Cora Jay

Saving your first kiss too?

67 posts in this topic

I know this sounds looney but some how, never kissing a guy just followed along with me saving myself until marriage.

Am I crazy to think saving myself includes my lips?

Now I'm turning 22 and getting older. I don't get in relationships until I create a good friendship foundation so kissing never tries to happen. Until it does then I'm pretending to sneeze or rushing away for text/phone call. Because of this a lot of guy friends have stayed friends.

How can you tell a guy, not only are we not having sex but we can't kiss either? Or should I drop my standard?

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Just be yourself and don't fear to state your ideas about that.

Be proud of it.

 

And NO you are not crazy. Don't listen to others. You are doing the right thing.

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In my opinion, I think it is good to wait. I'm not going to kiss someone I don't know. Nor someone I might like. Not even someone I like but don't necessarily love. But once properly engaged, I think a brief hello/goodbye kiss from time to time ought to be OK, just not the whole passionate kissing thing.

And both herpes and HIV can be transmitted through passionate kissing.

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And both herpes and HIV can be transmitted through passionate kissing.

 

Herpes can be spread through kissing, yes, but a majority of the adult population already has oral herpes. Most people who have it were infected as children. While it's theoretically possible to get HIV from kissing, it could only happen if both people involved had open wounds in their mouths.

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I've already kissed one person, and don't plan on saving kissing in the future, but I don't think you're crazy for wanting to wait for kissing. Everyone has to draw their line somewhere.

 

For me, kissing the person I'm romantically interested in is as natural and instinctual as shaking hands when I meet someone. That, combined with how much more easy and accessible it is than sex, would make it extremely hard to postpone it to the wedding. I'd be willing to give it a shot though if I the girl I was pursuing wanted to, and wasn't just afraid of physical intimacy.

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I haven't kissed anyone yet, and honestly I really like the idea of saving it for marriage.  If anything else, I like the idea that my wife will get to be my first everything.  Like Matt said, as long as she's not agreeing due to a fear of intimacy I'm good.

 

To answer your question though, if that's your conviction then stick to it.  If they don't love you enough to respect your standards, then they aren't for you.

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Don't drop your standards and don't let anyone pressure you into doing so. If you tell that to a guy and they aren't ok with that, then they don't respect you and aren't worth your time. A real man would respect you and your decisions and be supportive.

 

Good for you and be proud of who you are.

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While I'm going to agree with the others that you should maintain your standards, you also need to make sure people know that you're saving your first kiss until marriage. Kissing is a very fun, and in the right context, a very intimate activity. Most people won't be okay with not kissing at all until marriage. So you have an obligation to let them know that not only are you saving your virginity, but also your first kiss, until marriage.

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You my dear, are awesome. No kissing till marriage is a wonderful thing. Others may not get it, but it's mandatory as far as I'm concerned. You will make someone very happy in the future. Just make sure to avoid anyone who doesn't have the same standard. Share what you have to offer your eternal partner, with one who will appreciate all of it. :)

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Great. I am glad to hear of others saving their first kiss for marriage also. I wish you the best.

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Good on you! I think (passionate) kissing can sexualise the relationship too early (plenty of other things that need to be focused on) so I'll probably limit myself to off-the-lips kissing aswell. So as long as there isn't a problem with expressing physical intimacy. 

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I didn't know anybody saved their first kiss until joining this site and seeing the show 19 kids and counting. I haven't kissed anyone yet. I honestly like the idea of me and my future wife having our first kiss on our wedding day.

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I haven't even held hands with anyone yet :).

 

Edit: I just realized this is 'ask the guys' and I am not a guy :).

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I haven't even held hands with anyone yet :).

Same here! :)

< Except for this orange

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There is nothing to be ashamed of !! thats your personality and those are your standards!! people have to respect you for that not looking down at you ,, so be yourself and feel free to impose your rules  ;)

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I used to think this was crazy until I read about spreading herpes through mouth. Hahaha. No but seriously I guess I find it hard to connect with someone without kissing them. I just think of them as a friend if I don't kiss them. HOWEVER, I've heard guys (who've been used to having sex) say that to me about sex, which makes me think I don't want to sound like them, and actually want to go all the way (haha) and save the kisses too. Maybe I need to retrain what I'm used to in relationships to make it that much stronger foundationally so that when me and my husband DO kiss, none of our relationship was forged on being physical. I used to think that was ridiculous but in the spirit of waiting, I'd be up for that. Secretly I hope to find someone who wouldn't want to kiss until the marriage to make it that much more special. But also I feel like making out is a turn-on and makes you think about sex so if I did kiss someone it wouldn't be making out (idealistically). :)

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Im sorry guys and girls. Kissing is fine. There has to be some evaluation of chemistry

Strong people are able to stop at kissing/petting/soft stuff. But chaps the chances of that person who gets the first kiss being the "one" are very remote. Good luck to those who do but hey come on chaps.

Happy Thursday, Col

Well put in such a crude (not inappropriate, just raw) way. We might think "kissing leads to making out, making out leads to oral/manual sex, those lead to the full monty!", when really, that's not true.

I've slept in the same bed with a girl many nights over the course of a year (a couple years ago), never once having sex. I've gone much farther than I wish I had, but still know I would never have had sex.

 

I guess I don't see a problem with kissing as I do with sex. Sex is the most intimate one can be with someone. The most intimate of intimacies should be shared with one person, for that exclusivity gives value to that relationship above all others. Kissing is not the most intimate of intimacies, so it shouldn't be that big a deal. Kissing is wonderful, and shouldn't be done just to have fun or experiment with someone, but putting it in the same league as sex I think is not necessary.

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It would be incredibly hard to argue that a simple kiss is anywhere near as significant as having sex with someone. That being said, yes I do suppose it is giving a tiny piece of yourself to someone and I suppose it would very slightly take away from the sexual exclusivity I desire in a relationship, but it's so minor that it doesn't really bother me. I would probably wait a bit into the relationship to kiss, but I'd probably be up for it. I would also happily wait for it if I found a woman that hadn't kissed yet and wanted to wait.

 

Of course, I do think making out is more extreme. Still certainly not the same as sex, but it is enough that it would bother me and I wouldn't marry a girl that had done it before. I realize most people aren't bothered by making out, but this is my view.

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I guess the main reason I never thought I would wait to kiss is because it would be too difficult, but also because I could never find someone willing to wait for it. But now that I think about it, just being with the person would be enough excitement for me to wait to kiss and I can't imagine having it any other way. If anything it would be showing the person I care most about that I'd want to honor our relationship that much to where I wouldn't kiss them. It's almost like a gift to the person, showing my discipline, so that within the marriage they can trust Gods self-control within me. :)

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I've never kissed anyone in all my 30 years and counting so far. I often times crave the moment when I can finally have my first kiss. At the same time, I can't miss what I never had. The idea of saving my first kiss till marriage does have it's appeal in my mind. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a hopeless romantic, but a first kiss is something very special to me. Since I've gone this long without kissing, I would be giving not just my virginity to my future wife, but my first kiss as well. I've made it this far already, I might as well go all in. lol

 

I'm not against the idea of kissing before marriage, but I do prefer that I didn't. Part of it is that I am so easily turned on that I'm afraid kissing might be too sexual for me. I won't know for sure unless I try it, but then that would defeat the whole purpose because I can't take it back.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I prefer saving my first kiss, but I'd also be okay if I didn't depending on the girl. But she wanted to kiss before marriage, I'd have to set certain boundaries like only quick kisses and we can't be alone.

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I can understand why some people would wait until marriage to have their first kiss, and they are FAR from being crazy, but for myself, I don't see why I would.  I've kissed before, and I'd kiss again.  I *might* be willing if someone else wanted me to wait with them, but it'd be a tough sell for me, tbh.

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I've never kissed anyone in all my 30 years and counting so far. I often times crave the moment when I can finally have my first kiss. At the same time, I can't miss what I never had. The idea of saving my first kiss till marriage does have it's appeal in my mind. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a hopeless romantic, but a first kiss is something very special to me. Since I've gone this long without kissing, I would be giving not just my virginity to my future wife, but my first kiss as well. I've made it this far already, I might as well go all in. lol

I'm not against the idea of kissing before marriage, but I do prefer that I did. Part of it is that I am so easily turned on that I'm afraid kissing might be too sexual for me. I won't know for sure unless I try it, but then that would defeat the whole purpose because I can't take it back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I prefer saving my first kiss, but I'd also be okay if I didn't depending on the girl. But she wanted to kiss before marriage, I'd have to set certain boundaries like only quick kisses and we can't be alone.

Invincible, if IIIIII had waited THIRTY YEARS and never kissed a soul, I would DEFFFFFINITELY wait another year or two (or however long). Look at your investment time!!!! Think of your kids! And what if you kiss someone and it doesn't work out or you get herpes (LOL) then bam! You'll wish you would have waited.

But it's your body, your lips....HAHAHAHA sorry if that sounds pushy

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I can understand why some people would wait until marriage to have their first kiss, and they are FAR from being crazy, but for myself, I don't see why I would.  I've kissed before, and I'd kiss again.  I *might* be willing if someone else wanted me to wait with them, but it'd be a tough sell for me, tbh.

The thing that started freaking me out is the whole Herpes 1 thing. *shivers*

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