Guest TheWaitingGame

Not waiting on Purpose BUT

117 posts in this topic

Hey ladies. I want your honest outlook / opinion / perspective on this. 
Fairly young about to head off to college. I don't plan on waiting (I already haven't).
I plan on doing many things and experiences.... But... 
When I marry I do want a woman who is pure and chaste. Haha I want a waiter because that would be just so cute and adorable. :wub:  What do you think?
Thinking about marrying myself off to a girl / woman that hasn't waited makes me cringe...
Also women who wait are in my opinion the epitome of *insert word that reflects awesomeness and strength*. I know that it would be a deal breaker for me(been through it once).
I'm that hopeless romantic type of guy so I guess I just want all your love *blush*.
There you go so tell me your thoughts!  :blush:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You sound like a total hypocrite.

18 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im sorry im going to be quite honest here. So you expect a woman to be pure for you but she gets sloppy seconds? I think that thought process is hypocritical, silly and very selfish.

12 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok I am gonna play nice and not say what I truly think of you mate, but you are being a hypocrite and should reevaluate your thoughts. No women with any self respect would go near you and they would most likely think you are a pig.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it. It's fine for you to sleep around and 'have many experiences' but at the end of the day you want to marry a virgin? That's not being hopelessly romantic, it's just hypocritical.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Um...did you honestly believe you'd get positive feedback for having that outlook? If you did, then you are delusional.

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A non virgin has no right to expect another virgin, you can want one all day, but it couldn't be a requirement without you being hypocritical.

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yo se que quizas no sea justo pero
I have asked girls that do plan to wait til marriage if such a thing would bother them and most say no or say that they would even be happy to have an experienced partner... i dont know... maybe im wrong but.... I just feel that way...... Do feelings need justification? I dont know.
I really do appreciate the perspectives.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Requirement?
I think that of course no one has the right to requirement anything of anyone but we still deal breakers. We might compromise which of course isn't weak at all, a sign of strength even, but not compromising can be just as strong. If an amazing waiter girl decides not to  be with me then I'm out of luck. If I come across an amazing non-waiter and I don't compromise I'm out of luck. Maybe the odds are against me.  However I don't think will go such a way. I think I could definitely find an amazing waiter that'd be fine with me. (kind of did once).....
(MIke come to my rescue or something please!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm willing to marry a non-waiter, BUT I'm only willing to make this concession for non-waiters who never intended/envisioned waiting and/or marrying a waiter and then subsequently changed their mind, for one reason or another.  If, however, a person wants to marry a virgin from the outset (as in your case), then it's hypocritical for that person not to hold themselves to the same standard.  If you want to marry a virgin, then the least you can do at this point is to stop having sex too.  And if you refuse to stop having sex, then you have no business cringing at the thought of marrying a woman who's also had sex, because you're already in the same boat.

10 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we would hit it off. I am half woman, half Venus Fly Trap. After you get over the fact that sex with me isn't what you expected, I think you would find some quiet and reflective happiness. I want my man to have experience before it's too late we get married.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know its contradictory and maybe I of all people shouldn't be "wanting/hoping/waiting/praying" for a woman of such caliber but I do think of such things and think that being with such a woman "one day" would be....... awesome. The thought of such a woman making me wait for her... sounds....... amazing actually. 
I like to think of this sentence from a story I read (Young Goodman Brown)
"Well, she's a blessed angel on earth; and after this one night I'll cling to her skirts and follow her to heaven."
I think maybe such a person would make me better and to that I bid you to listen to
Michael Buble - "Haven't met you yet" ^_^
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to agree that it is hypocritical to sleep around not caring about it but at the same time cringe about not finding a virgin woman. BUT there is hope if you want it badly enough....... Many non waiters turn from their ways and commit to saving themselves for their future spouses. Only then can you expect a woman to do the same for you. Why want something from a woman that you are not willing to give to her?

 

 If an amazing waiter girl decides not to  be with me then I'm out of luck. If I come across an amazing non-waiter and I don't compromise I'm out of luck. Maybe the odds are against me.  

 

There is more to this than just mere luck. It requires that you will have to do something. In this case saving yourself for one and earning her respect.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I back-story would be proper. Hopefully to understand my feelings?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I back-story would be proper. Hopefully to understand my feelings?

 

I'm bored. Go for it.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think any woman waiter/ non-waiter  would be okay with a man who has no problem using women for his sexual pleasure then dumping them when he is all done with them like it's nothing. I could be wrong but I'm guessing the reason the thought of being with a non-waiter makes you cringe are things you've seen or done with other girls but you also have to remember that those girls you have no problem using...sorry 'experimenting' with will someday be someone's wife. So all I can tell you is grow up, learn to respect women, work on being the person you expect from your future spouse (don't wait for someone to come and change you otherwise that's not real) and think of what you can do for others for a change and not what they can do for you so that you can fulfill your dream of marrying a virgin. And frankly it seems like you are fetishizing virginity and and that's not what  waiting till marriage  is about.

13 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeh...that isn't cute at all..good luck finding a woman who is pure who wants a man who has knowingly been selfish and used many women before her.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey ladies. I want your honest outlook / opinion / perspective on this. 

Fairly young about to head off to college. I don't plan on waiting (I already haven't).

I plan on doing many things and experiences.... But... 

When I marry I do want a woman who is pure and chaste. Haha I want a waiter because that would be just so cute and adorable. :wub:  What do you think?

Thinking about marrying myself off to a girl / woman that hasn't waited makes me cringe...

Also women who wait are in my opinion the epitome of *insert word that reflects awesomeness and strength*. I know that it would be a deal breaker for me(been through it once).

I'm that hopeless romantic type of guy so I guess I just want all your love *blush*.

There you go so tell me your thoughts!  :blush:

At first I thought you were a troll, but it seems like you're serious. That's scary. I don't know why I'm surprised, I went to a big party school and have met plenty of guys with your mentality.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Use? I don't think I have the intention of using anyone.
(contemplating/wondering of what crosses the line as using someone)

But here's the back-story (albeit short)
There was once this girl and she took my interest. 1st real relationship ever, everything was new. I was innocent and inexperienced a virgin. Come to find she had been with 2 guys before me and I was mortified.... Then I just could not handle it. I never knew I could be so mean to a person....
The emotions I felt were the same as the ones in
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/the-7-emotions-you-feel-when-you-discover-your-partners-sexual-history/
(but I read it too late)
Anyways, I decided to do away with my chastity and maidenhead with the same girl. But due to "padres" we were torn asunder (for very good reasons I would say).
NEVER again would I want to be like that to such a person ever again. Never, NUNCA. Never want to feel those 7 emotions.
I just could not digest it so why try it again? So I have decided that perhaps I should just find a girl that waited because I find such a quality... admirable. I am serious.... Not trolling.... just dont want to feel that again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

no, its not that i dont want to... I REFUSE to feel those feelings again

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Use? I don't think I have the intention of using anyone.

(contemplating/wondering of what crosses the line as using someone)

 

Telling a girl what she wants to hear so that she will have sex with you. Having sex with a girl when you know the relationship won't last, but the girl is very hopeful it will. These are examples of using a girl. 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your desire to marry a virgin isn't the part that people are questioning. It's the ethics of actively seeking to marry a virgin and denying your future spouse the same opportunity (or similar opportunity, since you're not a virgin; still, there's a bit of a difference between having one sexual partner from a past relationship and sleeping around for fun). But it's hard to argue that you're acting unethically, as long as you're up front with all the girls you just want to have sex with about just wanting sex and with the girl you want to marry about your past and the lifestyle you chose. Or maybe it's easy and I just couldn't think of an argument.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of people have a thing for virgins. It's not surprising. However, when said person isn't holding up (or trying to hold up) their end of the bargain, it comes across as extremely selfish, and quite frankly, a bit disgusting.

 

That said, I have a hard time being too disgusted with someone who uses the words "maidenhead" and "asunder". Nicely done, sir.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You haven't really given any reasoning as to why you'd be desirable to the woman in question. I highly doubt you'll be able to get what you seek if you're completely honest and open with her, women don't like being treated like commodities. For that reason alone, I'm predicting serious trust issues in your relationship as time goes on. After all, you've already said here how little you value women. I personally would have serious doubts about your ability to keep your commitments or trust your spouse to uphold what you've already shown no regard for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey ladies. I want your honest outlook / opinion / perspective on this. 

Fairly young about to head off to college. I don't plan on waiting (I already haven't).

I plan on doing many things and experiences.... But... 

When I marry I do want a woman who is pure and chaste. Haha I want a waiter because that would be just so cute and adorable. :wub:  What do you think?

Thinking about marrying myself off to a girl / woman that hasn't waited makes me cringe...

Also women who wait are in my opinion the epitome of *insert word that reflects awesomeness and strength*. I know that it would be a deal breaker for me(been through it once).

I'm that hopeless romantic type of guy so I guess I just want all your love *blush*.

There you go so tell me your thoughts!  :blush:

 

You don't want to marry a woman who has an equivalent or comparable sexual history to your own. The idea of marrying the female version of you makes you cringe. And yet, you expect a female waiter to be totally accepting of your unapologetic sexual past?

 

Look, several of the members here have told me I'm one of the most liberal people on this site, probably because I don't think premarital sex is a sin. However, I do think you're perpetuating a sexist if not downright misogynistic double standard by having sex with women and then deciding they're no longer "marriage material" because they had sex with you.

 

Yo se que quizas no sea justo pero

I have asked girls that do plan to wait til marriage if such a thing would bother them and most say no or say that they would even be happy to have an experienced partner... i dont know... maybe im wrong but.... I just feel that way...... Do feelings need justification? I dont know.

I really do appreciate the perspectives.

 

Quite by luck and the grace of God, I fell in love with and married another waiter. I didn't think it was possible because prior to meeting him, the only waiters I knew had some pretty messed up ideas about gender roles. So yeah, if life had turned out differently, I could have married a nonvirgin, NBD.

 

The problem isn't that some virgins are cool marrying nonvirgins. The problem is your expectation that it's totally dandy for you to go off and sleep with whomever you want before you settle down with a virgin. Again, all these girls are okay for you to f**k, but not good enough to marry you. It's sexist hypocritical bullshit.

 

I know its contradictory and maybe I of all people shouldn't be "wanting/hoping/waiting/praying" for a woman of such caliber but I do think of such things and think that being with such a woman "one day" would be....... awesome. The thought of such a woman making me wait for her... sounds....... amazing actually. 

I like to think of this sentence from a story I read (Young Goodman Brown)

"Well, she's a blessed angel on earth; and after this one night I'll cling to her skirts and follow her to heaven."

I think maybe such a person would make me better and to that I bid you to listen to

Michael Buble - "Haven't met you yet" ^_^ 

 

But you're not waiting for her. That's the point. You want to continue having sex for funsies until you're ready to settle down with a woman who waited. You're not waiting for her. She's not making you wait for her.

 

And you're totally ruining Michael Buble's song. The point of his song is that he's already a great man, and he'd love to be a great significant other, but he just hasn't found the right woman yet. My husband was already a good person before I met him--I just helped him become a good boyfriend/fiancé/husband. A woman's job is not to save a man. A relationship based on the premise that the wife saves the husband from himself is flawed and unhealthy.

 

Use? I don't think I have the intention of using anyone.

(contemplating/wondering of what crosses the line as using someone)

But here's the back-story (albeit short)

There was once this girl and she took my interest. 1st real relationship ever, everything was new. I was innocent and inexperienced a virgin. Come to find she had been with 2 guys before me and I was mortified.... Then I just could not handle it. I never knew I could be so mean to a person....

The emotions I felt were the same as the ones in

http://waitingtillmarriage.org/the-7-emotions-you-feel-when-you-discover-your-partners-sexual-history/

(but I read it too late)

Anyways, I decided to do away with my chastity and maidenhead with the same girl. But due to "padres" we were torn asunder (for very good reasons I would say).

NEVER again would I want to be like that to such a person ever again. Never, NUNCA. Never want to feel those 7 emotions.

I just could not digest it so why try it again? So I have decided that perhaps I should just find a girl that waited because I find such a quality... admirable. I am serious.... Not trolling.... just dont want to feel that again.

 

I totally understand not wanting to feel that way again. SO WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF AND OTHER WOMEN THROUGH THIS?!?!

 

I love that this website chooses the term "waiters" instead of "virgins," because some people might have had sex in the past, but have now committed to waiting til marriage before having sex again. You can do this! You can make this decision! You can recognize that your sexual history does not define you today. You can realize that you made a mistake with that girl, and you can move on by not repeating your mistake.

 

But if you choose to keep having sex, while judging and shaming the women who have sex with you, then it's wrong, hypocritical, and sexist of you to expect to marry a waiter some day.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now