How Did you Know That Your Spouse was "the one?"

[holdingtohope 546]

Hi.

I have a question-maybe it has been asked before-so feel free to delete it Sally if that is the case, but how did you KNOW that your spouse was the one? Had you fallen in love with others that you had previously dated before your spouse?

 

holdingtohope

 

PS I meant this to go in the ask a successful waiter section

[Matthew 2,546]

Moved!

[ian 1,728]

HTH - for me, it was one of those things that just sort of crept up on me.   no lightning bolt per se... just the very unconscious and then very conscious sense that i couldn't imagine her NOT being with me...   i didn't "look" for other girls...   she was the one i wanted to talk with first in the morning and the one with whom i wanted to share the most mundane of my daily doings not just the big stuff...   she was the one i wanted to watch television with, cook a meal with, sit on the couch and read books and not talk with, and say good night to before going to sleep.   

 

those seem like little things... but as you date...  no matter how short or long a time period...   there is that sense that grows in you of just how intertwined your life becomes with someone...  and one day I looked in the mirror in the middle of the night having gotten up to get some water... and i had awakened thinking of her...   and i looked at myself in the mirror... and I knew.

 

i knew it was time to get married :-).

 

i knew that all the intertwining i had done with her - emotionally not physically LOL - had us completed woven into each other's lives and hearts and futures.   my friends knew it LOOOONG before i knew it LOL - somewhere in one of the articles or interviews I have laughed that my best friend and roommate at the time was truly exasperated waiting for me to get on with it and propose!   and we had one of those late night heart to heart talks that best friends do, and he just pushed at it laughing at me about what was taking so long LOL.... (this was AFTER i already had had the mirror experience :-) )....   and i knew he was more than right...

 

because she was more than right for me.

 

so long story answer there - when the short form is...   seeing each other as The One - at least for me and my wife - was a simple act of watching each other become completely filled in each other's daily lives...   more than dating... just daily lives. :-)

[Sally 2,368]

HTH-Many things added up for me to realize that DD was "the one". One big thing was that my Dad was very sick for awhile-and DD was there with me through it all!! He would take my calls in the middle of the night, hold me while I cried when we were together, drive extra far just to be with my family and I at the hospital-NOT anyone's ideal way to spend a weekend, but he always did all that without complaint. 

 

DD and I are also very similar with some aspects of our personalities-I am an ISFJ, and he is an ISFP--so we relate really well on the I, S, and F parts and he lightens me up as he is more of a "go with the flow" kind of person, and I am more of a planner. I feel like I keep him grounded, and he makes me laugh and keeps things not so serious sometimes.  

 

We also share many morals and values that are SO nice to have someone else just "get" about you!! <3 

 

We didn't say "I love you" until we had been bf/gf for about 4 months, and we had been going on dates for 6/7 months. After that though, as our relationship grew, I realized more and more how much I couldn't stand being away from him. At first, we could go a few weeks, now even a week (weekend to weekend) can be hard!! He's the first person I want to call with good (or bad) news and the last person I want to talk to at night. (I know that is SUPER cheesy, but it's TRUE!!! )

[dodgedude 2,350]

I agree with really everything Sally said (I kinda have to now right? ) Haha JK!

 

But I do agree; we have very similar personalities that really go well together. They are very compatible. I feel like Sally just "gets" me and does so without any judgments or anything of that sort. We accept each other exactly how we are.

 

I can't really pinpoint one moment in time when I knew she was the "one"....To be honest I really didn't let myself think *too* much about it the first year we were dating. I'd never made it to the one year mark with any other gf's so initially that was my goal. Don't get too ahead of yourself...just try to make it a year first. Once we did that it was like uuhhh ok I really wanna start thinking about proposing to her!     It just felt right.

 

I feel like I can literally tell her anything/ talk to her abt anything. And I've never felt like that with anyone else (even friends/parents/brother/other gfs) I've also never been this attracted to someone else either...which makes it super awesome that we get along SO well together   

 

Also, the living in separate cities (well...States actually) is getting harder and harder to do. I can't wait for June 

[Joy Chuyaco 126]

These are all so sweet. Hope i can tell the same stories next time. Congratulations couples!!! God bless. You are all an inspiration to us singles here.  

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

Hmmm how did I know. Well honestly I didn't for a very long time. My husband ha well he knew within a very short amount of time. I knew probably only a few months before we got married. He had proposed to me early on and I had said yes but inside I wasn't ready at all. Well we broke up at one point and we didn't talk or anything for a month and then I realized during that time that I missed him and we got back together and he got us house and started working and saving so we could move in and get married and then I knew he was serious. That's all.

[Maryqueen 138]

HTH - for me, it was one of those things that just sort of crept up on me.   no lightning bolt per se... just the very unconscious and then very conscious sense that i couldn't imagine her NOT being with me...   i didn't "look" for other girls...   she was the one i wanted to talk with first in the morning and the one with whom i wanted to share the most mundane of my daily doings not just the big stuff...   she was the one i wanted to watch television with, cook a meal with, sit on the couch and read books and not talk with, and say good night to before going to sleep.   

 

 

 Sigh 

That's how exactly , I imagine the " ONE " ... woow Ian , it is beautiful 

 

 

and one day I looked in the mirror in the middle of the night having gotten up to get some water... and i had awakened thinking of her...   and i looked at myself in the mirror... and I knew.

 

i knew it was time to get married :-).

 

 

 

 This Must be a fairy tale  

[Belle Femme 1,244]

I was in love with my husband before he was even my boyfriend. We had gone on a few dates in person at the beginning, but then I moved pretty far away, and we didn't want to commit to long-distance.

 

Except we did anyway, without admitting it.

 

I realized I was in love with him probably a month before he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'd never felt that way before, and I'd had some pretty strong feelings for my best friend before.

 

We started discussing the future after we'd been "official" less than a month. And he mentioned marriage within a few weeks of our first exchange of "I love you."

 

We moved pretty fast, but honestly, I had never been interested in a boyfriend who wasn't marriage material. Which is how I married my first boyfriend. We met online, which helped weed out those incompatible things that normally you don't discover until you've know a person a few months.

 

I knew he was the One because I preferred skyping with him to just about anything else, including going into Manhattan (I was living in Westchester County at the time). I knew he was the One because I wanted to move closer to where he lived to be near him, after having lived in Le Vésinet and in Niort (both in France), in New York, and in Toronto. I knew he was the One because he was the only man I was interested in seeing naked. Quite honestly, before him, the thought of men unclothed below the waist grossed me out. I knew he was the One because he didn't freak out when I told him I had an anonymous blog!

 

If I had to choose a single defining moment, it would be the day we visited my college campus. We were back in town for my sorority sister's wedding, and I told him the story of their relationship and proposal. Their first kiss had been at this iconic place on campus where everyone says you'll get married if you kiss there. And then my friends got engaged there. So my then-boyfriend (of two months) insisted on going to this iconic place, and I didn't think anything of it because it is really beautiful and unusual. He pulled me directly under it, kissed me, and smiled at me, saying, "Now we'll just have to see if the legend is true." That's the day I knew I was going to marry him.