Jasmine23

Courting/Marrying outside of your ethnicity

35 posts in this topic

So my question is......

Is it weird that I really only have interest in Caucasian men?

Growing up if I talked to guys or even looked their way my attention would just focus on them. I've never been attracted to darker men and I feel bad because I've been called racist. I'm the only one in my family who feels this way all of my siblings are dating (not courting) or are married to African Americans. I'm rambling I know but I'm just confused on this! Please HELP!

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I've heard it said that there's no such thing as sexual racism (in this context). You're attracted to what you're attracted to and it's neither good nor bad.

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I've heard it said that there's no such thing as sexual racism (in this context). You're attracted to what you're attracted to and it's neither good nor bad.

Thank you!

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I personally don't think it matters what shade of skin you are interested in, we are all people, so what is the difference? I am attracted to darker guys like African Americans, Pakistanis, Egyptians, and other darker races, and I don't see a problem with that. I don't think that people should "Have" to marry within their own race because other people think it is wrong.

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As I have mentioned in previous posts, my friend is AA. He is dark skinned. God created with color and flavor... I am glad for it

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Hey, if The One has a different skin pigmentation than your own, so be it.

 

My Uncle, a Caucasian American, is currently married to an African woman from Mpumalanga, South Africa.

Granted, this is his 5th marriage, but I can only pray that this one stays.

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I don't think it is weird at all. I am black and I am attracted to Caucasian men. I was adopted from Haiti when I was three months old and both my parents and two of my siblings and most of my extended family are Caucasian so I guess you could say that is the skin tone I am used to. I don't think there is anything strange about it at all.

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I've read many case like that, but love doesn't have colour nor age or gender....people will always talk just don't worry about it and be with who you love

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It's not weird at all. You like what you like. if anyone has a problem with it that's THEIR problem, not yours.  

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Race is not important.  If someone thinks you're racist against your own race, it raises the question: why are they "racist" against OTHER races?

 

I personally never cared much for race, ethnicity, etc.  Some people are so proud to hail from where they do, even if they weren't born there themselves.  And it never made much sense to me.  I don't really care about race, especially not when it comes to romantic relationships.

 

That said, I am actually not typically attracted to other white girls the same way I am attracted to East Asian or African girls.  I don't know why, but I can relate. :)

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Race is not important.  If someone thinks you're racist against your own race, it raises the question: why are they "racist" against OTHER races?

 

 

 

I think there is a double standard with that statement. I saw a YOUTUBE video about this topic. Some of the commenters said if you only date your race, it is self-preservation, but if you date other races instead of your own it is fetishistic and racist. I don't believe it is racist to have a preference for certain skin colors. I am black, but I'm heavily attracted to Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, Brazilian and Pacific Islander girls, but I will date other races as well (including my own). No one has ever married outside our race in my family. It would be cool to shake things up a bit.

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I think there is a double standard with that statement. I saw a YOUTUBE video about this topic. Some of the commenters said if you only date your race, it is self-preservation, but if you date other races instead of your own it is fetishistic and racist. I don't believe it is racist to have a preference for certain skin colors. I am black, but I'm heavily attracted to Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, Brazilian and Pacific Islander girls, but I will date other races as well (including my own). No one has ever married outside our race in my family. It would be cool to shake things up a bit.

Oh, yeah, I know. I didn't mean that was a genuine good point to make, that's why I used quotation marks. ;)

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I like darker guys, sooooooooo..... I'm honestly pretty open, myself. I think a black guy with natural hair would be totes hot. I have this weird obsession with natural black hair. Usually lighter people like darker people, and vice versa.

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Hmm ive never understood this issue growing up, my family is very mixed. My dad was Caucasian so I never got the whole *gasp* "white man with little black and mixed child". I have pretty much everything in my family so ive never got the "obligation to one ethnic background" its all just very silly narrominded and pointless. People are people to me.

Everytime I hear someone or see posts like this I just SMH we're all people we just come in different flavors who cares. No one gets questioned about what flavor ice cream they do or dont like. Just love who you love and enjoy life

and also if folks would please not justify your reasons for liking or not liking a certain ethnic group. Not that anyone has done it here. But for some reason people feel the need to justify why they are attracted to people in a certain group. "Cause i grew up around blah blah in the suburbs" youre just feeding peoples ignorance, let them be close minded. What you like is what you like...think about it. When do we have to explain why we like men/women? we don't cause its just natural attraction.

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So my question is......

Is it weird that I really only have interest in Caucasian men?

Growing up if I talked to guys or even looked their way my attention would just focus on them. I've never been attracted to darker men and I feel bad because I've been called racist. I'm the only one in my family who feels this way all of my siblings are dating (not courting) or are married to African Americans. I'm rambling I know but I'm just confused on this! Please HELP!

 

of course not dear - you fancy who you fancy and that's youre right. Anyone who has a problem what that - it's ther problem actually

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Being Latin Caribbean myself (aka milk chocolate) I always found myself liking lighter girls.
Redheads, Latinas, blondes with green eyes.  :wub:  kryptonite <333.
Any color is fine really. ^_^ 
Nothing wrong with liking something else just never bash anyone and you're fine. xD

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I don't think it's wrong, but I wouldn't let preferences be your dictator in a relationship. I personally have no preferences with girls like that I've been interested in black girls, whit girls and attracted to every race pretty much.

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No, you are definitely not a racist.  I think this is a touchy subject especially within the context of the African-American community and people are all too eager to use that term. I have heard others make comments about the  importance of "staying with your own." However, at the end of the day, YOU are the only person that has to be in the relationship with your special someone...not anyone else. You preferring Caucasian men is no different than someone preferring a tall man or short man. Either way, you just want someone to love you for you.

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What a great topic! I've thought about this before and discussed it with a lot friends, mainly because A LOT of people experience this. You are perfectly normal. :) I used to worry about the same thing. I'm white, and the men I find attractive are, 99% of the time, just as white as me. Not only that, but (and this will sound silly) I get so hot for a guy of Scottish or Irish decent. Not racist! I have friends of all backgrounds and lifestyles and I love them all very much. I just can't help that the northern boys make me weak in the knees.

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I don't think you are crazy at all.

 

I can understand that, for some people, this is terribly important. In all likelihood because of the way they were raised. However, I don't think we can, necessarily, choose what we are physically attracted to. Or turned off by. Whether it's certain ethnicities, sizes, shapes, hair color, etc etc etc. I think the most important thing is to learn to be secure in who YOU are and what YOU want. So that, should the time come, you can stand up for what you want.

 

I, myself, do have certain physical traits that attract me, and ones that I don't like so much. For instance, even though I typically like tall men who have dark hair and dark eyes, I have been attracted to tall men with lighter hair, and shorter men with darker hair. One, in particular was a 'typical' asian man. (Whether it is true or not, I have grown up under the impression that the average asian man is not very tall.) What I am getting at is that we all have something that catches our attention more often than other things. Sometimes these things change for us. Sometimes they stay the same. We just have to learn to allow ourselves to accept ourselves for who we are at any given time.

 

Does any of this make sense? Hmm... I don't know, but that's my thoughts.

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I'm with the camp that has no real preference at all, when it comes to race/ethnicity.

I've found myself attracted to women from almost every ethnic background through traveling here and there.

Asian and Pacific Islanders,

Sub-Saharan Africans, European, Hispanic, Native American and many different subsets within these ethnicities.

Now preferences about her personality, character, lifestyle, choices, yup those matter a lot more to me.

But that's just one man's opinion!

The world is a really huge place and that being said, DNA is really fickle you know.

I've met an woman from Kenya while serving in the Peace Corps who was an albino.

She had the prettiest, coolest, clearest grayish eyes I've ever seen.

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I'm all for intercultural dating! In fact, I have never dated a man from my own country. My last long term relationship was with a Korean man and before that I had dated men from Brasil and Lebanon.

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I dont think physical attraction can be limited by race. It's just maybe that we've had many positive experiences with people of the opposite gender of that particular race that makes us think that we like them especially. 

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