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CrystalFaerie

Eeek… I did something and now I feel really bad

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Okay, first off, no I didn't "do the deed". But I feel really bad and dirty for having done this and I really need some advice.

 

*deep breath* here goes.

 

I met this really cute guy recently and we exchanged our numbers. He's on holiday right now so we've been texting. I didn't really have a crush on him, but he was cute and seemed friendly so I decided to see where it would go. Well, he started off nice and sent me a couple of pictures of what he was doing on holiday, etc. Then the pictures started to get more revealing. Underwear pics, that type of thing. He kept pushing me to send him pictures of me like that. I told him I wasn't ready for that but (I'm really ashamed of this) I sent him a couple of sexy poses. Like this kind of thing (it's okay to click, there's no nudity). Note that I was FULLY CLOTHED! But I still feel so bad about what I did, like I was used.

 

I didn't tell him I was WTM. Maybe that's where I went wrong. In any case, I stopped texting him but he's still texting me asking for more pictures. I don't know what to do. Apart from what I mentioned he's a really sweet guy, really friendly, and we have a lot in common. I think we could be good friends (after this I can't imagine dating him). I want to tell him I'm not up for this, but at the same time I don't want to hurt him. I also don't want to mislead him and have him think that as soon as he's back, we're getting it on.

 

I know this isn't a confession booth but I really need the advice of other WTM people who can understand. I feel so awful about this and I just want to get this over and done with. Thank you so much for reading.

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I think being firm with him is probably the best course of action if you want him to get him to stop asking. Just be honest and tell him you don't like to be viewed as a sex object and won't be sending anymore pictures. I probably wouldn't tell him you felt ashamed/bad  of the pictures as you want to be seen as someone who is in a position of control and not as a person who has a weakness that can be exploited (Not that I disagree, I'd feel the same way).

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Awww sad to hear you're feeling ashamed and used :(  I've felt that way and it's not fun at all  (for me it was also after doing much more than send pictures)  I hope you can get over this quickly and be happy again :) My advice is just to be open and honest with him about how you feel.  Say something like "I know you just meant it in good fun but I didn't feel comfortable by sending those pictures. I'm more conservative and and that was a little too much for me" Don't try to sound as if he really hurt you or anything but make your boundaries clear.  Also mention that you enjoy talking to him :) Will be interesting to see his reaction after that.  If he starts being nasty about it, Adios!!!! But hopefully he'll be understanding, apologize and continue to be chatty.  As for leading him on, you can ask him outright what he thinks of you.  If he gives a hint of romantic interest, again be upfront but do it sweetly.  Say "I'm not really sure if that's how I feel, I just feel it's too fast but who knows what might happen in the future?" Will also be interesting to see how he reacts after that.  I'm really hoping that he is a good guy like you say and he'll respect your wishes.  A truely good person respects who you are and your boundaries :)

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I can understand feeling used, and yes, the guy probably didn't have good intentions. But...if this is the worst thing you do in life, you're doing pretty well lol. I don't really think you should feel "dirty" considering there was no nudity.

 

I personally like a girl who is a waiter but at the same time is comfortable looking sexy every once in a while.

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Thanks a lot guys, it really helps.

 

I personally like a girl who is a waiter but at the same time is comfortable looking sexy every once in a while.

 

I'm fine looking sexy for someone that I'm interested in, and who I know is interested in all of me (not just my body). In this case though, I felt like he was just using my pics to get turned on. Now that I think about it, I have a feeling that he only pretended to be interested in me as a person so he could get what he wanted.

 

What I mean is that I'm comfortable with my body, and I enjoy looking good, but in this situation it didn't feel quite right.

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Just tell him no and that you feel uncomfortable doing that or exactly what you said " You know I'm not really up for this anymore". If he keeps persisting you can just tell him that you already said no, and feel uncomfortable doing it. That doing this isn't really your thing and doesn't feel right.

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Be very cautious when sending people pictures of you. It's scary to think where they can end up...the internet can be a wicked place and unscrupulous people can do unimaginable things. Hoping for the best in your situation.

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Thanks again everyone. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't up for this but he wasn't very understanding, so I've blocked his number. I realise now that he wasn't that much of a nice guy to begin with, and I don't think I'll be getting in touch again soon.

 

Hopefully he will keep those pictures to himself and he won't try to contact me again.

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I think you made the right decision.  Someone should never force you to do something you don't feel is comfortable or morally right.  Some guys are only interested in one thing (sex).  Although I thnk you're physically attractive, your mind and heart are the most important assets you possess.  :)     

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Simple just ignore him and move past it, learn from it, forgive yourself, and remember not to repeat it. GL!

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Good to see that you made it out of the situation okay.  I guess the only thing I can really tell you is to be on guard in the future against dudes like that.  The fact that he asked you for pictures despite the fact that you said that you weren't ready for that shows that he wasn't a true gentleman, and had you stayed with him he no doubt would have kept ramming away at your boundaries until either he got what he wanted or you ditched him.  He was looking out for his interests, not yours.

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