Cora Jay

Saving your first kiss too?

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The thing that started freaking me out is the whole Herpes 1 thing. *shivers*

Do you mean cold sores?  That *is* a type of herpes, but it's not necessarily spread by kissing someone on the lips.  Plenty of people get them before their first kiss (I think I did), and they're just uncomfortable sores that go away after a few days or a week.  They usually flare up when you're under stress or if you're sick, but they're not life-threatening or even that harmful. 

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Do you mean cold sores?  That *is* a type of herpes, but it's not necessarily spread by kissing someone on the lips.  Plenty of people get them before their first kiss (I think I did), and they're just uncomfortable sores that go away after a few days or a week.  They usually flare up when you're under stress or if you're sick, but they're not life-threatening or even that harmful. 

 

Yeah, most people get them in early childhood, way before they've ever kissed. I think like 90%+ of the adult population tests positive for HSV1. If Vince has ever shared a drink with someone else he probably has it as well.  :lol:

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Honestly, if you feel like that would be the best thing for you to do, then go for it! I believe that one should know how to kiss though.lol That's just me though :P 

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I got the cold sore virus when I was like 10 or maybe younger, almost a decade before my first kiss, most likely from sharing a drink with a family member. It annoys me that they weren't more careful, but it is what it is. Over the years I've learned to recognize the signs of an outbreak and can usually knock it out with topical medication before it gets bad. Haven't had a bad breakout in years. Usually it's just a day or two from when I notice it coming to it being completely gone again, and that usually happens like once a year.




So, like, yeah, if any of you girls wants to make out, hit me up.

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Maybe that was an insensitive thing of me to say. Sorry guys. But in any case....I think kissing shouldn't be taken so lightly would have been a better thing to say. If a kiss can connect you to someone then it should at least involve getting to know someone. I hate kissing someone and not really knowing someone. It's so foreign and devoid of any real feeling.

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Ugh, does this include kisses for a Platonic love? Like, on cheeks and forehead?

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Ugh, does this include kisses for a Platonic love? Like, on cheeks and forehead?

I'd be down for that. Definitely. Kisses on the hand FO SHOOOOOO!

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I'd be down for that. Definitely. Kisses on the hand FO SHOOOOOO!

Wow! I have always wanted to kiss a close friend, who is kind of older than me, on her forehead, head and cheeks, devoid of any sexual thoughts. Oh, yes, and her hand :P . She helped me a lot to get through many things.

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Saving my first kiss is a great idea after all these years. I am sure that he will appreciate that I waited for him and vice versa.

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The thing that started freaking me out is the whole Herpes 1 thing. *shivers*

 

Wow.  Herpes Type 1 remains rather asymptomatic under everyday conditions and good health.  You can get this from your parents for cryin' out loud.  As long as you brush your teeth and remain in good health, you may never get a "kanka sore" (the flareup of Herpes Type 1 in the mouth).  You will probably get Herpes Type 1 from a husband who has waited for sex, just sayin'.  It is ubiquitous; hell, you may already have it and not even know it...

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Since I am a believer, my reasons for waiting are chiefly to become God's best for my mate and to wait for God's best for me. Because I will care about that person, I wouldn't want to be a stumbling to the man I care for, as he will be a brother in the lord as well. Kissing is a form of foreplay, and is meant to inspire desire. I would truly never want to stir up desires in a man that couldn't be righteously fulfilled. If I cared about someone, I wouldn't want to make waiting anymore difficult for them. The same for me too, since all kissing would do is make me want to be even "closer" to the person I'm already attracted to. Mightn't that kind of off/on action cause us to both to be a little resentful? My opinion, but thanks for a great post  ^_^

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You mean "canker sore" ;) Indeed it is very common in children and adults.

There's an OTC called Kanka is why he probably called it that.

Normally I wouldn't care but it's 3 am. In bed on phone and sleep is being elusive.

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Alas,so happy to find this post, am 26 years old female waiter, who is also saving her first kiss. Reason that kissing for me is also a very intimate act. In courtship. I don't mind a peck though

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I've never kissed anyone in all my 30 years and counting so far. I often times crave the moment when I can finally have my first kiss. At the same time, I can't miss what I never had. The idea of saving my first kiss till marriage does have it's appeal in my mind. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a hopeless romantic, but a first kiss is something very special to me. Since I've gone this long without kissing, I would be giving not just my virginity to my future wife, but my first kiss as well. I've made it this far already, I might as well go all in. lol

 

I'm not against the idea of kissing before marriage, but I do prefer that I didn't. Part of it is that I am so easily turned on that I'm afraid kissing might be too sexual for me. I won't know for sure unless I try it, but then that would defeat the whole purpose because I can't take it back.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I prefer saving my first kiss, but I'd also be okay if I didn't depending on the girl. But she wanted to kiss before marriage, I'd have to set certain boundaries like only quick kisses and we can't be alone.

 

31 years old and still never been kissed, and boy do I appreciate + understand what you're saying. It is difficult but at the same time, you can only have your first time once and who better than with your one and only spouse!!! I'd also be happy and consider the idea of having that first kiss happen at the proposal as well. 

 

Very encouraged to find this post overall. 

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31 years old and still never been kissed, and boy do I appreciate + understand what you're saying. It is difficult but at the same time, you can only have your first time once and who better than with your one and only spouse!!! I'd also be happy and consider the idea of having that first kiss happen at the proposal as well. 

 

Very encouraged to find this post overall. 

 

I'm glad you know where I'm coming from :) Most people may think it's silly to put so much stock in a first kiss since most people already had it at a really young age. Then again, most people think saving sex for marriage is stupid too. It's sad that nothing is sacred anymore to most people. They give so much of themselves to past partners who won't even commit. So by the time they marry, there isn't anything exclusive to give their spouse that they haven't given to many others already. With that in mind, sometimes it feels daunting knowing that at our age, the chances of ending up with a virgin is razor thin, let alone someone who saved their first kiss. It doesn't seem like a fair trade that we've saved everything for the other yet they can't give the same in return.

 

It can be easy to think selfishly like that and to feel jaded the older we get. But at least in my case, I remind myself that I'm ultimately saving as much of myself as I can for my future wife as an act of love and commitment to her and to God. As long as she truly appreciates it, then it would have made it all worth it, even if she can't give me the same.

 

Keep your chin up and have faith. There are guys out there who will appreciate what you're doing. That I promise you :)

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This is a scripture that guides me in this matter: 1 Timothy 5:1-2, Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

Notice that- "with all purity". I feel that kissing someone that I am not married to would be less than pure. I have something of a rule for myself when dealing with the opposite gender: If I were to feel uncomfortable or awkward interacting with a girl in a certain manner in front of her father/mother/grandparent etc. than that is a clear indicator that I would be doing something less than pure. Remember, that other person may be someone's spouse (maybe your's, maybe not). Treat them in the way you would want someone to treat your future other. 

 

I think that saving your first kiss for your spouse also shows that you have a high degree of conviction and self control and that should be comforting to your spouse (and their family). Other posters have pointed out the very real and sobering risk of STD's from kissing.  Remember, there is no cure for herpes. One kiss is certainly not worth an incurable disease. How would you like to pass that on to your future spouse?

 

Please keep your boundaries strong and your standards high.

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In my opinion, I think it is good to wait. I'm not going to kiss someone I don't know. Nor someone I might like. Not even someone I like but don't necessarily love. But once properly engaged, I think a brief hello/goodbye kiss from time to time ought to be OK, just not the whole passionate kissing thing.

And both herpes and HIV can be transmitted through passionate kissing.

As the person mentioned below I am a pharmacist and I can tell you that is close to impossible to catch HIV via kissing this can ONLY occur if the person has open wounds and if they have a high viral load other than this it cannot occur

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I have never kissed anyone. I'd rather die if I kiss someone who is not my husband.

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Kinda tbh. I just joined the site for the dating advice, but idk if it is religion affiliated, (I'm not religous), so in regards to that idk, but in my personal opinion don't worry about it. I don't think there are many guys with the same mindset, so they likely wouldn't care. If you believe in waiting on kissing, good for you, if you don't, also good for you.

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On 10/18/2015 at 0:14 PM, huntrees007 said:

Since I am a believer, my reasons for waiting are chiefly to become God's best for my mate and to wait for God's best for me. Because I will care about that person, I wouldn't want to be a stumbling to the man I care for, as he will be a brother in the lord as well. Kissing is a form of foreplay, and is meant to inspire desire. I would truly never want to stir up desires in a man that couldn't be righteously fulfilled. If I cared about someone, I wouldn't want to make waiting anymore difficult for them. The same for me too, since all kissing would do is make me want to be even "closer" to the person I'm already attracted to. Mightn't that kind of off/on action cause us to both to be a little resentful? My opinion, but thanks for a great post  ^_^

Lmao I guess I'm a heathen 

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On 2/16/2016 at 5:32 AM, Invincible said:

 

I'm glad you know where I'm coming from :) Most people may think it's silly to put so much stock in a first kiss since most people already had it at a really young age. Then again, most people think saving sex for marriage is stupid too. It's sad that nothing is sacred anymore to most people. They give so much of themselves to past partners who won't even commit. So by the time they marry, there isn't anything exclusive to give their spouse that they haven't given to many others already. With that in mind, sometimes it feels daunting knowing that at our age, the chances of ending up with a virgin is razor thin, let alone someone who saved their first kiss. It doesn't seem like a fair trade that we've saved everything for the other yet they can't give the same in return.

 

It can be easy to think selfishly like that and to feel jaded the older we get. But at least in my case, I remind myself that I'm ultimately saving as much of myself as I can for my future wife as an act of love and commitment to her and to God. As long as she truly appreciates it, then it would have made it all worth it, even if she can't give me the same.

 

Keep your chin up and have faith. There are guys out there who will appreciate what you're doing. That I promise you :)

Whay about a diamond ring? 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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On 6/8/2015 at 11:28 PM, Invincible said:

I've never kissed anyone in all my 30 years and counting so far. I often times crave the moment when I can finally have my first kiss. At the same time, I can't miss what I never had. The idea of saving my first kiss till marriage does have it's appeal in my mind. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a hopeless romantic, but a first kiss is something very special to me. Since I've gone this long without kissing, I would be giving not just my virginity to my future wife, but my first kiss as well. I've made it this far already, I might as well go all in. lol

 

I'm not against the idea of kissing before marriage, but I do prefer that I didn't. Part of it is that I am so easily turned on that I'm afraid kissing might be too sexual for me. I won't know for sure unless I try it, but then that would defeat the whole purpose because I can't take it back.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I prefer saving my first kiss, but I'd also be okay if I didn't depending on the girl. But she wanted to kiss before marriage, I'd have to set certain boundaries like only quick kisses and we can't be alone.

I'm 13, had my first kiss a while ago, the most sexual it got was that I had a boner. If a mess of hormones and dreams had no problem, yuo likely won't either 

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Nothing wrong with that. I adore the idea of getting to share every kind of first experience together. I think it has much more meaning and value that way. I'm not sure I would want to save kissing myself, but that's more of a personal thing to me. I just respond the most favorably to physical affection, and kissing is very much a part of that. Not too sure why, I just seem to interpret touch as the highest form of love. I would feel conflicted about not being able to kiss her despite being "together".

You know I say all that despite never having actually kissed before. Or held hands. Yep. :wacko:

The explanation for that is I've never tried looking for a relationship, I know I gotta get myself sorted out before taking on that responsibility. That tends to go hand-in-hand with waiting though, so I'm fine with that right now. I'm also just not the type of person who constantly needs to be dating or in a relationship. I don't care much for variety either. It's wishful thinking, but hopefully the girl I end up kissing will also be the one.

Anyhow, we all have our own parameters for waiting. There is no right or wrong way to do it. All you need is someone who cooperates with you. Also, I'd consider myself very lucky to get a girl who hasn't kissed before either, and I'm sure some other guys would too.

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