Cora Jay

Are you worth it?

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I know everyone is looking for love but, do you believe you deserve the best of love?

What do you have that no one else does?

 

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I hope she believes I'm worth it.

I have a lot to improve, but who doesn't? All I can say is that I'd never abandon someone or quit on them.

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This is going to be a pretty real and revealing post about myself, but here goes...

 

This is something I think about a lot. As an educated man with a good job, a decent physical figure, and what I consider to be high ethical standards...I feel like I deserve to have that someone, yes. And because I feel this way...frustration has, at times, taken over my life. It's even spilled into my posts on here a few times, as I'm sure people have noticed lol.

 

It's just not that easy though. It took me a long time to realize (and I still need reminders, obviously) that we're all on our own schedules in life, and there isn't really a rhyme or reason to anything most of the time. Sometimes it really does come down to blind luck, or fate, if you wish to call it that. All you can do is wait, and have faith (if that's your kind of thing).

 

I'm going to be honest again...it sometimes bothers me when I see a guy who might be a bit repulsive physically, or doesn't have a job, or is a huge jerk, or what have you...together with a decent woman. Of course most of the time we don't know the whole story, but sometimes I just ask myself "WTH?" God tell us not to envy others, but when it comes to something you desire so badly, it can be a constant struggle.

 

It is only human to question why things are the way they are. It's important not to drive ourselves nuts over these kinds of things though, since we can only control so much.

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I'm going to be honest again...it sometimes bothers me when I see a guy who might be a bit repulsive physically, or doesn't have a job, or is a huge jerk, or what have you...together with a decent woman. Of course most of the time we don't know the whole story, but sometimes I just ask myself "WTH?" God tell us not to envy others, but when it comes to something you desire so badly, it can be a constant struggle.

 

THIS x 100! It drives me crazy! There are a couple of girls I know who were party animals, slept with every guy that offered and cheated in previous relationships, and yet they've managed to find husbands. SMH, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, lol! 

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I'm hoping someone would recognize that wee bit of uniqueness in me (ok, you can call it weirdness if you want to :)).

“We're all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.†― Dr Seuss
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So I'll just say that no, I don't currently feel that I deserve the kind of love I want. There are some factors that I can affect to turn that around pretty quickly and there are some factors that I feel hopeless about or will only change with luck. My mind is not in a great place right now, and I'm pretty anxious about the immediate future. Not sure where to place my next step, etc. But that's another story..

 

What do I have that no one else does? Well nothing, I reckon, but I like to think that I'm made up of a particular combination of things that make me me, that makes me unique in a way that resonates with at least one girl.

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Ok, so I'll answer this seriously now. 

 

I think I am worth it. Not to sound too confident because I know I am a flawed human being. I will drive my husband crazy at times and he'll probably wish that I would just go away some days. lol 

 

But I have worked on myself for a while now. I have discovered things that I did that were hurtful to others or were immature or just not the way I wanted to be. I did these things mostly for myself so I could say I am a better person than I was. After all, I believe life is about making yourself better. But along the way, these things have also made me a better potential spouse. 

 

I am quite quirky and I will be entertaining to my husband who will hopefully find it enduring and not annoying (or else he isn't right for me) but most of all I will not give up easily on my marriage, I will be loyal and true and I will hold on until the end. I have a fierce love that is just waiting for the right guy. 

 

So, I may not be perfect, I may have much more room to grow but I am worth it. It took me a long time to discover that for myself and to love myself and I will spend the rest of my life showing him that I am worth it because he will be worth it for me. 

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So, I have a slightly different "take" on this but I hope everyone hears me out at least.

 

I think there's actually a slight difference, in this context at least, between "worth" and "deserve". Am I worth it? Yes, I think so. And so are many, if not all, of the people on this site. I see beautiful people here, outside and inside, who have a lot to offer and who are very much worthy of the truest love that's out there. I'm in my late 20's, and while I'm still a work in progress, I've come such a long way. I have 10x more to offer a potential spouse than I did when I was younger. I say that humbly and with much gratitude to God.

 

Here's the part that "stings" a bit. When it comes to "deserve", I'll only speak for myself, but I don't think I deserve anything. The girl that would rather date the jerk with 5 baby mommas, she doesn't owe me anything. Same goes for the girl that wants a football player, or any other girl out there. If only we lived in a world where the nice good guy always got the girl, and the good girl always got the guy, and everybody did the "right" thing. We don't, but that's okay.  

 

I guess Prince Amukamara's wedding pic/quote sums it up for me  https://twitter.com/PrinceAmukamara/status/447072717569654785

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Such an awesome post, Olivier. Your second paragraph really opened my eyes a bit.

 

Also, quite fitting that you ended the post with a picture from a fellow waiter's wedding.  :)

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At this point in my life, I don't think I am, although I'll argue constantly in my mind that I deserve it....

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It's just not that easy though. It took me a long time to realize (and I still need reminders, obviously) that we're all on our own schedules in life, and there isn't really a rhyme or reason to anything most of the time. Sometimes it really does come down to blind luck, or fate, if you wish to call it that. All you can do is wait, and have faith (if that's your kind of thing).

 

I'm going to be honest again...it sometimes bothers me when I see a guy who might be a bit repulsive physically, or doesn't have a job, or is a huge jerk, or what have you...together with a decent woman. Of course most of the time we don't know the whole story, but sometimes I just ask myself "WTH?" God tell us not to envy others, but when it comes to something you desire so badly, it can be a constant struggle.

 

It is only human to question why things are the way they are. It's important not to drive ourselves nuts over these kinds of things though, since we can only control so much.

 

I used to have a big problem with jealousy for the very reasons you mention. I feel like I've gotten over that in the last few years, though, and it no longer bothers me when I see someone is "engaged" or "in a relationship," but it often did at one time. I don't know what changed in my heart exactly, but I do believe that God convicted me of my sin in that area, and I also realized that being jealous simply didn't do me any good. It just made me hurt for no reason. However, now, I can be happy for people knowing that when they form relationships and get married that that's supposed to happen. It's the natural order of things, and I believe it will happen for me eventually, too one day.

 

On the bright side, think of it as a positive when you see a decent woman with one of the types of guys you mentioned. It means the odds are likely even better for you to get a decent woman (or maybe a great one).  ;)

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Am I worth it?

HECK YES I'M WORTH EVERY BIT! Honey I'm worth more than rubies, silver, and gold sold together or separately (all women are)!

What do I have most women dont?

*Christ at the center of my life*

1.The yearning to want to serve my husband

2. The ability to cook, clean, and stay up with a sick man or child.

3. The love no other woman could and will give him like I can and will.

4. The support all women are supposed to give their husbands so they can continue to be the head of their homes.

5. Traditional old school and biblical values that most women have no clue that men need.

6. My purity as a virgin woman.

7. So much more.

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Am I worth it?

HECK YES I'M WORTH EVERY BIT! Honey I'm worth more than rubies, silver, and gold sold together or separately (all women are)!

What do I have most women dont?

*Christ at the center of my life*

1.The yearning to want to serve my husband

2. The ability to cook, clean, and stay up with a sick man or child.

3. The love no other woman could and will give him like I can and will.

4. The support all women are supposed to give their husbands so they can continue to be the head of their homes.

5. Traditional old school and biblical values that most women have no clue that men need.

6. My purity as a virgin woman.

7. So much more.

I wish there were more people like you around here. :)

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I wish there were more people like you around here. :)

Awe! That means a lot! Thank you! :D

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I struggle with my confidence sometimes, like most girls do, and it's mostly to do with how I've put on seven pounds in six months or something equally ridiculous. But I've never doubted my self-worth. I know that I'm deserving of the love I want. I've had a few guys seriously interested in me over the past year, and they've said things about how I'm a catch, how they wish they'd met me if they were older (this particular guy was moving far away for law school), and other statements similar. It's nice to hear. I don't want to walk around thinking I'm one thing when I'm actually another.

 

Anyways, I don't want to list out my favourite traits because I'm sure they're similar to many others on this site, but what it boils down to is that I'm committed and faithful, and I value love and intimacy. (I can cook, too.)

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I know everyone is looking for love but, do you believe you deserve the best of love?

What do you have that no one else does?

 

I have no idea if I'm worth it.

 

I only have myself to give. All of my heart, my mind, my body, my life, my love.

 

Hopefully, that'll be enough.

 

xxx

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I have no idea if I'm worth it.

 

I only have myself to give. All of my heart, my mind, my body, my life, my love.

 

Hopefully, that'll be enough.

 

xxx

 

You are more than worth it :) If that is not enough for him, then he is not worth it.

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Do think I am worthy? Yes. Do I believe the men that I tend to want and am interested in think I am worthy... not over all, maybe a few. I believe we are all attracted to different styles, looks, personality, etc, and that there IS someone out there. However, sometimes we just don't fit as much of a mold that they might be looking for. Like, I am interested in not only an intelligent man, with sarcastic humor, loving and caring side who are family oriented, who might enjoy the sub-culture of steampunk, or horror flicks as well as a good comedy. I'm just as aware of what initially gets my attention, the physical attraction. I tend to be drawn in by the taller (or at least taller than me, which is the easy part), slender/slim or slightly built athletically, men. I want to be more active, so that's something I usually look at, but my health issues tend to slow me down and I think that (on top of being a virgin and waiting until marriage) a lot of them are also turned off by the fact that I'm not as active as them, that I'm a bit of a homebody and may not be able to keep up with their active lifestyles all of the time. Or, maybe that it's that I'm not working at an actual job right now. I guess what I am getting at is that I DO feel that I am worthy, but I need to find the man who sees that the same way as I do, who is also attracted to me (because I want him to be able to make me believe he thinks I am beautiful inside and out... and, yes, I'm aware of how that might sound).

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I believe I'm unworthy of love. I'm a college student, live with my parents and don't make enough money to support myself let alone a family. I am as unworthy as it gets. I finish school in December. So hopefully next year the money will come and I can have the ability to move out if I want (I'll live with my parents to save money but will move out if I fall in love). I'm just very unqualified to be a suitable partner at the moment for financial reasons.

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I believe I'm unworthy of love. I'm a college student, live with my parents and don't make enough money to support myself let alone a family. I am as unworthy as it gets. I finish school in December. So hopefully next year the money will come and I can have the ability to move out if I want (I'll live with my parents to save money but will move out if I fall in love). I'm just very unqualified to be a suitable partner at the moment for financial reasons.

This made me feel sad.  :( That doesn't mean you're unworthy of love. That just means that you aren't financially ready for some things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be loved. It doesn't make you a bad person or unworthy if you are short on money. Yes, we need money to survive and to go out on dates with a potential new partner, but lack of money doesn't make someone unworthy. I think this highlights a materialistic problem in our society that we equate human worth with material things. Also, the fact that you are a student and are taking strides to improve your situation is admirable. Everyone accomplishes things at their own pace. 

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I believe I'm unworthy of love. I'm a college student, live with my parents and don't make enough money to support myself let alone a family. I am as unworthy as it gets. I finish school in December. So hopefully next year the money will come and I can have the ability to move out if I want (I'll live with my parents to save money but will move out if I fall in love). I'm just very unqualified to be a suitable partner at the moment for financial reasons.

 

I know exactly how you feel, man. I'm 30 and recently lost my job and am still at home but I'm back in school for a career change. Even so, I feel like no girl would even consider dating me in this situation until I start making money and have a house. Sometimes it's hard dealing with society's expectation that guys have to have all our ducks in a row financially before we're worth marrying or even dating. I know that most women want financial stability in a guy, but I would hope that my working hard towards bettering myself would be enough for her. But sometimes it feels like that is too much to hope for.

 

 

This made me feel sad.  :( That doesn't mean you're unworthy of love. That just means that you aren't financially ready for some things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be loved. It doesn't make you a bad person or unworthy if you are short on money. Yes, we need money to survive and to go out on dates with a potential new partner, but lack of money doesn't make someone unworthy. I think this highlights a materialistic problem in our society that we equate human worth with material things. Also, the fact that you are a student and are taking strides to improve your situation is admirable. Everyone accomplishes things at their own pace. 

 

Yeah it's so true how wrong it is to put a price tag on a human being's worth. But thank you for reminding us that there are lots of girls out there who think like you :)

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I know exactly how you feel, man. I'm 30 and recently lost my job and am still at home but I'm back in school for a career change. Even so, I feel like no girl would even consider dating me in this situation until I start making money and have a house. Sometimes it's hard dealing with society's expectation that guys have to have all our ducks in a row financially before we're worth marrying or even dating. I know that most women want financial stability in a guy, but I would hope that my working hard towards bettering myself would be enough for her. But sometimes it feels like that is too much to hope for.

 

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I've struggled with this one a LOT, honestly it's the one hesitation that I've had in regards to dating. I graduated from college 2 years ago and I have a steady job, but I also live with my parents. I'm paying student loans off and the cost of living in my area is sky high! At this point I think there's something to be said about a couple that's willing to endure the growing financial pains of starting a career together. Society has us jumping through all these hoops before we're "ready for marriage", but I don't believe that it's supposed to be this way, especially since true 'stability' may not come for some folks until their early 30's. This is especially hard for waiters, as we're holding ourselves off while our hormones have been ready to go for years lol.

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