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Mike

What's your worst experience with sexism?

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Have you ever felt discriminated against for being female? What's the worst experience you can remember?

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Yes! The first one that comes to mind (and easiest to guess I'm sure) is when I've gone to a car place alone to get work done on my car. They always b.s. me and try to act like they are helping me when they are only trying to talk me into more stuff that I don't want to get done at the time, or don't really need. It makes me feel small and unintelligent when they do that. I'm pretty assertive and short with the guys there. I have double checked with me Dad before I decide for sure, and now I've become better at having a b.s. detector.  <_<

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So I like to shoot. It's something I've done my whole life. (The day I was born, my dad went out and bought me a high powered rifle :) ) And every single time I go to a gun show or even look/talk about one I am constantly taken as a joke. Every time it's "here's a pink one" and "I don't think you'll be able to handle it." It drives me up the wall! It's not even that big of a deal, but it happens constantly and I hate it!

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I usually just roll with the punches and humor men who do these sort of patronizing things like explaining to me what a screwdriver is.  There is actually good intentioned sexim.  Sometimes they are just making sterotypical assumptions and genuinly trying to help.  I cant remember a horridly degradding experience off the cuff.   I know its happened but I think I live a happier life by shrugging things off and moveing right along.  :)

 

I can remember a particularly insulting sunday school lesson taught by a man about how nievete girls are and how we need to be careful of men who want to take advantage of us and the big bad world etc. 

 

On a related note,  I think the church can be particulary destructive with some of their teachings on how women should view sex.  This whole big bad wolf mentality of 'if he wants sex then he doesnt really care about you' suggestion is incomplete and missleading.  Men are going to want sex.  Its normal.  How far things go is usually up to the woman.  A good man is not going to get pushy.  But advances are to be expected.  Handle them with confidence and take ownership of your own body.  You can say no as much as you want.  If he is whiney or frustraited, it doesnt make him evil.  Hormones make us all have impared judgement sometimes.

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Honestly, sexism can be so subtle yet so dangerous.  There was an unintentional sexist vibe in my own family growing up.  I got the message that men are doctors and women are nurses and not the other way around.  Men fix things and women wait until they do.  Consequently, I didn't know that I could accomplish anything I put my mind to, that I could be a doctor if I chose to, that I could fix things if someone showed me how.  I thought I had limits for a long, long time.  And that life gets better when prince charming comes into your life and rescues you.  Because of these messages, I didn't know my own power.  That I could rescue myself from a bad situation.  It's awesome when a guy is capable of rescuing you.  But not any man is worthy of that role.  Women are capable and are not helpless.  A man around makes things easier in some regards.  But a woman is not an incomplete human. 

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Well, my maternal grandfather showed very little interest when my mother had my sisters and I. But when his son had a baby boy years later, he was ecstatic and doted over that boy until the day my grandfather passed away. He never thought that a granddaughter would amount to anything and wanted a grandson to continue the family name. 

 

I'm not really upset over it. I'm just saddened that this kind of thinking happens. 

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Well, my maternal grandfather showed very little interest when my mother had my sisters and I. But when his son had a baby boy years later, he was ecstatic and doted over that boy until the day my grandfather passed away. He never thought that a granddaughter would amount to anything and wanted a grandson to continue the family name. 

 

I'm not really upset over it. I'm just saddened that this kind of thinking happens. 

 

 

I've experienced that same thing within my family, actually on both sides of my family - although in reverse on one side.  My father was supposed to have been a girl when he was born.  So even though I was a granddaughter, I was not as important as my female cousins brought into the world by my father's sisters.  

 

I do get patronized a little with my job, but I understand where they are coming from.  It's also nice to see that there are still chivalrous men in the world, mostly older, but chivalry is not completely dead.  I have to separate the kindness from the attitude that I don't know what I'm doing, not usually hard to do.  

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I do get patronized a little with my job, but I understand where they are coming from.  It's also nice to see that there are still chivalrous men in the world, mostly older, but chivalry is not completely dead.  I have to separate the kindness from the attitude that I don't know what I'm doing, not usually hard to do.  

What is your job?

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