Bluey

About Women

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So, when you hear a woman mention something negative about another woman, how do you react?

What do you think could actually be going on? 

What is your role in all of this?

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Honesty!! I would love to know what you men really think as well!!!

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Do you want an honest answer or something sugar coated?

Give me the bitters.

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Unless I'm personally involved or it is causing dissension in the workplace, I'd be a passive observer.

However, I would encourage the two women to come to terms with each other before things get out of hand.

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Unless you're personally involved, it doesn't matter. Oh, post-modern society, your beauties...

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I usually just listen, because they are probably just tense and need to get something off their chest. But if it is just being mean, then I try to show them the other person's point of view.

 

whoops, just saw this was in Ask the Guys, sorry!

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So, when you hear a woman mention something negative about another woman, how do you react?

 

You're basically asking how we would react to a woman acting like a woman :P

 

What do you think could actually be going on? 

 

Who knows? Most women don't even understand other women. What chance does a man have? lol

 

What is your role in all of this?

 

I'll just be sitting on the sidelines, playing video games :)

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So far, your answers have been: “who cares, it doesn’t effect me,†“women decide to degrade/ be degraded because they enjoy it,†and, “I would assume that both parties are in the wrong, for lack of the positive feels between them.â€

Maybe I should rephrase this in guyspeak: if someone picked a fight with you in public, how would you react? How would you expect others to react? How would you react to two men fighting in public?

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So, when you hear a woman mention something negative about another woman, how do you react?

- I would listen carefully and think about it, cuz maybe they're joking or just exaggerating. If they're being straight up rude, I would be like "stop being mean, explain the situation to me" lol

 

What do you think could actually be going on? 
- actually going on? You mean... :o omg, LESBIANS!? I dunno.

What is your role in all of this?
- If I know the girl pretty well, I would be like "just forget them, they ain't worth it" and try and help her forget whatever was bugging her

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As woman, if they are my friends I wouldn't want to chime in cause then your picking  sides no matter how rational you are trying to be in helping with the situation....then it's high school all over again...seriously! :rolleyes:

 

If they are strangers it's a whole different thing because then you don't know anything about them,you don't know the back story and in that situation it can easily be mistaken for snooping or poking your nose in other people's business then the whole thing just turns against you.

 

So in both situations I wouldn't want to get involved not because I don't care but for the sake of preserving both friendships or for my own  safety and I really hate the drama. Bottom line, these things do happen in life. People say mean things to each other all the time, then they make up or not...it's life. So in most cases it's best not get involved not unless it gets physical then just call the cops.

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So far, your answers have been: “who cares, it doesn’t effect me,†“women decide to degrade/ be degraded because they enjoy it,†and, “I would assume that both parties are in the wrong, for lack of the positive feels between them.â€

Maybe I should rephrase this in guyspeak: if someone picked a fight with you in public, how would you react? How would you expect others to react? How would you react to two men fighting in public?

 

If someone picked a fight with me in public? I'd probably just ignore them and keep walking, if it got physical I'd lay them out or run like a bat out of hell.

 

I'd expect others to just ignore it unless the other person got completely out of hand. Then someone would probably step in. If it got physical then the guys would probably not interfere until someone was on the ground.

 

Two men fighting in public. If it was just words I'd listen but not interfere, unless one of them was being completely ridiculous and harassing the other one. If it was physical I'd make sure neither of them got hurt too badly, and that the fight was fair (Someone who's 5'6 and 130 pounds has almost no chance against someone who's 6'4 and 240 pounds) but I wouldn't stop the fight otherwise. I suppose I would also interfere if the fight was for a stupid reason or no reason at all. But that's pretty much it. 

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I do have to say, I know a woman who was being a bully at work. It was not directed to me, but to other women. I had to tell her if she was going to act the way she was, I didn't want anything to do with her issues (in front of everything). That finally broke her because she knew what she was doing was unchristian and was going to ruin her friendship with me. I'm glad she ended up going to a different branch, because she was so unhappy at mine (for childish reasons BTW).

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If someone picked a fight with me in public? I'd probably just ignore them and keep walking, if it got physical I'd lay them out or run like a bat out of hell.

 

I'd expect others to just ignore it unless the other person got completely out of hand. Then someone would probably step in. If it got physical then the guys would probably not interfere until someone was on the ground.

 

Two men fighting in public. If it was just words I'd listen but not interfere, unless one of them was being completely ridiculous and harassing the other one. If it was physical I'd make sure neither of them got hurt too badly, and that the fight was fair (Someone who's 5'6 and 130 pounds has almost no chance against someone who's 6'4 and 240 pounds) but I wouldn't stop the fight otherwise. I suppose I would also interfere if the fight was for a stupid reason or no reason at all. But that's pretty much it. 

I appreciate your compassionate response toward others. However, when someone picks a fight with you, your option is to escape by fighting.

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So, when you hear a woman mention something negative about another woman, how do you react?

What do you think could actually be going on? 

What is your role in all of this?

 

Maybe I should rephrase this in guyspeak: if someone picked a fight with you in public, how would you react? How would you expect others to react? How would you react to two men fighting in public?

 

Are you saying that a woman talking negatively about another woman is the female equivalent to a physical altercation between men (I'm genuinely curious; I didn't initially see the connection and didn't get that that's what you were asking).

 

Honestly, whenever someone talks negatively about another person, I a] ignore it if I don't know the other person well, if it seems like the person saying the things is just blowing off steam, or if it seems like a petty issue between the two people, b] stick up for the other person and try to reason out his/her side, or c] join the person if if I agree with what is being said and the sentiment with which it is being said (sometimes I'm in the wrong in this case, but I'm human). I figure my role is either to listen, stick up for the other person, or ignore it and pretend it never happened.

 

As for your guy-speak translation:

 

If a guy picked a fight with me in public, then plan A would be to try to ignore him and keep moving, plan B to evade him and/or dispatch him peacefully, and plan C would be fight or flight. I have zero fighting experience or training, so I would fight as dirty as possible until he was on the ground or running away. If he had a knife or any weapon or was much bigger/tougher looking than me I'd get the hell outta there.

 

I would expect others to watch and do nothing. That's usually what people do. If things got really bad then I would hope someone would intervene or contact authorities, but you can't count on it.

 

If I saw two men fighting then I like to think I would react similarly to Mirage. If one of them got put on the ground I'd probably jump in and try to calm the other guy down before he started kicking the guy while he's down.

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So far, your answers have been: “who cares, it doesn’t effect me,” “women decide to degrade/ be degraded because they enjoy it,” and, “I would assume that both parties are in the wrong, for lack of the positive feels between them.”

Maybe I should rephrase this in guyspeak: if someone picked a fight with you in public, how would you react? How would you expect others to react? How would you react to two men fighting in public?

 

I'm so scrawny, Rwandan refugees would offer me food. I would get my butt handed to me in any fight so it would be in my best interest to avoid any fight at all costs. Plus fights for no reason at all is just so uncivilized. Why can't conflicts between two guys be settled in a manly AND civilized way, like over a game of Candy Land? But if it was life or death, then every ounce of honor i have will be thrown out the window. He will be shot.

 

If I saw two men fighting, I'd probably just call the police or just leave them be and let natural selection take it's course.

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So far, your answers have been: “who cares, it doesn’t effect me,†“women decide to degrade/ be degraded because they enjoy it,†and, “I would assume that both parties are in the wrong, for lack of the positive feels between them.â€

Maybe I should rephrase this in guyspeak: if someone picked a fight with you in public, how would you react? How would you expect others to react? How would you react to two men fighting in public?

I don't react to people picking fights, I ignore them, not many people pick fights with me though considering I'm so unassuming and don't look threatening :P when I see men fighting in public I'll leave it, unless a life is in danger I won't step in, it's not my business.

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I had several women working for me a few years ago, and from time to time, I'd be 'enlightened' by one of them about the other.  I had to be doubly careful as their boss, because being unfairly swayed one way or the other would have become a problem.

 

Usually, I would try to listen, maybe try to understand (or maybe not!), and try not to agree or disagree if possible.  And I would take it with a grain of salt, since a boss should try to be objective.  And usually it would pass without incident, though I wouldn't ignore what was said if it sounded like a real problem.

 

I guess in general, I would try to not let myself be manipulated, whether in an oversight role or just a friend.  And I would probably be inclined to side with the person I knew the best, typical human nature.

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I'm so scrawny, Rwandan refugees would offer me food. I would get my butt handed to me in any fight so it would be in my best interest to avoid any fight at all costs. Plus fights for no reason at all is just so uncivilized. Why can't conflicts between two guys be settled in a manly AND civilized way, like over a game of Candy Land? But if it was life or death, then every ounce of honor i have will be thrown out the window. He will be shot.

If I saw two men fighting, I'd probably just call the police or just leave them be and let natural selection take it's course.

As someone once said," it's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog." I can relate with Vince's point about scrawness. On the one hand, I'm also a small guy. In my experience, big guys usually pick on smaller guys. That's the order of the food chain. However, I also agree with Vince's point about fighting. I'm also someone whose is not keen on fighting because it seems someone always gets hurt.

If someone picked a fight with me, I would try to calm him down. If we could settle differences in a civilized manner. I'm all for it. Although, if fighting was for a noble reason(eg., protect someone from rapist or if it is a life or death situation) I would engage the person. If I saw two men fighting, I think I would also call the cops.

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I know this is ask guys but

As a woman I must say that I absolutely detest drama.

I dont like when people do this, why do they care so much about someone else's life?

We had a situation this weekend, some girls invited me out and it started with...drama. One of the girls was on the phone asking what some other girl said and they gossiped about her for a good 30 minutes. Blah blah blah he said, she said, then we finally left and they gossiped about people in our command pretty much all throughout dinner(mind you this is ABSOLUTE torture for me) I decided I probably shouldn't go out with these girls again.

The next day one of the girls (a different girl) in my command was crying and yelling in the hall. As I was walking out I saw a friend of mine carrying stuff upstairs so I asked her what she was upto. Apparently the girls I went out with the night before were picking on the girl that was crying in the hall. Calling her fat, and basically bullying her for the past week, ie blasting music to disturb her, taking extra long showers, doing everything they can to torture her, so she was moving upstairs. I helped the poor girl move her stuff, it was like I was back in middle school I dont know why people have to be so mean.

This is why I usually keep to myself and have a very small friend pool, as soon as someone talks badly about someone else I skeedaddle outta there! and choose not to hang out with that person again. I just cant stand constant gossip/drama blegh!

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I know this is ask guys but

As a woman I must say that I absolutely detest drama.

I dont like when people do this, why do they care so much about someone else's life?

We had a situation this weekend, some girls invited me out and it started with...drama. One of the girls was on the phone asking what some other girl said and they gossiped about her for a good 30 minutes. Blah blah blah he said, she said, then we finally left and they gossiped about people in our command pretty much all throughout dinner(mind you this is ABSOLUTE torture for me) I decided I probably shouldn't go out with these girls again.

The next day one of the girls (a different girl) in my command was crying and yelling in the hall. As I was walking out I saw a friend of mine carrying stuff upstairs so I asked her what she was upto. Apparently the girls I went out with the night before were picking on the girl that was crying in the hall. Calling her fat, and basically bullying her for the past week, ie blasting music to disturb her, taking extra long showers, doing everything they can to torture her, so she was moving upstairs. I helped the poor girl move her stuff, it was like I was back in middle school I dont know why people have to be so mean.

This is why I usually keep to myself and have a very small friend pool, as soon as someone talks badly about someone else I skeedaddle outta there! and choose not to hang out with that person again. I just cant stand constant gossip/drama blegh!

They managed to evict someone from her residence and had an impact on her academic success. <_<  I'll bet they feel great.

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I know this is ask guys but

As a woman I must say that I absolutely detest drama.

I dont like when people do this, why do they care so much about someone else's life?

We had a situation this weekend, some girls invited me out and it started with...drama. One of the girls was on the phone asking what some other girl said and they gossiped about her for a good 30 minutes. Blah blah blah he said, she said, then we finally left and they gossiped about people in our command pretty much all throughout dinner(mind you this is ABSOLUTE torture for me) I decided I probably shouldn't go out with these girls again.

The next day one of the girls (a different girl) in my command was crying and yelling in the hall. As I was walking out I saw a friend of mine carrying stuff upstairs so I asked her what she was upto. Apparently the girls I went out with the night before were picking on the girl that was crying in the hall. Calling her fat, and basically bullying her for the past week, ie blasting music to disturb her, taking extra long showers, doing everything they can to torture her, so she was moving upstairs. I helped the poor girl move her stuff, it was like I was back in middle school I dont know why people have to be so mean.

This is why I usually keep to myself and have a very small friend pool, as soon as someone talks badly about someone else I skeedaddle outta there! and choose not to hang out with that person again. I just cant stand constant gossip/drama blegh!

What those girls did really shows their maturity level as well. I mean honestly what do they have to gain by what they did? I really don't understand that and like you I have an extremely low tolerance level for drama.

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