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Belle Femme

Great Article About Virginity, from a 23-Year-Old

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The Guardian posted this excellent article about virginity, in light of Elliot Rodger's misogynistic manifesto and massacre.

 

 

First, no person deserves sex; we're not born with the right to be able take from another person's body that which we desire. Sex is an experience people have with one another, not an achievement to which one is entitled. You don’t unlock sex. It must be consensually earned – and anything short of that is rape.

 

Second, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, regardless your age – and the reasons that people don't have sex are as varied as the people who don't.

 

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Thank you for sharing this article. I can certainly relate to a lot of the things the author discusses, particularly the part where he felt obliged to pretend that he had had sex when the topic was raised during a class discussion.  Almost the same thing happened to me and I am ashamed to admit that I lied and said that I had had sex, for fear of being ridiculed for still being a virgin.  It is refreshing to hear about the topic of virginity from a man who, although not waiting for marriage, still places great value on only having sex within a committed, loving relationship and is waiting to be in such a situation before 'taking the plunge'.

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I've never lied about waiting til marriage, but I definitely lied about being a "kissing virgin" once. I was 19 and about nine months away from my first kiss. I was a camp counselor with a cabin full of snotty sixth graders. They all cornered me and asked if I had a boyfriend. When I admitted I had never had a boyfriend, they all acted like I was a freak. So when they demanded to know if I had "at least" kissed a boy, I rolled my eyes and said of course I had.

 

I've been quiet about my virginity in certain circumstances before. Like everyone around me was sharing sex stories and and I just laughed and joked with them, but never shared the fact that I didn't have a sex story.

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It seems so wrong for the psych professor to require such personal information from students in her class. :/ I would've complained to the school, honestly.

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It seems so wrong for the psych professor to require such personal information from students in her class. :/ I would've complained to the school, honestly.

 

Seriously. That really surprised me. Like, maybe if it's a human sexuality class, and it's an anonymous survey of all students that semester taking one of multiple sections... But just straight-up asking the class? Awkward.

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Heck I think being a virging as a girl or guy is an freakin' awesome thing! but then again I am a girl and not a guy so it's really interesting to see a guy's perspective on it. Interesting article.

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