Guest TheWaitingGame

Not waiting on Purpose BUT

117 posts in this topic

.... To be honest... I wouldn't want to be the guy that just sleeps with a girl and just forgets about her. I would probably be like "wanna go *insert fun activity* some time" or maybe even make an amazing breakfast to share and talk profusely about various interests and aspirations and lifelong longings. Odd huh. And I value everyone especially women.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have so much to say about this, but for the sake of politeness I'll take the situation from the point of view of your future wife.

 

Wifey is a beautiful young lady who is also a virgin, and who disagrees with premarital sex (why else would she be waiting?). She is saving herself because she wants to give her special gift to a special person. One day, Wifey meets you and thinks you're a wonderful guy. She falls in love. But then Wifey finds out that although she is a virgin, you've been sleeping around for the last few years.

 

Wifey feels betrayed and hurt. Partly because you did something she disapproves of, but mostly because you apply different values to yourself and to her. You think that she should wait, but that it's okay if you don't. Wifey isn't very happy about that.

 

So she confronts you and asks you why you have different expectations for her as for yourself. What will you reply? "I wanted a waiter because it's so cute and adorable"? Do you think Wifey would still want to be your wife after that?

 

How would you feel if you were in her position? You should know the answer, since you have already been in a similar position.

 

My advice: if you value waiting until marriage so much, you should wait until marriage. Your values should line up with your behaviour, so either you need to accept your future wife might not be a virgin, or you need to re-evaluate your priorities and choose not to sleep around. For her sake. Because she will love you all the more for it.

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BelleFemme,
I do like your interpretation of Buble's song. I dont think I am a great person, good but not great. But I aspire to be great. I aspire to become an engineer and use my knowledge for the benefit of others. I aspire to help feed the needy and give them these hands for as long as I need. Whether I have a partner or not I will become great. I think I do have a big heart and just melt at Soldiers coming Home videos or Reading about Poverty contemplating how I can much the future a better world. I even worry myself sick thinking about how to improve our world. It feels like a duty I must take.

CrystalFaerie (Love the name, it has a sort of Greek-ness to it)
Idk what I would do in such a situation. I would apply different values through. I would value her more than myself and love her with todo mi corazon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Really? The only thing you got from my post was that you like my interpretation of Michael Buble's song?

 

I'm assuming English is not your first language, which is cool. If you need clarification on anything I said, I can use different vocabulary. But right  now, it sounds like you came to this forum for validation of your sexist actions, and you're ignoring all of us who are calling you out on it.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm on the train of people who thought you were a troll. 

It sounds like what you want is not "a virgin," so much as an honest woman. You want someone who will be open with her past, and isn't out there to hurt anyone. You also want to be this type of person, so that you can attract the female version of you. Women get taken advantage of all the time, and your story makes sense. There's a difference, though, between the type of woman who "strayed" because she wanted to, and the type of woman who was honestly misled. You just want a genuine person.  You don't want to become your ex.

If you limit your search to only virgins, maybe you'll find a woman who matches your list. But you might not be attracted to her. If you keep more of an open-mind, you'll be more open to good chemistry.

 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not a troll Bluey, that would be distasteful.
I know that if I limit my search I limit my options.
I know that if I "enjoy myself" with women yet want a pure and chaste spouse, then I am contradictory.
I know that I never want to feel those feelings.
I know that I shouldn't have had sex.
I know ALL these things.... 
Yet for some reason I still plan to follow through with what I said earlier...
I know that there might be an admirable, young woman out there waiting for me. Saving that precious heartof hers.
I know there might not be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that if I "enjoy myself" with women yet want a pure and chaste spouse, then I am contradictory a hypocritical misogynist who uses women for my own sexual gratification before discarding them.

Yet for some reason I still plan to follow through with what I said earlier... refuse to grow up or act like an adult, but still expect my future virginal wife to be forgiving and understanding enough that she overlooks my blatant hypocrisy and misogyny to marry me anyway.

 

 

Fixed it for ya!

10 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No. Just no.That's not it. Not at all. That's not me. I do appreciate your opinion though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol thanks for fixing me up but I hope I can find a girl on my own   :unsure:  :blush:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!! YOU MUST BE JOKING!! HOW SICK CAN YOU BE!? WHY WOULD ANY GIRL/WOMAN WANT A GUY WHO THINKS LIKE THAT!? THAT IS CHILDISH, IRRSPONSIBLE, AND IGNORANT! I CAN SEE IF YOU ALREDY GAVE IT UP AND REGRET IT AND ARE NOW IN WAITING BUT YOUR ON A WAITING SITE TELLING EVERYONE THAT YOU WILL NOT WAIT AND YOU ALREADY HAVENT AND YOU WANT TO TAKE A WOMANS VIRGINITY BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT IT IS "CUTE!" C.U.T.E!!!!!!! THERE IS NOTHING CUTE ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN! IT'S A BADGE OF HONOR! GOOD LORD! YOUR HEADING OFF TO COLLEGE SO I'M SURE YOU'RE JUST COMING OUT OF THE ADOLESENT STAGE OR MAYBE YOUR STILL IN IT BUT YOU NEED TO G.R.O.W UP! GOSH!

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I marry I do want a woman who is pure and chaste. Haha I want a waiter because that would be just so cute and adorable. :wub:  What do you think?

 

Stop being so patronising.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did not think that I was being patronizing, if I am, I am truly sorry. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do none of you really think I wont find someone with that certain "badge of honor" (as Jasmine23 refered to it as and now the way I from now on will refer to it as)? Really ? None of you? At all? I don't think my quest is delusional or crazy. I think it's 100% possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to emphasize something, here.

 

Let's not beat around the bush. 

 

PiscesGuy, do you make it crystal clear to these girl's you're having sex with that you would never marry them? If you don't, then you are using these girls.

 

If you give them any hope that there will be a solid relationship with them when you know there won't be, you're just intentionally deceiving them so you can have sex with them. Yes, this is using them. If you do this you are a user and a deceiver. 

 

Try to be objective.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do none of you really think I wont find someone with that certain "badge of honor" (as Jasmine23 refered to it as and now the way I from now on will refer to it as)? Really ? None of you? At all? I don't think my quest is delusional or crazy. I think it's 100% possible.

 

Truthfully, I think if you want to marry a waiter girl, you're going to find it extremely difficult to find one who will accept your cavalier attitude towards sex.

 

As many people have pointed out it's one thing to be a 'born-again' waiter, and make the decision with all of your heart to wait from this point onwards - this is admirable and shows a deep respect for both yourself and the woman you will eventually marry. It's quite another to be casually sleeping around with multiple women just to satisfy your desires and show no inclination whatsoever to honour your future wife by waiting for her.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come to the understanding that waiters(virgins) are fine with non waiters, moreso females than males. (I've asked Female Family members and friends and I asked them if they would be ok with a non waiter and they said yes) (Male waiter friends don't usually make a concession)

I shall wait for her when I encounter her and court/date her because I'll respect her decision wholeheartedly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come to the understanding that waiters(virgins) are fine with non waiters, moreso females than males. (I've asked Female Family members and friends and I asked them if they would be ok with a non waiter and they said yes) (Male waiter friends don't usually make a concession)

I shall wait for her when I encounter her and court/date her because I'll respect her decision wholeheartedly.

Lemme know how that works out for you (read: sarcasm)

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come to the understanding that waiters(virgins) are fine with non waiters, moreso females than males. (I've asked Female Family members and friends and I asked them if they would be ok with a non waiter and they said yes) (Male waiter friends don't usually make a concession)

I shall wait for her when I encounter her and court/date her because I'll respect her decision wholeheartedly.

 

I'm staggered that you have come to this conclusion, especially after reading the posts that have been made in this thread. If your female family members and friends really are fine with marrying a non-waiter who has every intention of sleeping around and sowing his wild oats without any thought for his future wife, then they are either selling themselves short or you have been less candid with them than you have been with us.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So if a man after a few years of frivolous doings comes to the realization that he had been wrong all this time and then changes his ways? Would you give him a chance 29K?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So if a man after a few years of frivolous doings comes to the realization that he had been wrong all this time and then changes his ways? Would you give him a chance 29K?

If they had truly committed to waiting and had turned their life around, then I would absolutely give them a chance. However, it seems like you intend to have your fun until you meet a girl with a 'badge of honour' and then have a fake epiphany that you want to wait in order to please the girl. This is extremely contrived and dishonest. The decision to wait should come from your heart and not be so calculated. 

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now