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How long do you want to have kids after being married?

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I guys I was just wondering if any of you had a certain amount of time you wanted to wait before having kids. For me when I was younger I wanted to wait just a year but as I have gotten older I think that I want to have at least a few years with my husband and just enjoy being married. But I guess it will depend also on how old I am when I get married and what my husband feels as well.

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In an ideal world, I would love to have a few years where it's just me and my husband but unfortunately I do not have the luxury of time.  At my age, I would really need to start trying to conceive as soon as we get married - I do not want to miss the chance to have children of my own.  I would be devastated if I ended up marrying so late that having children was biologically impossible.  For me, this is the hardest thing about waiting.

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My husband and I have a set schedule for when we'll start trying for kids, but it's one we've told very very few people. We've already received nosy questions about when we're going to have kids (um, we've been married 10 weeks, chill out). I just want us to be able to start trying in our own time and not feel the unspoken (or spoken) pressure of friends and family knowing we're trying.

 

We made our decision based on multiple factors. My biological clock, time to adjust as newlyweds, and what we want to accomplish before kids.

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My parents waited 3 years before they had me, and I'd like to do the same.  Kids are so much of a responsibility that the dynamics of your marriage completely change until they leave the house as adults.  I'd like for us to have a few years in our marriage where we can spend time getting to know one another, travel, accomplish certain goals, and do lots of other activities that would improve the overall strength of the relationship.  Kids are a blessing but I can wait for a little while.  :lol:

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If I get married as early as I'd like to...5-8 yrs lol I want that unbreakable bond with my Hubbs before we even think about having children :D if not so early then at least 3-4 yrs

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If I get married at about 26, then I'd probably want to wait about three years, so I'd have my first kid around age 29. That seems like a pretty good age -- young enough so that you're not under a ton of pressure from your biological clock (I only want two kids, so I could plan on having a second one around 32/33), but old enough so that you've been solidly out of school for many years, hopefully have some savings, and are mature enough to really be able to take on the responsibility.

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I know this is a sensitive topic for a lot of women because they have a smaller ideal window of opportunity to have children than guys do. I really to feel for the ladies on this issue.

 

But even as a man, I still feel like this is a touchy subject for me too. I'm what some would consider an "older waiter" as in 25 years or older according to this site. I've always wanted to wait at least a couple years of just being myself and my wife but I'm afraid I may not have that luxury. Seeing how I am close to 30 and not even in a relationship yet, the soonest I'd even get married would probably be around 32-33 after dating and engagement. But likely it' would probably be later than that. I would want my first child by 35 at the latest because I don't want to be like 60 by the time my first child is in college.

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immediately lol. i think because im already 26. my biological clock is starting to tick so i want to be able to have a big family.

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immediately lol. i think because im already 26. my biological clock is starting to tick so i want to be able to have a big family.

 

yeah...me too,,how many kids would you like?

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4-5 years. Maybe longer if we're/she's younger and maybe shorter if we're/she's older.

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A few years-we both want to be done school before we start having children, so probably 4-5 years from now, assuming we get married within a year or two, as we've talked about.

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I realize now that this can be more of a touchy subject for some so I am thankful for you guys in replying. Age is a really big factor in this choice. And I think that as waiters we may not get as much time to wait for children as others who are not waiting for marriage.

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Do you think you would ever change your mind?

It's quite possible I would, it's mainly just 12-14 year olds who repulse me.

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I would say about a year, for the honeymoon phase and so we can get use to each other living together. :) after that its on!

P.S. My brother-in-law doesn't like kids, but he loves his little girl.

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I've never really thought about how long I want to wait after getting married but I do know I don't want to have kids before I'm 30. I want to enjoy my 20s and to also have saved enough for a comfortable life for them.

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It will be whenever the wife and I agree to have children.

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yeah...me too,,how many kids would you like?

i want 8. 4 girls 4 boys lol and i already have their names picked out lol what about you

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My parents waited almost 10 years after they married before they had me. I'd like to wait a little while but definitely not that long. lol I want to have my first kid before I'm 30, but it all kind of depends on when I get married as well. I'd hope to get married around the age of 21 or 22, and then wait about 4 years for kids. But it's definitely not as easy to find a husband while waiting til marriage.

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If I don't have any good reason to not have a baby straight away, then I'm not going to wait. I mean, I don't think I'd actually try for a baby exactly, but just let nature take its course, if you get what I mean. Just have sex, not really plan anything either way. If baby comes along, then great! It'd only be after the first one that I'd start actually "planning" to get pregnant.

 

I don't know, I've always felt as if it's better not to wait, since I'd like to have a large family. There'd be nothing worse than saying, "We'll wait 3-5 years" or whatever, and then trying for a baby and realising something was wrong. My parents were trying for years to have me, and eventually found out they couldn't have a baby naturally (IVF, but that's another story). I don't know, I guess I'm worried infertility's going to be hereditary, and I can't afford to waste time.

 

xxx

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For me, I think it all depends on her age, and what she would like.  I would want to wait a couple years at least I think, but that's a joint decision.  I also don't mind adopting, in my mind, I don't have to have biological children.

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