Faith

Marrying someone with a different Religion, Good or Bad?

83 posts in this topic

When they married, my parents were both Christians, though my father was Catholic and my mother was Protestant. Now, my father's more agnostic than anything, while my mother's beliefs haven't much changed. Still, their marriage is solid, and I've never been privy to any issues stemming from religious differences. Of course, such issues likely wouldn't been shown to a child, but I honestly don't think any really existed, as both are so openminded about allowing others to believe what they do with nothing but the utmost respect for their beliefs. 

 

The only real problem I have with their opposing beliefs is that it was very hard to understand as a young child. As I grew older, it was easy to understand the differences between their beliefs, and even find my own beliefs, but my first-grade self struggled with believing anything specific when I'd bounce from Catholic mass with my father's family one week to various denominations' services with my mother and her different family members. I just have one memory of answering a question in a religious ed class and being all proud of myself for knowing the answer, only to be told it was wrong, because I'd been thinking of a different denomination's teachings. Oops! 

 

That being said, as confusing as it was for a young kid to understand, I do think it exposed me in a very good way to various beliefs. I now am a member of the Unitarian Universalist church, but I have a great respect for all other faiths (or lack there of). Heck, I still attend services at various churches whenever I'm visiting family. Because of that, I don't think I would have a major issue with marrying someone of a different faith, so long as he could respect my beliefs as well. I wouldn't mind compromising on which services to attend at which location, and because of the openmindedness of Unitarian Universalism and the lack of a taught doctrine, I don't think it would confuse children nearly as much as my childhood confused me. I mean, I would love to marry someone who was a Unitarian Universalist as well, whatever his personal beliefs within that may be, but I certainly wouldn't be opposed to someone outside of the church.

 

Actually, I suppose it depends on what their beliefs are. I would not in any way be able to marry someone who is a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, for instance.

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It's probably for the best, though, since that experience taught me that interfaith relationships generally don't work out.  This is really hard to wrestle with, because there are women I could date who are atheists, agnostics, Muslims, Hindus, etc., but my conscience says no.  I'm not even sure if I could marry someone who wasn't an Eastern Orthodox Christian, because unless one of us is infertile, the issue of taking kids to a certain church and raising them in it is going to come up.  I can marry anyone who was baptized in the name of the Holy Trinity, but what difference does that make if the person you're marrying thinks your denomination is idol-worshipping or heretical? 

 

I think that would be wise. Even more immediate than which church to bring your kids up in is which church will you and your wife go to? I think it's really important for a couple to go to church together because it builds greater spiritual intimacy between them. I couldn't imagine going to church without my future wife with me. I would say it's best to find another Orthodox Christian. Even though all sects of Christianity (Catholicism, Protestantism, Orthodox) believe in the same core doctrines, there is still differences to cause a lot of problems. We can't just pretend those differences aren't there or don't matter. I am in the same boat as you. I don't think I could be with someone who wasn't a Protestant.

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I was raised baptist, but I'm probably more non-denominational as of now. Being a Christ follower is more important to me than religion. Sometimes religion can leave out Christ, which is my main concern. I'd rather my wife be protestant or non-denominational. I don't think I could marry a Catholic or a non-Christian, but I'd rather put it in the hands of God. Afterall, he knows me better than myself. 

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I was raised baptist, but I'm probably more non-denominational as of now. Being a Christ follower is more important to me than religion. Sometimes religion can leave out Christ, which is my main concern. I'd rather my wife be baptist, evangelist or non-denominational. I don't think I could marry a Catholic or a Protestant, but I'd rather put it in the hands of God. Afterall, he knows me better than myself. 

 

Technically Protestant just means not Catholic and not Orthodox. Protestants include Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, evangelicals, etc.

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Technically Protestant just means not Catholic and not Orthodox. Protestants include Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, evangelicals, etc.

 

Thank you, Belle Femme. I was going to say that Baptists and evangelicals are about as Protestant as you can get. lol

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Technically Protestant just means not Catholic and not Orthodox. Protestants include Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, evangelicals, etc.

 

Thank you, Belle Femme. I was going to say that Baptists and evangelicals are about as Protestant as you can get. lol

 

My understanding has always been that "Protestant" referred to denominations that began or resulted from the Protestant Reformation. I don't know about other denominations, but Independent Baptists believe themselves to be the closest modern church to the "New Testament Church" and to what Jesus intended (I know that sounds arrogant and fallacious, but if they didn't believe that about Independent Baptists, they'd probably find a different denomination to join). They also believe that the belief system and practices they follow have continued, uninterrupted and under various names, since the days of Jesus. As such, they don't believe their denomination to have separated from the Catholic church, but to have been there before it; and thus, not Protestant.

 

At least, that's what I remember from this one series of in-depth Sunday school lessons. I didn't do a lot of research on my own at the time due to laziness and fear of lack of evidence.

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My understanding has always been that "Protestant" referred to denominations that began or resulted from the Protestant Reformation. I don't know about other denominations, but Independent Baptists believe themselves to be the closest modern church to the "New Testament Church" and to what Jesus intended (I know that sounds arrogant and fallacious, but if they didn't believe that about Independent Baptists, they'd probably find a different denomination to join). They also believe that the belief system and practices they follow have continued, uninterrupted and under various names, since the days of Jesus. As such, they don't believe their denomination to have separated from the Catholic church, but to have been there before it; and thus, not Protestant.

 

At least, that's what I remember from this one series of in-depth Sunday school lessons. I didn't do a lot of research on my own at the time due to laziness and fear of lack of evidence.

 

I have never heard of Independent Baptists before, but a quick wikipedia search lists them as a sub-denomination under the overall grouping of Baptists.

 

Technically, Catholics, Orthodox Christians, and apparently now Independent Baptists ALL believe they have been the uninterrupted line straight from Jesus. As a Christian, I respect that stubborn belief, but as a historian, I just smile and nod. :)

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My understanding has always been that "Protestant" referred to denominations that began or resulted from the Protestant Reformation. I don't know about other denominations, but Independent Baptists believe themselves to be the closest modern church to the "New Testament Church" and to what Jesus intended (I know that sounds arrogant and fallacious, but if they didn't believe that about Independent Baptists, they'd probably find a different denomination to join). They also believe that the belief system and practices they follow have continued, uninterrupted and under various names, since the days of Jesus. As such, they don't believe their denomination to have separated from the Catholic church, but to have been there before it; and thus, not Protestant.

 

You're pretty much correct in your assessment, man. A Protestant group is any denomination that adheres to the basic tenants of the Reformation known as the "Five Solae." They are sola scriptura (scripture alone), sola gratia (grace alone), sola fide (faith alone), solus Christus (Christ alone), soli Deo gloria (glory to God alone). Regardless of when these "independent" Baptists denominations began, they still hold to the basic teachings of the Reformation, which in and of itself makes them Protestant.

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It's very bad. Imagine a devout Christian marries someone who is an Atheist. How will that work? It will be very stressful and burdensome to both beliefs because of the conflicts of their Faith or lack thereof. Marriage can have a lot of trials there is not need to add any extra if it can be avoided. I am not saying it's impossible but unlikely. With about 40% of married couples who marry with blended Faiths, look at the divorce rate.

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It's very bad. Imagine a devout Christian marries someone who is an Atheist. How will that work? It will be very stressful and burdensome to both beliefs because of the conflicts of their Faith or lack thereof. Marriage can have a lot of trials there is not need to add any extra if it can be avoided. I am not saying it's impossible but unlikely. With about 40% of married couples who marry with blended Faiths, look at the divorce rate.

 

It really depends on your particular theology if it's a problem. Not all Christians interpret scripture in exactly the same way. Everyone who has met my atheist husband, including my very religious parents, agree that we were meant for each other. Unfortunately, where I'm from, the Christian men I met either wanted a wife to be their inferior or insisted upon sex before marriage. Quite by chance, I fell in love with a Catholic-turned-atheist, and it's the best thing to ever happen to me.

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I'd be willing to marry someone who had a different religion or who didn't have a religion at all. There are some religions/subgroups that if he was one of them I probably wouldn't marry him. Not because of religion but because some of their other beliefs go against mine. The same is true of some other Christians though. I wouldn't be able to marry a Christian who was against gay marriage/thought it was a sin. (There are others that's just the main one I thought of.)

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My guess is that it depends on each person individually and if they can make it work and respect eachothers religion. Regarding if it is against their religion that's a totally different thing. I think it's possible but like any differences can have challenges and won't be the same for every couple. There are people who aren't Christian but agree with a lot of values, so I really think it depends on the people in the relationship and how they respect eachothers religion. So basically it can work but it might have it's difficulties( I am not talking about the bible or any religious text)

I have plenty of Christian friends and I'm in a relationship with a iChristian, but I'm not and we get along great, I even share a lot of values and morals but everyone's different. Good luck with trying to figure out what you want to follow and how.

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I hope I marry a Christian.  :) Fingers crossed.  Though, I support and have friends with all kinds of personal beliefs. :)

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It really depends on your particular theology if it's a problem. Not all Christians interpret scripture in exactly the same way. Everyone who has met my atheist husband, including my very religious parents, agree that we were meant for each other. Unfortunately, where I'm from, the Christian men I met either wanted a wife to be their inferior or insisted upon sex before marriage. Quite by chance, I fell in love with a Catholic-turned-atheist, and it's the best thing to ever happen to me.

 

Yes exactly my point. There are always exceptions to the rule but still doesn't make it the ideal partnership to pursue cus that may not be the case for everyone to take that risk. ;)

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I wouldn't marry someone from another religion, not even of another denomination. I wouldn't consider it the best for both of us. We would be "unequally yoked" so to speak. I look forward to a life partner who shares my spiritual interest and the way we will be able to (hopefully) promote each other's spiritual growth. Sharing a religion would greatly enable that activity. Of course if she was to change religions after marriage that wouldn't change anything about its validity. 

 

way to shrink the dating pool....

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From 2 Corinthians: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

 

It's a bad idea. It is going to be very hard to start a life together....have real "oneness" when on the most basic, foundational level you don't even agree but oppose one another. Then, if you have children, you'll each want to raise the child in each other's faith.

 

You're setting yourself up for a life full of strife.

 

For Christians, the bible direct warns against it.

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To the OP, it sounds like you need to get in the Bible personally and learn what God has said rather than listen to what people "tell you".

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I was told by a few different people that marrying outside of your Religion was okay as long as you respected your spouses Religion.

At the end it's your decision. I think it's ok. I'm very religious in all kind of ways except at this part. Main thing: monotheist and no cult or something hahah. Many people think, that religions are the reasons for wars. I wish all could unite and we would have less killing...then those not believers would have no reasons to say such cruel things. :0

What I want to mean, when we have to many groups of fanatic believers, it just can't end well...yea...piece.

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This is actually a good question to ask, but I can only answer for myself, hopefully by gathering the viewpoints of those on this forum you can come to a good conclusion yourself.

I feel that going with someone of a different religion can be either hit or miss depending on who the person is. If the person is a truth seeker and of similar personality as you as well as one with shared interests and you're not that ingrained into your religion then of course it can work. I've seen atheists and christians marry and stay married for long periods of time as well as people of different faiths so long as both spouses were open-minded.

Now as far as I'm concerned, I often find myself placing too much importance on certain beliefs and in things that sometimes don't matter in retrospect so I'd definitely have to marry another Seventh Day Adventist for it to have a chance. I can't marry anyone who is only half into God, or who can't question everything or isn't interested in finding the truth. Essentially I can't be with someone who isn't passionate about truth, I suppose truth is a form of religion for me.

Either way though, everyone is different. If you believe in Christianity and the Bible, the part about being equally yoked basically means to marry someone of the same level of beliefs, so if you believe in God but don't practice it and your spouse doesn't believe in God and doesn't care then it's likely you can both get along without any problems. The main issue is basically that neither does something that greatly offends the other and neither is arrogant about it or tries to control the other.

That's why you see marriages that aren't in the church work out.

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On 4/1/2014 at 1:51 AM, Guest Fear the King the Khan said:

 

I'd even marry with an atheïst, as long as she is faithful to me and waiting till marriage.

 

Love is not called love if religion comes in between.

 

Your name is usually a Muslim name. How can you marry an atheist?

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On ‎11‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 6:16 AM, Abdur Rehman Khan Durrani said:

Your name is usually a Muslim name. How can you marry an atheist?

Free Will.

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I m Muslim and I would really like to marry a christian guy ... Though most muslim Imams say it's forbidden but i don t care ! (it s just their interpretation of religion, i don't agree ). 

Ever since i joined this website i found out that christian guys are really nice , friendly and family-men ... 

Not to mention that we've got a lots of religious beliefes in common ... Loving Jesus and knowing him as a great prophet, believing in his miraculous born without father by virgin Mary and so on.... Well of course there are some differences but i personally don t care , as long as we both believe in one God ,and being a good human and loving each other :)

 

If we had children , i would teach them what is similar in both relegions :)) that there is one God and a life after death and pre marital sex is not good and blah blah ... And will let them choose their own religion when they reach 16 :)) they can become muslim , christian , budhhist or atheist ! 

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I think it is beautiful when people of different religions work out a way to be together. I know a woman who was raised as both muslim and catholic. She attended catholic school and study in mosque.

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On 2/4/2017 at 0:56 AM, rihhana said:

I m Muslim and I would really like to marry a christian guy ... Though most muslim Imams say it's forbidden but i don t care ! (it s just their interpretation of religion, i don't agree ). 

Ever since i joined this website i found out that christian guys are really nice , friendly and family-men ... 

Not to mention that we've got a lots of religious beliefes in common ... Loving Jesus and knowing him as a great prophet, believing in his miraculous born without father by virgin Mary and so on.... Well of course there are some differences but i personally don t care , as long as we both believe in one God ,and being a good human and loving each other :)

 

If we had children , i would teach them what is similar in both relegions :)) that there is one God and a life after death and pre marital sex is not good and blah blah ... And will let them choose their own religion when they reach 16 :)) they can become muslim , christian , budhhist or atheist ! 

Where did you get the Interpretation that Muslim girls can marry a Christian guy? The reason why Muslim men are allowed to marry chaste Jewesses and Christian girls is because a person will come to a Muslim family. So the newcomer will have more chances to convert to Islam. No! concept of god in Christianity and Islam isn't same though similar.

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