Jegsy Scarr

Letters to your future husband/wife

28 posts in this topic

Hi guys!

I've been hearing a lot about people who wait till marriage and write letters to give to their husband or wife once they're married. Well, I thought it was a really beautiful idea, and a night or two ago I wrote one to my future husband. What I wanted to ask you all was:

1. What do you think of writing letters to your future spouse?

2. If it's something you would do yourself, what kind of things would you write about?

I actually typed my first letter up on the computer, just to make sure it sounded okay. Then I was going to write it out by hand, and I figured it'd be better to write it into a notebook rather than just a sheet of paper, since I figure I'll write a lot of them and it'd be easier to keep them all together. So I was looking around all my stuff to see if I actually had a nice empty notebook to write it in, but I couldn't find any. The next day, I was looking on the internet to see if there were any nice ones, didn't see any, thought, "I'll have a look next time I'm shopping". Then, a few hours later, my mum comes back home, says, "Oh, Julie, I got a couple of things for you while I was out shopping, thought you'd like them," and hands me some chocolate and...*drumroll*...a lovely little black notebook. Like she'd read my mind. And I was thinking to myself, "That must be a sign!" What was it Sally called it? A God-incidence!

Anyway, thought you'd like to hear that little story...

xxx

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I just wanted to share that we all seem to be forming telepathic connections with each other!

I know, right?!

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Hey Jegsy!

I love hand-written letters :) I've heard of letter-writing to one's future spouse before and think it's a wonderful idea. Taking the time to sit down and write about where you are and where you've come from also helps you grow as a person, so I can imagine that your future spouse would be pretty excited to be the recipient of all those letters on the special day... and to know that, in a way, he served as a source of inspiration for your own growth and development before the two of you had even come together. :)

Plus, in this digital age, sitting down to hand write a letter means more than it ever has before. It will mean even more on the day of your wedding!

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A God-incidence!

Wow I love that phrase, I think its really sweet, i might give it a try. I dont know what id wright though

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I may be a girl, but I have never been the romantic type. I think my only letter would go something like this:

Dear Future Husband:

You better be worth it!

Love, Restless Virgin

Kay, so I was (half) joking. But I don't think I could write a letter. Too embarrassing and cheesy for me. >.< But I would write a letter to my kids while I'm pregnant with them. And then give them the letters when they're 16 or something.

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Bahahah Sophie I love the brutal honesty....I really have thought that before lol! I feel weird about writing letters too; I have a couple in a journal I was reading in high school, but I feel like I've changed quite a bit since I was 17/18. (I'm 21 now) I know that's not a long time; but I feel that a lot has happened in my life in that time.

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Bahahah Sophie I love the brutal honesty....I really have thought that before lol! I feel weird about writing letters too; I have a couple in a journal I was reading in high school, but I feel like I've changed quite a bit since I was 17/18. (I'm 21 now) I know that's not a long time; but I feel that a lot has happened in my life in that time.

I keep journals too. Ever since I was 10. Sometimes I would write in my journal every day for hours and once I went 10 months without writing in one. Currently, I don't have the time to keep up a journal, but I do have one. I think journals can be a very great way of venting out your feelings and keeping thoughts and memories. But I don't keep diaries, just journals, so sometimes I have pages and pages of random sketches or I just write about an anime/manga/movie I like. XD I was reading through my old journals and I had my first serious crush at age 11 and my second crush at age 13-14. No crushes since!

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This idea deserves a reward!! I'm rather dissapointed in myself for not already thinking about doing this. To think that I call myself a hopeless romantic...

I've wrote in a journal since a very young age. I quit for years and then picked up again in 2005 [my freshman year of high school] and have been writing in them since along with doing a lot of reflections on my tumblr [http://www.tumblr.com/blog/princesszelda91]. Because of that, I've had a really good memory.

I would share my journal with my ex fiancee and allow him to read whatever he wanted. I felt that was a great way to keep the openness there between us- I never had anything to hide from him and wanted him to know that my feelings for him only were on the rise. Everybody else thought the idea was simply precious.

So, I love the idea of writing letters to my future husband!! I think I'll write one every so many months to him in a specific journal

I owe it to you guys!! <3

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So i thought i might add to this conversation, I'm a real romantic at heart, although i don't show it all the time, and when there is those awkward cheeseball moments, i actually squirm and cringe, anyways i kinda secretly have this beautiful walnut box, and inside it is about 20 odd letters to my husband. Most written at different stages in my life, and just things i wanted to say. I plan to let him read them after we are married, but i think i will get so shy and awkward when he does, :blush: because i wrote some when i was about 12 years old, and i could not imagine really what my 12 year old self sounded like, but my guess is pretty darn goofy...and more cheeseball than i could handle. :)

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So i thought i might add to this conversation, I'm a real romantic at heart, although i don't show it all the time, and when there is those awkward cheeseball moments, i actually squirm and cringe, anyways i kinda secretly have this beautiful walnut box, and inside it is about 20 odd letters to my husband. Most written at different stages in my life, and just things i wanted to say. I plan to let him read them after we are married, but i think i will get so shy and awkward when he does, :blush: because i wrote some when i was about 12 years old, and i could not imagine really what my 12 year old self sounded like, but my guess is pretty darn goofy...and more cheeseball than i could handle. :)

xD This is too cute! When I was twelve I didn't even have the slightest romantic way about myself and probably thought marriage and men were gross at the time. This will be something he'll always cherish and get laughs from because you only intended it to be for the eyes of him from a very young age. <3

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xD This is too cute! When I was twelve I didn't even have the slightest romantic way about myself and probably thought marriage and men were gross at the time. This will be something he'll always cherish and get laughs from because you only intended it to be for the eyes of him from a very young age. <3

Naww thanks :blush: haha its going to be one funny conversation :P I didn't have the easiest upbringing, so i had to grow up incredibly fast, so by 12 years old, I behaved more like an adult, so that could possibly explain why i was thinking about marriage and all that stuff at that age :)

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Naww thanks :blush: haha its going to be one funny conversation :P I didn't have the easiest upbringing, so i had to grow up incredibly fast, so by 12 years old, I behaved more like an adult, so that could possibly explain why i was thinking about marriage and all that stuff at that age :)

I wish I was in that set up. I know that in middle school was when I started thinking about the serious aspects of life and my decisions were shaping me into who I am now. I have always dated on a very serious level and there was nothing casual about my ways. So, I started trying to be more like an adult before the rest of the kids my age had any remote interest in being mature.

I think what I'm going to do is write in the special journal I bought nothing and call it "The hubby diaries." I think I'll write in it on a monthly basis [nothing less often] and give it to him to read on the day we get married after the ceremony.

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I don't have much of an opinion about the future husband/wife letters - I think like everything on here it's very specific to who you each are as individuals - but...

I guarantee all of you - because you are as thoughtful truly thought-full - as you are... will cherish the moments you write letters to your kids while you are someday pregnant. Those will be letters that will be small time capsules that when those babies are someday grownups they will cherish for themselves.

Our kids love looking at their baby books... not because of pictures... as much as the stuff we wrote many years ago about them, to them, as glimpses of who we were and the hopes, dreams, importance we placed on them and all that we could do for them. :-)

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I thin it is a great idea. When I was younger I had written some letters to my future husband but I don't have them anymore.

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http://www.chastityc...rg/husband.html

http://www.chastitycall.org/wife.html

Hi guys,

I wanted to share the above links with you because they helped me at a time when I was really doubting my decision to WTM and I felt that I would never find a guy who would wait for me. When I read these letters I started crying (like proper sobbing) because they touched me and I knew in my heart and soul that what was described in the letters was what I wanted. Basically they kind of helped me to reaffirm my belief in WTM and bring me back to the right path.

Hope you guys like them!

MM xx

PS thought it would be better to add these to this thread rather than starting a new thread with the same name!

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http://www.chastityc...rg/husband.html

http://www.chastitycall.org/wife.html

Hi guys,

I wanted to share the above links with you because they helped me at a time when I was really doubting my decision to WTM and I felt that I would never find a guy who would wait for me. When I read these letters I started crying (like proper sobbing) because they touched me and I knew in my heart and soul that what was described in the letters was what I wanted. Basically they kind of helped me to reaffirm my belief in WTM and bring me back to the right path.

Hope you guys like them!

MM xx

PS thought it would be better to add these to this thread rather than starting a new thread with the same name!

thanks MM! LOVELY AND VERY TIMELY FOR ME.

I must admit that since joining this community(few days ago), my will to WTM is growing stronger as well as the desire to grow spiritually.

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I love this idea! Another idea is to write each other a letter for the wedding day and you both exchange them right before the wedding (without looking at each other of course) and read them together. I would probably do something like that.

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I like the idea. Actually, writing letters to your future children and grandchildren might be a good idea - if you're really sentimental. What about a husband who had never had children diagnosed with a terminal disease, donating sperm to a sperm bank, and writing a letter to his future children? I know of that happening.

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I've always loved the idea of writing old-fashioned love letters. I actually began writing letters to my future wife about 5 years ago after my last relationship ended and some of them talk about my past experiences as well as future hopes and dreams. I think much of them speak of the more romantic side of me that I don't show many people. I've actually compiled a collection of about 100 letters so far that talk about everything from my love for her, to my questionable past, to seeing many of the beautiful things in this world without her that I want to experience with her. Below is a sample of one of my more recent letters.

07/29/16

 

Dearest Love,

 

I can feel the coolness of the desert breeze this July night as droplets of water roll down my window pane. The fog continues to increase and subside with each breath I take as I stare out hopelessly into the nothingness of these lights-less city streets. I know somewhere out there you're staring out into the world wondering where I am as well. You're feeling as if life is speaking to you in riddles at times. But have faith that someday our paths will cross, and like stars burning across the night sky our lives will never be the same again.

 

I have learned that this life is one giant obstacle to get back to you. Every struggle, every heartache, every goodbye is just another footstep on my journey until our next hello. Sometimes it feels as if my heart is a small room, filled with the faces of all the people I hurt while I was hurting, on all my journeys from tomorrow to yesterday. Through all the pain I've learned that letting go is not the hardest part, it's accepting the fact that they're never coming back; but I know I was meant for someone better, I was meant for you.

 

I told myself if I ever decide to fall in love again, it'll be about more than just feelings. It'll be about missed opportunities; about absences and all things ignored. It'll be about all the beautiful poetry inside you I read, but failed to understand. It'll be about all the broken pieces of myself left in all the things I failed to once love. It'll be about becoming lost in something I love and how every moment spent with you is like waiting for something inspiring to happen. I will keep company to all the lonely things inside of you and I will dance with your fears and make love to all the things that make you feel alone.

 

If I do fall, I pray I fall for you like gravity has let go of the earth. I pray for a long slow drop without an ending and I will love you until the salt leaves the sea. Love does not come in coffee shops or random encounters; it comes in the middle of the night when no one else is around. I pray for a true love...a pure and gentle and untouched kind of love, the kind that wasn't ruined by the chaos of the world. And if I should find that, I thank you for reminding me what it is to love and be loved; showing me the life I have yet to live and for the hope of spending it with you.

 

One day....one day love will feel like home.

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Here's another God-incidence: I started writing letters to my future husband yesterday in a little notebook ;)

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12/08/13

Dearest Love,

 I wrote a note for you last night on a scrap of paper, when I was done I folded it over a few times and placed it in my pocket. There were no words of eloquence or some brilliant piece of advice, just the phrase ‘I give up’. You see, the one thing that I’ve wanted the most is also the one thing that I am least prepared for. I would rather be lonely all the time than bring someone happiness only part of the time. My mind has always been consumed with the voices of doubt and maybe they’re not wrong, maybe they’re the only truth left in my life?

 I believe that one day I may find happiness, but it won’t be the kind that I truly seek. It’ll be the passive kind that comes and goes like status updates, the quiet kind that comes from bringing a smile to a friend’s face or hearing them laugh, the enduring kind that comes from accomplishments and accolades, the humble kind that comes from granting forgiveness and showing compassion to others. But intimate love will always be the ever elusive happiness that I shall never find. It shall haunt me like a ghost, along with all the parts of me that life has killed.

 I think the hardest thing of all is even through all the scattered scars and self-inflicted injuries, I still try to have a gentle heart. When it comes down to it, I know I’ll always see her standing there with that look of love in her eyes, and it wasn’t mine. Every time I remember that look I subconsciously hold my breath if only to live in the past for one more moment, or perhaps because I was unaware of the ache that was soon to follow. Time can’t erase the things that I’ve done or the pain that I’ve experienced, because regardless of what happens, time just…goes on…

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I'm glad someone resurrected this topic, or I wouldn't have seen it.

In an online community I won't mention, there were a couple of people who would post anonymous letters to their future spouses. One of them was a friend of mine whom I encouraged to do so. Said friend is a devotee of the Norse pantheon, and we positioned the practice as a devotional act and offering of art for the sake of attracting her future husband.

I had given her the idea because I had written similar letters myself, albeit to someone in particular (long story). I'm something of a hopeless romantic, so they came naturally to me. I think it's a wonderful practice when combined with an intentional mechanism to make it effective. I have it understood that the majority of the userbase here is of an Abrahamic religion, so I can see this fitting well within prayer, but there are other mechanisms for those of us who aren't.

Still, great idea, and it might be a nice thing if people here want to write and post their letters in one spot. It would be an interesting community activity.

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9 hours ago, Jorge said:

12/08/13

Dearest Love,

 I wrote a note for you last night on a scrap of paper, when I was done I folded it over a few times and placed it in my pocket. There were no words of eloquence or some brilliant piece of advice, just the phrase ‘I give up’. You see, the one thing that I’ve wanted the most is also the one thing that I am least prepared for. I would rather be lonely all the time than bring someone happiness only part of the time. My mind has always been consumed with the voices of doubt and maybe they’re not wrong, maybe they’re the only truth left in my life?

 I believe that one day I may find happiness, but it won’t be the kind that I truly seek. It’ll be the passive kind that comes and goes like status updates, the quiet kind that comes from bringing a smile to a friend’s face or hearing them laugh, the enduring kind that comes from accomplishments and accolades, the humble kind that comes from granting forgiveness and showing compassion to others. But intimate love will always be the ever elusive happiness that I shall never find. It shall haunt me like a ghost, along with all the parts of me that life has killed.

 I think the hardest thing of all is even through all the scattered scars and self-inflicted injuries, I still try to have a gentle heart. When it comes down to it, I know I’ll always see her standing there with that look of love in her eyes, and it wasn’t mine. Every time I remember that look I subconsciously hold my breath if only to live in the past for one more moment, or perhaps because I was unaware of the ache that was soon to follow. Time can’t erase the things that I’ve done or the pain that I’ve experienced, because regardless of what happens, time just…goes on…

Wow...I do think that it is really beautiful and  poetic ...

But as the same time quite pessimistic and very sad ? You could use your talents with words to write optimistic love letters and not sad ones...

But it's your choice...

 

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