asking for a number the first time. Just a friendly conversation, but one that is more than your typical convo with a cashier. Gotta say something she will remember.

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I would still try again next time! This is just a little bump in the road. It's way too early to know if "it's a sign." :)

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I would say be yourself. Trying to stick to a script might impress her, but she'll think that's the real you eventually she'll be more hurt when she realizes you're not the person she first met. You don't have to be your fully relaxed self like when you're with mates, but just try and enjoy talking to her.

*ps: I am rather androgynous in personality so I kind of feel like I can answer some lady questions... Though on second thoughts, maybe I'm not qualified lool*

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I've worked at walmart and its like working in small check out hell.

A joke and witty banter would do her some good.

Her soul needs to be reawaken.

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My advice is to not ask for her number the first time. Get to know her a few times first. Be friendly and ask her questions. Let her know that you're interested in her without coming on too strong early on. Make jokes and smile. If you chat with her enough times and get a nice friendly/flirty candor going on with her, she'll be way more likely and even excited to give you her number when you finally ask.

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Hey, WeaponX, I was a cashier for a long time, so I have a valuable perspective on what people have done and what did and didn't work!

Go through her lane on a regular basis (even if you don't say anything).  She sees SO MANY people every day (you are much more likely to remember her than she is to remember you).   

Be friendly (don't worry about flirting, worry about being a FRIEND).  "How are you today?"  "The weather is great!  Too bad you are in here!"  "I'm getting these ingredients because I'm going to cook speghetti for the first time.  Do you think I'll ruin it? haha"  Stuff like that (anything!)  BE SURE to always make some sort of statement such as these every time you pass her lane. 

Check her finger for a wedding ring first! 

"How will you win her over" is the wrong approach.  It's "what do you want to know about her".  Does she go to college, what kind of person is she, what is her personality, is she friendly (you'll know by how receptive she is to you).  When the conversations get longer, this is the kind of direction you will go.  And also (eventually but always be prepared), what is she doing after work because you just happen to be free for a walk in the park. ;)

Good luck!

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Hey, WeaponX, I was a cashier for a long time, so I have a valuable perspective on what people have done and what did and didn't work!

Go through her lane on a regular basis (even if you don't say anything).  She sees SO MANY people every day (you are much more likely to remember her than she is to remember you).   

Be friendly (don't worry about flirting, worry about being a FRIEND).  "How are you today?"  "The weather is great!  Too bad you are in here!"  "I'm getting these ingredients because I'm going to cook speghetti for the first time.  Do you think I'll ruin it? haha"  Stuff like that (anything!)  BE SURE to always make some sort of statement such as these every time you pass her lane. 

Check her finger for a wedding ring first! 

"How will you win her over" is the wrong approach.  It's "what do you want to know about her".  Does she go to college, what kind of person is she, what is her personality, is she friendly (you'll know by how receptive she is to you).  When the conversations get longer, this is the kind of direction you will go.  And also (eventually but always be prepared), what is she doing after work because you just happen to be free for a walk in the park. ;)

Good luck!

Yeah, pretend that you like her for her personality.  ;)

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Yeah, pretend that you like her for her personality. ;)

Yeah, as I looked at her it was her personality that caught my eye. Had nothing to do with her eyes or hair or the way she handled herself lol.

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I would say be yourself. Trying to stick to a script might impress her, but she'll think that's the real you eventually she'll be more hurt when she realizes you're not the person she first met. You don't have to be your fully relaxed self like when you're with mates, but just try and enjoy talking to her.

*ps: I am rather androgynous in personality so I kind of feel like I can answer some lady questions... Though on second thoughts, maybe I'm not qualified lool*

I absolutely agree with him, the important thing is being yourself, we can see when someone is trying to impress us, and its not cool, I think its really nice to read this kind of things, because sometimes I think, what the hell was he thinking when he say that, and sometimes I realize that he was trying to be brave or something like that. Dont think so much about what to say! just smile at her and tell her nice smile and leave, don't ask her the number, she is gonna feel good that you told her that.

 

Then another time, you say hi again and smile, she is gonna start the conversation. talking to a girl is not a exam, she is a person like you! 

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Okay so I'm in almost the exact situation. Accept she works at the deli of a small grocery store. I've been talking to her for almost a month now. I think she is starting to recognize me. Yesterday she was on break in the sitting area of the deli when she saw me she smiled at almost the exact same time I did. ANYWAYS I was thinking of asking something to the effect of "Hey I just moved here and I was wondering if there are any good churches here" I did just move here. And I would learn if she has similar beliefs as me. But I'm nervous its too personal a question. A stranger asking where she attends church.

So what would any of you ladies think if a guy you bairly knew asked where you attended church? (If you don't that's fine too you're input is valued too)

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Okay so I'm in almost the exact situation. Accept she works at the deli of a small grocery store. I've been talking to her for almost a month now. I think she is starting to recognize me. Yesterday she was on break in the sitting area of the deli when she saw me she smiled at almost the exact same time I did. ANYWAYS I was thinking of asking something to the effect of "Hey I just moved here and I was wondering if there are any good churches here" I did just move here. And I would learn if she has similar beliefs as me. But I'm nervous its too personal a question. A stranger asking where she attends church.

So what would any of you ladies think if a guy you bairly knew asked where you attended church? (If you don't that's fine too you're input is valued too)

Asking her if she knew of any good churches, rather than frankly saying "What church do you go to?" would be better so she still has the option of not telling you her own or just leaving out that she does go to a particular one that she mentioned. She may not express her beliefs in that case but it's better to not look like a creeper so soon and it may open up a doorway, so its worth a try. :)

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I'd also acknowledge that it is a personal question, and that she's free not to answer if she chooses. Then I don't think it'd be too weird (but then, I come from the South, so churches are kind of a common conversational topic).

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