virginprincessa16

Ever wish you were with someone else?

11 posts in this topic

So, I'm positive that you are in love with your spouse but do you ever wish that you could have been/could ever be sexually active with someone else? There's always this popular statement of "Ughhh you're only gonna sleep with one person your entire life!" Sometimes I'm scared that i'll regret waiting because I won't "be" with someone else ever again so every impression of sex will come from him, 

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That's a good question, VP16! The whole "You're gonna want to be with others." is a popular objection. Looking forward to hearing the answers! If they feel comfortable being candid about it haha.

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There's someone I'm interested in, but I feel like I'm getting to that part of the adult teenage life where I want to be wild and carefree and experience new things, flirt with men, all that. But I know in my experience, you usually want most what you can't have -- and sometimes when you get it it just isn't worth it.

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Absolutely not ever!  Our society tries to tell us that we are somehow "missing out" if we don't "test the waters" or "try on a pair of shoes to make sure they fit" (<-- yes, I have heard that exact phrase used as an argument against waiting),  it also tries to tell us that we'll regret waiting later, but I honestly can't imagine anything more wonderful and trust-building than waiting for that one person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with and only ever having sex with that one person.  My husband, Daniel and I both waited for each other, we have no regrets.  In fact, not only am I incredibly thankful that we both did wait, but I also firmly believe that my decision to wait for him was one of the best and most important decisions of my life.  

There was I time (as a teenager in particular) when I wondered the same things that VP16 and Cou are citing here, I remember wondering if I would regret the fact that my husband would be the only one I will have any sexual experience with or if I would be missing out on some sort of life experience or whatever.  

Here, on the other side of marriage, those worries seem quite silly to me.  The outpouring of mutual trust and assurance in each other that Daniel and I have as a result of waiting is overwhelmingly wonderful.  There is a security and a oneness here within our marriage that I don't think we would have (at least not to this degree) if we had not waited.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  

I wish you much luck in your wait, I know it seems long, I know it sometimes seems impossible, I know it's hard not to give in to the social pressures of our time, but I am here to say:  It is so. very. worth the wait.

--L.S.

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This makes me so glad to hear. I can't imagine being with anyone else but I am not married. I have also been afraid of my future husband having regrets about me.

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I'm going to try and write this in the most neutral, not "viewer discretion advised" way possible.

 

TL;DR No, I don't wish I were with someone else. No, I don't wish I had more partners before my husband.

 

ANY sexual activity requires a lot of communication and often a lot of time to get right. My husband and I both saved coitus for marriage, but chose to do other things before marriage. There is still bumbling around and trying new things and saying "Ow that hurts." It has nothing to do with either of us being "good" or "bad" in bed, but about becoming good together.

 

It takes work, no matter what your experience is with other people. You can have ten past sexual partners, but each person will have different wants and needs. You have to adjust what you do to make it comfortable for the other person. Again, this takes time and communication.

 

So why on Earth would I want to make all that effort with anyone else?! I love my husband, and I love all the fun stuff we do in bed, but I'm not going to lie and tell you that everything was perfect and orgasmic the first time without even talking about it. (Our first kiss was pretty magical and perfect and still gives me butterflies when I think about it). It would be a waste of time to do all of this over again with someone else (assuming tragedy doesn't strike and I become a young widow).

 

Yeah, I'm pretty  happy with only having one partner FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

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I'm the kind of person who could listen to one of my favourite albums over and over. Sometimes I get a bit tired of it or start noticing things wrong with it, but at the end of the day it's still my favourite and I'll still be listening to it forever [=

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I'm the kind of person who could listen to one of my favourite albums over and over. Sometimes I get a bit tired of it or start noticing things wrong with it, but at the end of the day it's still my favourite and I'll still be listening to it forever [=

 

extremely well said :-)   

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Let me give a very candid answer to this question.  My husband and I have talked about this and we have both admitted that there are moments where we have had the desire to be with someone else. 

 

No matter who you marry, he or she will not be perfect, they will not be the ideal and they will let you down.  I think going into marriage you need to have that fact clear in your head. 

 

But then you also need to go into marriage with the commitment that you are choosing your spouse.  A lot of wedding vows have the phrase "forsaking all others I take you to be my spouse."  I think for the most part, if you have chosen carefully and wisely then the "forsaking all others" part shouldn't be difficult.  But I do believe there will be moments when that commitment will be tested. 

 

Now I don't think I've had really strong desires to be with someone else but it feels a bit scary when I have had those thoughts.  It's usually when I meet a guy or see in one of my friends a quality that I wish my husband had.   But then when I honestly evaluate that guy I see that he is missing qualities that my husband has. 

 

But in my opinion, love is about faithfulness. It's about sticking by someone when it's difficult for you.  I think in those moments when you are tempted to think of someone else and then you make the conscious choice to stick with the one you've chosen that your love grows. 

 

I find it encouraging to know that though there are other guys out there who have much sexier bodies than I have, or are much more successful, or may understand tennis much better than I do (my husband loves tennis and I don't really follow it) or don't have the emotional hangups that I do, that even though these guys exist, my husband chooses to be with me.  And I make the same choice for him. 

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I'm the kind of person who could listen to one of my favourite albums over and over. Sometimes I get a bit tired of it or start noticing things wrong with it, but at the end of the day it's still my favourite and I'll still be listening to it forever [=

 

But don't you listen to other albums when you're bored with your favorite, or even when you're not? 

 

:superwaiter:

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