mccay

New member with an issue

29 posts in this topic

well done for talking about this - I think its much hard to be a male virgin than it is to be a girl. And well done for admitting that this is your issue, not hers....

but look at it like this, youre the lucky one, youve saved yourself. she obviously bitterly regrets what she did before - but she couldnt see you coming!

why do you want to know about the past?

i hope yoiu wont be offended if is sak whether this is a guy's thing?

I would prefer my husband wen I find him to be a virgin like me, but if hes not - I wont really care. You sound like you find it almost humiliating that other men have slept with your wife to be........

don't be - the past is the past, I'm certain she now wishes she had waited - so look to the future!!

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well done for talking about this - I think its much hard to be a male virgin than it is to be a girl. And well done for admitting that this is your issue, not hers....

but look at it like this, youre the lucky one, youve saved yourself. she obviously bitterly regrets what she did before - but she couldnt see you coming!

why do you want to know about the past?

i hope yoiu wont be offended if is sak whether this is a guy's thing?

I would prefer my husband wen I find him to be a virgin like me, but if hes not - I wont really care. You sound like you find it almost humiliating that other men have slept with your wife to be........

don't be - the past is the past, I'm certain she now wishes she had waited - so look to the future!!

Thanks for the kind words.

I can't tell you if this is a guy's thing or not, it's definitely possible that this falls under the realm of double standards. I don't know if as many girl waiters feel the same as guy waiters (when the partners are not waiters).

I do and I don't want to know about the past. I don't because I don't want the reality to be worse than my imagination, and I do because I hope the reality is better than my imagination. I don't ask because I'm afraid of the former, and even if the latter is true, I doubt it will leave me satisfied so I think it's better that I don't know. Plus...

I also know that the less I overthink and overanalyze, the better. The more I pontificate, the more of an issue I make it for myself. As much as this forum is a blessing for me as I've had no outlet prior to this, I think I need to be careful with how much I use this site.

And I wouldn't say humiliating, but yes, it does bother me what you say about other men and that thought has crossed my mind. 

Why can't society just respect the sanctity of marriage?

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I love your honesty about this.

I agree that you need to stop thinking about it so much, theres nothing you can do about it.

But I udnerstand that it's hard, and I think (guys and girls being different!) that there is a bit of a difference - 'double standard' is too harsh - just a difference in the way we see it. My virginity will be my gift to my husband, I will understand it if he is sexually experienced and it won't devalue my achivement one bit. But I'm sure guys feel differenty - and you can't help it either.

when are you getting married (the sooner the better I think!)

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Just don't be one of those guys 30 years into their marriage that wake up every day disgusted by their wife because the thoughts of her and other men plagues their minds and souls.

You are strong my good Sir.
I couldn't do that. That's for sure.

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