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Sally

First Kiss

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Since were all WTM here, I was just wondering how long you all usually wait on your first kiss with someone new or if you knew them as a friend, and now just started dating?

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I tend to wait until I know I have a good connection with a guy and that it could go somewhere to kiss them which has usually been after a couple of weeks of talking and dating.

Ideally, I'd like to wait a long time and until I have strong feelings for them and know it would be a lasting relationship but since I had my first ever kiss (which i saved for a romantic and special moment and special person) I've been a lot more easygoing about it and haven't waited as long as I'd have liked when I've been dating someone and I've always felt from there it kind of spiralled and rushed from step to step...i.e. relationship etc. when there wasn't enough of a connection.

Since I've been kind of dating the guy I talked about in another post we didn't kiss until about 3 months! Which has made it sooo much stronger because we had a proper grounded friendship before anything romantic :)

I also never kiss random guys at parties or in clubs because to me kissing is still a special thing that I like to do with someone I care about and I'd like the guy to care about me! I've had the opportunity to kiss random guys but I always felt like it was a bit seedy because I know what they want and I'm not the type of girl to give it them so why should I? Do you know what I mean?

Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble!

How about you Sally?

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I agree I'd rather it be later as the relationship isn't so focused on the physical then.

So excited for you!!! That's great....3 months!! That would take a lot of work for me :P

Over the summer when I was dating a guy I go to school with, we kinda rushed physical things and it wasn't good at all. I felt really uncomfortable after I told him about WTM and then he asked about what else being okay. I quickly let him go and he moved on to a girl thst fits him better within a month.

I'm embarrased to say that I have kissed a random guy before, but I think was more out of lonliness than anything else. I felt terrible; it just so not me, you know?!

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It's not something to be ashamed of! I totally understand! I've wanted to do it a lot of times just so I could see what it is like or to feel wanted and be touched sort of thing but then whenever it came down to it my head kicked me into touch and I get really grossed out at the thought of it and wimp out haha. Plus, I'd rather not be that girl to them.

The annoying thing I've found though!

When I like a guy I know but they don't know it, I'll dance with them but I won't kiss them because I'd rather know they liked me back first because i find it scary! someone else goes and kisses them on another night out and then they end up getting together or talking a lot more afterwards! I feel annoyed with myself then that if I had been the one to kiss them then they'd have ended up liking me not someone else. Have you ever had that?

Yeah, I think I've definitely rushed the physical stuff with every other relationship I've had and it's why its never felt right but this time I'm not as terrified about having feelings for someone because we got to know each other really well beforehand! I also told him i was waiting a month or two before we even kissed but it definitely helped that he was a shy guy because he had plenty of chances to kiss me but was too scared to go for it and I'm too shy to go for it too!

You clearly have amazing willpower to be able to wait so I'm sure you can hold of kissing an extra couple of weeks to really get to know them first and build more of an emotional relationship and a friendship. It's hard if there are lots of opportunities to do it though. I tended to turn my head and distract him or just start chatting about something else so he couldn't go for it haha.

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but it definitely helped that he was a shy guy

Score one for the shy guys! whoop whoop!...sorry, really random, i know.

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I'm embarrased to say that I have kissed a random guy before, but I think was more out of lonliness than anything else. I felt terrible; it just so not me, you know?!

I know what you mean, girl. Frat parties are the devil for me--twice I ended up having a few drinks, dancing with a guy, and by the end of it, we're making out against a wall. But I felt nothing for them. By the end of the night, I'm usually horrified with what I've done and I scurry out of there and hope no one says anything. That was during my first month of college though and I was lonely and they were eager.

I've really simmered down now and haven't put myself into that sort of situation since. I know that randomly hooking up with someone won't make me happy and that I really don't want to be that kind of girl.

Anyways, sorry for the long novel of a response.. it's just that I reaaally understand your viewpoint when it comes to kissing random boys.

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No problem; glad you can relate and understand what I'm talking about. I agree is a baxillion times better with a guy who likes you and you like back :);):D

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Well, my only experience with really kissing someone, like more than on the cheek or peck on the lips, is a few years ago when I was hanging out with an old friend from high school. I'd had such a big crush on him that I was anxious to see where it might go. I was the dumbest I've ever been with him, when I believed his story and feelings. Anyway, long story short, for a about a month we hung out and kissed. I enjoyed it, and I miss it, but I now know that I don't mind a casual kiss with someone I might have a future with after a few dates, but I won't beat myself up over a kiss before if it takes me by surprise and I enjoy it. I guess what I'm getting at is, for me personally, I have a rough timeline, but that's it. Not that I have ever had another chance, or foresee the chance in the future as I have a difficult getting to the point of dating anyway.

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This is still an experience I long for, when I meet the one. I have never kissed a girl before either

Lots of girls wanted to kiss me, Ive offered some of them my cheek but never my lips LOL

Its a special moment when it does happen, and I would like the atmosphere to be almost perfect, and the connection that I have with this person has to be strong 

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Hm...maybe a couple of months. It would take me a while to ask a girl out on a date (even when we have been friends for a while) so I expect my first first kiss to take a while too. 

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