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ArtsyGal

Children! What if you can't...

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Hello ladies!!!

I have just posted a male version of this question, but I would love to hear what us women have to say!

Ok, let's say the you and your future hubby are wanting to have kids, but you guys can not have children,

Would you adopt? Would you feel upset about not being able to carry a child? Or any other concerns or positives that I may have missed!

Love to hear what you have to say ladies!!

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I would be absolutely devastated if I found I couldn't have children as I have wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember.  I would take some time to come to terms with the news, and then proceed to go down the adoption route.  I would regret not having the experience of being pregnant etc. but would obviously love that child more than anything, even though he/she was not my biological child.

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I would definitely be upset, because I have always wanted to know how it is to have a tiny human growing inside of me. But I would also adopt. I see how much love people have for their non biological children and grandchildren, and I bwleive I have so much love to give as well.

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I would be very upset, but adoption is a great thing as well! I personally believe that every child deserves a loving home, and even when I get married I want to have children as well as adopt anyway.  :)

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I'm a dude, but if for one reason or another I couldn't make a baby with the girl I marry, adoption is just as viable an option.

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I am a guy but I would love to adopt one day.
HOWEVER
I do want my biological children
(even though your question did not say which partner is unable to reproduce or both)
If it was my wife that happened to be the infertile one then I would want us to get a surrogate mother of course. 

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Well everyone knows that it's the guys fault if us women can have children.... ;)

But honestly I would be hurt if I couldn't have children but I know I can (Praise Jesus!) and I would totally adopt. Even if I can have children I'll adopt but right after I have mine. I don't think I would use a surrogate unless it's a family member but even that's a bit iffy!

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Absolutely, I would adopt.  While I would be upset that I couldn't carry a baby of our own, there are many children out there that need parents and a home.  But ideally, my husband and I would both have our own biological children and adopt, maybe even have foster children as well.  

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I would be devastated if I couldn't have children " after all 5 or 6 kids won't just happen :P

 

 if that happened , I will consider it as a blessing to give all that Love in my heart  for my unborn angels to other children as much as I can ... help them , volunteer with them ...ect ... I will devote a huge part of my career for their sake " though I am planning to do that either way  " .

 

 about adoption ... it is a mutual decision , between me & my partner ...

 

but I think I wont go for  it ...  at least till now ,

it is a bit harsh & painful for me ..I would not  know how to deal with them , tell them they aren't mine & all but I love them the same,,,, what if that went wrong  & the hardest thing is to feel like you don't belong ...!!  ...

I dont know ...I wont think about it till it is time to think about it :) 

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Like others have said I would be upset. I do tell people that I don't want to have my own biological children if I get married, and a lot of the time that is how I feel but there is a really small part of me that wants to. Especially when I see mothers with their children. I would adopt/be a foster parent and I plan to do that even if I am able to have my own.

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Unfortunately, after my surgery for endometriosis my doctor told me that my chances of having children are lower than most, so I already know a little bit of what this feels like. I honestly always had in it my heart to adopt children, because there is so much suffering in the world, and I have so much love to give that I think it would be amazing to find a child and make sure their life is filled with laughter and warmth. However, since I found out ( had the surgery a year ago right before my eighteenth birthday) there's been more of a pull to have children of my own. I hope, I really truly hope, that if having biological children is something my husband dreams of, that I'll be able to give that gift. I also hope that if I can't, he'll love me just as much and we'll find a way to pour our love into a world in need. It would be incredible to have my own children, to have life inside of me and the joy of it all. But I also don't think that there's a limit to love, and that if I'm meant to have children I will. So for now I have to focus on my health and on my life, because I don't want to spend my days upset about a thing I can't change.

 

So that's just my perspective, as a woman who has already been informed that children might not be possible. Hopefully this helps answer your question a little!

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I'm a dude, but if for one reason or another I couldn't make a baby with the girl I marry, adoption is just as viable an option.

Don't mean to hi-jack or stick my nose, but I feel like I can add to this.

 

For a while, my family was a "foster to adopt" family. I just want to say that adoption can be a BEAUTIFUL thing. My parents adopted 2 girls, and we've had them both girls since birth (the girls have different sets of parents). I am not trying to say "Oh it's not a big deal, just adopt", but I will say that my sisters have been huge BLESSINGS. I can also say that they are loved as much, if not more, than every1 else in the family. 

 

There are a lot of stereotypes about adoption and believe me they're not true. My sisters don't feel left out. One of them is "mixed" and she is fine. Heck, we have pictures of their birth parents, we've shown it to them, and they don't even ask to see them.  They have always known they were adopted & they understand that they're parents couldn't keep them. They accept that. 

 

Just my 2 cents. Thnx for listening. 

 

Psst. There's a guy version of this thread over in "Ask the Guys" that's not getting much love.

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If I decided to have children later, then yeah, I would be kind of disappointed if I were infertile. Yet, I wouldn't get too sad about it because I am sure I can love an adopted child just as much as a biological one.

 

I sound like a horrible person for saying this, but I just don't like babies. I love toddlers and older children, though, so it would be a plus to be able to adopt an older kid and skip out on that phase.

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It would be a huge shock but I would definitely explore the options available to me. That is sperm donation if the problem was with my husband to IUI,IVF.......the whole nine.

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I first want to adopt anyway I don't want to carry a baby but of course if they tell me there is no possibilities anyway i will be disapointed  a little ...

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I don't really know how I will feel at this point because children is not something I see in my immediate future. I would like to continue the family line and take on the challenge of teaching someone all about life but recently I've also come to accept that it may not happen (if I don't find the right partner etc.) or I may just decide later that I don't want them (because it's not something I want to take on) A lot will depend on what happens to me in the next few years.  What kind of career I settle in, what my ambitions/priorities will be and of course what happens to me in terms of love  :wub:

 

If I were to decide I didn't really want kids, the news would not bother me at all (it would probably seem fated) However, if I had been married to the love of my life for several years and something was just "missing" naturally, I would be very sad at first because something I've dreamed about/hoped for will not happen to me  :(  But the thing is, like others have already said I have no problem with adopting and such.  When I really want something I go after it so I'd explore all other options.   I'd first see if IVF was possible at all since I think it would be an amazing experience being pregnant. However, that isn't as an amazing of an experience as giving unconditional love to a little person who needs it more than anything.  Adopted kids seem to fit that criterion perfectly  :)

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Oh I can't even explain how sad and disappointed I would be if I found out I couldn't have children. I love children so much and could not imagine not being able to have them. I've always wanted to have at least 2 of my own, but it all also will depend on what my husband wants. Pregnancy is kind of a big deal to me as well, actually I probably think about that more than I think about postpartum life with kids. lol So yes, I really want to be able to have that wonderful experience of being able to see and feel God's gift growing inside me. Also I've always wanted to find a creative way to surprise my husband about the pregnancy, not just TELL him that I'm pregnant. So yes, I REALLY hope I can have kids. Otherwise, I will do what I can to try to conceive, maybe even IVF. Otherwise I am definitely open to the idea of adopting :)

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If I found out I couldn't have children I would be heartbroken. I was born to be a mother - my first word was baby :) From the age of 4-5 years old I would write in my diaries about my future family and how I wanted lots of children.

 

But if I was unable to have biological children, that wouldn't stop me from having a family anyway :) I would mourn the fact that I would never be pregnant or give birth, but then I would look into adoption. I would be honoured to provide a family for children who don't have one.

 

In any case, my family is known to be particularly fertile, so I shouldn't have any problems conceiving :)

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Psst. There's a guy version of this thread over in "Ask the Guys" that's not getting much love.

Haha, that is why I made one for the guys :) but it is nice to have your input here too, thank-you :D

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I've always wanted to have children so it would upset me, but I've also wanted to adopt at least one child with special needs for as long as I can remember, so we'd probably foster and/or adopt.

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Well I would be disappointed because I would like at least one child to come from the womb but as an adopted child it would not be the end of the world for me. I have seen first hand how fulfilling adoption can be. I would feel guilt though If I were the one that was infertile. I would probably question why my husband wanted to be with me and if I had done something wrong. But if he was okay with it I would be too. There is more than one way to have a family in my opinion.

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If I couldnt have kids I would be devasted and totally heartbroken. My ambition is to get married and have kids (yeah I know it sounds pathetic and girly!!) and if I couldn't have kids...well.....

I would consider adopting - and hope my husband agrees...but I would miss the feeling of being pregnant....every time I see a pregnant wowman I'm just amazed at how fulfilled and happy they look and I want to have that experience too

 

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Id be...relieved I dont want to have biological children, id rather adopt.

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