Bluey

Is "Submissiveness" a Turn-on?

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I've heard it said a lot that men want a "submissive" woman. What does this mean to you, and is it true?

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I personally find a woman who takes control to be just as much of a turn-on as a woman who is submissive. Apathy is what bothers me more than anything.

 

Ideally, I'd like my spouse to be able to take control from time to time but on the flip side, perhaps become a little submissive when I need to feel masculine lol.

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Submissive to me means she'll make me a sandwich whenever I ask. I'm kidding, that joke is getting old :P

 

to be honest, a little submissiveness is a turn on for me. Never in a domineering way of course, but in a way that allows me to lead. I feel a natural inclination to lead and I would feel honored that a girl would trust me enough to allow me to lead her.

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This is going to sound really kind of weird, but part of me wonders if it might be a sex thing?

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Submissiveness is a 100% turn off. I don't want a woman who's always bowing down to you, or doing whatever you say simply because you say it.

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Submissive to me means she'll make me a sandwich whenever I ask. I'm kidding, that joke is getting old :P

 

to be honest, a little submissiveness is a turn on for me. Never in a domineering way of course, but in a way that allows me to lead. I feel a natural inclination to lead and I would feel honored that a girl would trust me enough to allow me to lead her.

And the jokes go on...lol. It never gets old... at least to me hehe.

 

I'm also similar in the sense that I do like to lead. A little submissiveness is also a turn on for me too.

 

This is going to sound really kind of weird, but part of me wonders if it might be a sex thing?

I can definitely see from your perspective. Making sandwiches can be sexy, :) . 
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Submissive to me means she'll make me a sandwich whenever I ask. I'm kidding, that joke is getting old :P

 

It's Absolutely getting old! :P

 

kitchen-jokes.jpg

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It's Absolutely getting old! :P

 

kitchen-jokes.jpg

I cracked up so hard when i saw this pic. I never really understood the whole sandwich thing.

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kitchen-jokes.jpg

 

 

She doesn't have to make them in the kitchen, she can make them in the laundry room too. HAHA!!! Okay that was misogynistic and I'm going to be struck by lightning :D

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I often pray on this subject quite a bit as I want to become a man who is in God's image. I'm confident in my role as a leader and head of the household and wouldn't waste time with a woman who had an issue with it. The Bible is very clear on the issue and demands submissiveness from wives multiple times; 1 Timothy 2:12, 3:1-7, 1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:21-33.

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Submissiveness is a 100% turn off. I don't want a woman who's always bowing down to you, or doing whatever you say simply because you say it.

That there's a right severe definition a the word.

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Let me consult my list of turn-ons.

...

Ah yes. Right here on page 147 is submissiveness, labeled as "with conditions."

More than anything I just want a laid back partner. I think we both should be submissive or assertive as circumstances or our respective strengths and weaknesses dictate.

I think that when most men say they want a submissive wife, they just mean a wife that won't nag them about every mistake or decision she doesn't agree with, and one who will concede from time to time in disagreement.

As far as the bedroom goes, submissiveness can be hot, but so can dominance and everything in between. We guys aren't always in the same mood or gear sexually.

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I do think submissiveness is a turn-on.

 

But in regards to the bedroom, I don't know...and I probably won't know until I've had sex, lol.

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These have been some really interesting answers.
 

Just F.Y.I, you don't want me making your sandwich. Like, I could make you one, but you'd absolutely hate it.

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Just F.Y.I, you don't want me making your sandwich. Like, I could make you one, but you'd absolutely hate it.

Its alright. Its the principle that counts :D

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Just F.Y.I, you don't want me making your sandwich. Like, I could make you one, but you'd absolutely hate it.

 

I think what she's trying to say is... she could make you a sandwich, but it would have poison in it and you'd die...

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I think what she's trying to say is... she could make you a sandwich, but it would have poison in it and you'd die...

I really have no idea how to make them. I'm just like Miss Accidents-Face! :unsure:

Vince, no more likes for you. It's one apiece. :P

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Vince, no more likes for you. It's one apiece. :P

First you deprive me of sandwiches, now youre withholding likes from me? What kind of woman are you? :P

I think what she's trying to say is... she could make you a sandwich, but it would have poison in it and you'd die...

Well a mark of a true man is one who is willing to die for his principles :D

I swear, I'm going to be banned one day. Lol

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Something like this is acceptable for most men, right?:

 

Nasty-krabby-patty.jpg

Yeea, samdwick. Men is eat they.

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For me, it's a turnoff. I need to be challenged to be interested, and a submissive woman just can't do that in the particular way I need.

That being said, a submissive woman isn't a dealbreaker. It's just my strong preference that she is not.

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I would rather have someone who had my back & give me support than a "Yes" woman.

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I'd rather not have a "submissive" woman; I need at least some pushback from anyone I socialize with in order to have a friendship, let alone a relationship.  Does that mean I want someone who pushes me around?  Definitely not, but I do want a woman who's supportive and affirming.  Basically, an anchor for my idealistic personality.  :P

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I would rather have someone who had my back & give me support than a "Yes" woman.

 

That's part of what the Bible says, in fact.

 

I'm not sure I understand what people have in mind when they talk about a "submissive" woman in the secular sense. I have some understanding of the Biblical meaning of "submit" which is different from the secular meaning. The Bible didn't have the word "submit" because it was written in ancient foreign languages.
 
My understanding of what the Bible means when it says a husband should be "head" of the wife, could maybe be explained by an example.
 
Say that 2,000 years ago in Rome, a family is at home, a husband, a wife, and a baby. Somebody bangs loudly on the door, early in the morning. The family doesn't know who it could be--maybe one of emperor Nero's soldiers looking for Christians to exterminate, or a beggar, or a false prophet, or a neighbor in need, or a wounded Christian seeking refuge. 
 
Who should go and answer the door? 
 
The Bible would place the husband as "head" so he'd be the one to handle the dangerous and riskiest parts of dealing with the world. That gives his wife some protection from physical harm and stress, because her health is important for survival of the kids (maybe she's nursing, or pregnant). 
 
The wife would be getting news and instructions from her husband on what to do, because he'd be on the front lines. The Bible also says if is a husband isn't following God, a wife should win him over through conversation. So she'd definitely be forming opinions and talking to him intelligently. Women who speak wisdom are reverenced.
 
The world in Biblical times was brutal, violent, dangerous, lawless, and very physical. I think many people today read some of these verses and scratch their heads, saying "what does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?" Many live in a cushy, padded world of ergonomic chairs where there's not much physical danger to them, and things are pretty peaceful. So when they look for an example of being "head" and "follower" they might think "well, when I go to a restaurant the waiter submits to my orders."
 
It's not really about who makes who a sandwich. It's not saying a wife should be a wet noodle or a complete sponge in a conversation. The Bible is speaking on a rudimentary biological, survival, and spiritual level.
 
I think a takeaway for modern reads might be that, if a woman marries, she should marry a guy whom, if he's ever compelled to take the lead, she likes the way he handles things, she benefits, and she trusts him. That way he's an asset to her.
 
The Bible also says "let each his own wife so love as himself, and the wife -- that she may reverence the husband." So it's asking husbands to love their wives like their own bodies and act worthy of reverence, not to be some macho bossy dude who always wants his way.
 
And I think most guys do want a wife who would talk things through with him, and have his back, if he made a mistake. That's what the Bible also says, "that even if certain [husbands] are disobedient to the word [of God], through the conversation of the wives, without the word, they may be won, having beheld your pure behaviour..."
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I like things being equal... I'm a real softie but I still don't like being pushed around myself. And I like seeing girls in their element, I wouldn't want them to be making way for me and catering to me unless I was able to also cater to them. We could make time for each other and if we're being submissive, I would prefer if we were submissive to eachother. But personally I prefer decision-makers! >: D and I would prefer someone who doesn't think exactly the same as me and voices their opinions. 

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