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Tatyana

People that talk faaaaaar too much.

6 posts in this topic

Arrrgggggggggggggh! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I just wanna pull my hair out! I love my new job I get to travel work nights and meet new people almost every day.

BUT...

With me being an INTJ certain things can just be absolutely torturous.

I have a supervisor that must talk and talk and talk about anything! He even narrates himself at times. And he constantly repeats himself which is a pet peave of mine. I dont believe my time should be spent listening to someone talk mindlessly for long periods of time when I have work to do.

At first I was fine with it until he started to get personal, he would ask about my family and tell me I should do things for them etc. etc.(some of you already know that I dont have a very good relationship with my family) I was just nodding but he just kept talking about it and pushing asking how often we talk ect.

family is a bad word to me I dont like talking about it freely to just anyone, so thats what I told him. Maybe that was my mistake?? Because then he proceeded to tell me to justget over that and be thankful for them and he went on and on. Ugh

A few days later he asked me about my dad, big no no! He talked about how my relationship "should" be with my family, I dont like to be told what to do. Who does this guy think he is? he doesnt even know me.

(By this time i have not only been dealing with his personal questions but also months of his constant mindless chatter)

then the very next day Mr. "All knowing" decides to ask me another pointless family question. This time in front of other co workers and while I was in the middle of working. Im a very private person and at this point ive had it and decided to ignore him as I was trying to concentrate on more important things.

He kept repeating himself, and talking louder because I guess he thought I couldnt hear him. I was walking back n forth filing paperwork and finally snapped and said "I can hear you loud and clear I heard you the first time yep, I get, it I get it!"

Then one of my coworkers said "youre not even listening to him blah blah blah"

So I blurt out "trust me I heard him". When I walk back with my paperwork trying to take notes from my chief, he continued on and repeated himself AGAIN! (I thought i was in the twilight zone)

Thats when I cut him off and told him again that I already heard him, I really tried to be polite but this guy just doest know when to hush.

Then as I walked away I could hear him saying how he was just trying To help me and I could tell ive offended him. I really tried to be patient and polite but I couldn't take it anymore, I almost cried it was really that bad.Lol

so when I go into work tonight I wont be surprised if he continues to chat me to death, I would like some advice on how to deal with someone like this. I just want to get my work done without the constant babbling interruptions and silly questions. Ive completely run out of patience! help! what should I do?

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Being a fellow INTJ I understand your frustration.

Honestly I would just stay quiet and tune him out. When it gets really bad I tell people things like "I'm just not much of a talker so don't think its you". I told my roommate that and it made her hate me so I don't recommend saying that to someone you have to see everyday.

 

I guess the best thing you can do is tell him he's interfering with your work.

If it gets really bad you might have to mention it to a supervisor or have a meeting about it?

 

Is everyone else unbothered?

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Maybe tell him you aren't comfortable talking about your personal life with him...also try to bore him he may go away :)

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@sunny other people are much worse than I am, they simply walk away or talk to someone else passing by or blatantly ignore. I dont want to be rude all the time. I will try the stay quiet approach, id just hate to be rude.

@Egirly lol He is not good at listening, he is the type that wont let you get a word in and by the time he's done I feel exhausted, stressed and just shut down.

I will try these though and see how it goes tonight, thanks :)

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I tend to give people a generic, yes or no answer. Or to be as very vague as I can. They stop asking after a while. I don't like talking when I am working too, so I ignore them. If the want to talk, they can wait until I'm done with the customer.

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I talk too much (only when I'm talking to people one to one and people I like and trust), I don't mind people who talk a lot if they talk about interesting things, I like deep conversations. But this guy just sounds intrusive and annoying. You should tell him how you feel, tell him you don't need his opinion on personal matters concerning YOUR family. But also, don't tell him personal things like that, he can't give his opinion on personal things if you don't tell him, you're giving him the power to do it by sharing info just say "I'd rather not talk about it" if he asks about something you don't want to share, don't be made to feel you have to tell him.

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