costaa12

How many…?

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How many girlfriends/boyfriends you went out with, or just casually dated someone, until you knew you found the one? People always described it as "you just know" kind of feeling when you do meet the one, but what does that feeling actually feel like (if you can describe it the best way you can?) 

Just sort of curious :)

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I've never had a girlfriend before. But from what I hear, people know they've found the one when they can be themselves around the other person and don't have to act like someone else. They feel at peace in the relationship and don't feel any significant doubts about a future with the other person. Another thing that reaffirms the feeling is knowing that your significant other helps you become a better person

 

And of course, you know when it's the one when you have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself ;)

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I married my first boyfriend.

 

Even though I was totally down for making out with perfect strangers, I had very high standards for a relationship. I was also fairly content being single. Several people predicted that I would end up marrying my first boyfriend, only because they knew how picky I was.

 

So before my husband, I made out with 14 men and 4 women. My husband was my last first kiss. :)

 

I also went on exactly four first dates, one of which was with my husband. While I was interested in a second date with one of the other guys, our schedules didn't match up, and then I moved, so it just never happened. During the casual, non-exclusive dating phase with my husband, we had four official dates, and two other casual times seeing each other that were not dates. Then I moved, and neither of us wanted to be in a long-distance relationship, but it sorta happened by chance.

 

So I can tell you that I knew he might be the one because I was no longer interesting in making out with lots of people. I LOVED making out with lots of people. But suddenly I was in New York, a great place to be single, where I had intentions of dating women for the first time (I had only been out as bisexual for a few months), and I was more interested in staying home to IM, text, and skype with this guy far away.

 

We started talking marriage within two months of being exclusive, so we moved pretty fast. But when you know, you know! He proposed after almost exactly two years of being in an exclusive relationship, and now we're married!

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A big fat zero for all of the above.

 

I don't know if I believe in the "you just know" feeling. People also say that they didn't expect it. Like the people who have known each other for years prior and then end up falling in love.

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^ I don't think that would be me. What do they do, just not consider someone attractive for years, and then realize they're of the opposite gender? Not how I reason.

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^Not  exactly sure how that works myself, but people do change mentally and physically so maybe they'd have a change of heart later on down the road.

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Well, boyfriend and I aren't married yet, but I definitely had a strong feeling that we would end up together almost a year before he ever actually asked me out. I can't even say how or why I got that feeling -- one day I just looked up at him and the words "we're totally going to end up together one day" came into my head completely out of the blue.

 

Edit: Oh, and to answer the actual question -- we were each other's first ever date.

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I don't know if you ever "just know".  I believe you have to know what you want and what you don't want in a significant other(and sometimes that takes your entire 20s to figure out).  But I believe that when you are with "the one", the relationship is easy.  You can be yourself around them.  And you are both "ready" to move forward together (not bringing baggage and low self-esteem to the relationship). 

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I dated two girls in high school - one of whom I had a bad crush on, and one of whom liked me way more than i liked her.  In college, I had my first serious love (and she was open/suggesting we love our virginities together and then respected that i wasn't wanting that)...   it was an awful breakup (not about sex - it was a bad dynamic)...   then i dated someone who again was more into me than i was them (and that was an "easy" breakup in the sense that i knew it wasn't a true full match)...   she called me a prude bec i did not want to do much of anything (bec i didn't love her) even tho she wasn't trying for full sex...   then i dated someone casually...  and fell hard for someone who was taken... and then found my wife-to-be.  :-)

 

i answered this question broadly - meaning I really only consider that i had two "loves" before my wife - but you asked about GFs, and i would consider all of the others GFs although we were in varying stages of "love".

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and I knew with my wife early on that she was something special...   but did not say I love you for a while - being cautious about it and what it meant - and did not truly KNOW she was the one for a while after that...  she would tell you of course that she knew very quickly...   and then WAITED.   in literally all senses of the word haha.   she knew i would get there eventually :-)

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 Before I met my husband, I had dated one other person. But my relationship with my husband started out as a friendship. While we were friends, I briefly dated a few other guys and then when I realized I had feelings for him, I knew immediately that he was the one. It just all made sense. I knew when we started dating that he would be the one. I can’t describe why. I just knew, from our friendship, that we would be perfect and committed to each other from then on. Kind of magical I guess :)

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I had all stable relationships with no sex. One very short and two very long before I met my husband. My partings always seemed to have something to do with moving away to a diff state or country. But yeah, none of those men ever made me feel "high" in love like my husband. I never did drugs, but I think the weird sensation I got could pass as one. I felt like I was having a rebirth almost physically and floating every time I spoke to him. It all turned out to be mutual. He came only after I told myself I deserved the best. Things then weirdly started to unfold. I will still say the man who came before him still had a weird impact on me. Kinda hard to forget. But then again, I see this to be true only when the man is a virgin.

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