loyalhero90

So about this chivalry thing...

5 posts in this topic

Is it dead?

I was walking into my dorm and I was behind a really slow walking guy. He opens the door I wait a couple of seconds and he stands there for a second and I go through the door and say thank you to him. I get my key out to open the security access door and smile back at him since I got the new door without him having to open it. He had a really bad sneer across his face. I'm confused as to whether he wanted me to go through or not. And if he was angry that I went through. I'm confused do guys normally get angry at these things? Maybe I walked in too quickly? Am I missing something cause I generally open the door to many people and I thought opening doors was still in...but then again my school is in an area with a really different culture in regards to how men treat women. 

So is chivalry still around or not? 

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Hmm...it sounds to me like maybe he feels insulted or emasculated in the same way how some guys react when a girl offers to pay split or pay for the whole bill on a first date. If that is the case, then don't pay him any mind as he is just being dumb and immature. You offered to open the door out of genuine courtesy. there is no reason for him to act the way he did.

 

To be honest, there was a time when I stopped offering chivalrous acts because I often got the same reactions from women as the one you got from that guy. I used to think that women didn't appreciate stuff like that anymore and I was the one who was behind the times. But eventually I realized that I did what I did out of respect and anyone who doesn't appreciate that are the ones with the problem. I don't think I should stop doing what is right simply because people don't approve and neither should you.

 

Chivalry is not dead, but it is dying. I don't think we can really blame it all on perverted feminism as many are so fond of doing. It's probably a myriad of factors. But the fact that it many times gets looked upon with disgust or even confusion shows a fundamental flaw in our society. If we cannot perform a simple kind gesture for a fellow human being without being scowled upon or being accused of an ulterior motive then we are screwed. 

 

Both men and women should perform chivalrous acts, but I think it's especially important for men. Not because women are incapable of opening a door or carry her books by herself because she most certainly is. But most men are physically stronger than women, it's a simple biological fact. We see in our society many men who abuse their superior physical strength to oppress women and the helpless. When a man is offering to help a lady who is pregnant or an elderly person load groceries, he is not doing so because he thinks they are helpless. He's doing so because he wants to use his strength for good instead of bad.

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Hmm...it sounds to me like maybe he feels insulted or emasculated in the same way how some guys react when a girl offers to pay split or pay for the whole bill on a first date. If that is the case, then don't pay him any mind as he is just being dumb and immature. You offered to open the door out of genuine courtesy. there is no reason for him to act the way he did.

 

To be honest, there was a time when I stopped offering chivalrous acts because I often got the same reactions from women as the one you got from that guy. I used to think that women didn't appreciate stuff like that anymore and I was the one who was behind the times. But eventually I realized that I did what I did out of respect and anyone who doesn't appreciate that are the ones with the problem. I don't think I should stop doing what is right simply because people don't approve and neither should you.

 

Chivalry is not dead, but it is dying. I don't think we can really blame it all on perverted feminism as many are so fond of doing. It's probably a myriad of factors. But the fact that it many times gets looked upon with disgust or even confusion shows a fundamental flaw in our society. If we cannot perform a simple kind gesture for a fellow human being without being scowled upon or being accused of an ulterior motive then we are screwed. 

 

Both men and women should perform chivalrous acts, but I think it's especially important for men. Not because women are incapable of opening a door or carry her books by herself because she most certainly is. But most men are physically stronger than women, it's a simple biological fact. We see in our society many men who abuse their superior physical strength to oppress women and the helpless. When a man is offering to help a lady who is pregnant or an elderly person load groceries, he is not doing so because he thinks they are helpless. He's doing so because he wants to use his strength for good instead of bad.

Oh wait. He gave the sneer before I opened the door for him and after I walked in. He seemed more angry that I walked in and didn't intend to open the door for me like I assumed he did but I think your line works that he was prob just immature. But I agree with your post though. Both men and women should be chivalrous and not walk all over each other. I am one of those people who believe modern feminism has corroded a lot of things though lol especially making the lines between men and women on this subject really weird. But you are right that many factors are involved and maybe it is more of an overall moral decay than one factor. 

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I will offer to open a door for a man if he has his hands full, other than that I usually wait a couple seconds and assume he will it open it for me....Sadly, there have been a few times the door just closed in my face.

I try to be thoughtful

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Of course, I do believe women should do certain things, if she sees the opportunity. Like holding a door if a guy has a lot in his hands, stuff like that, it's just nice to do. However, things like a guy opening your car door, or giving you a hand to help you out of the car, or to step over something...these are things that fall under chivalry, I think. There are many many things, yes, but that's an example. The way I see it is that there are many nice, kind, generous, acts you can do for people. Chivalrous acts are acts, of those types, that a man might do for a woman, but would unlikely do for a buddy. For instance, he might hold open a door for a buddy, but he probably would not pull out a chair and help his buddy sit down before heading to his own seat at the table. Or, to the extreme like they did in the old day, stand when a woman leaves the table. Of course, I think that's just sweet, for some reason...I can't explain it, and it's not expected, but....anyway...

Is chivalry dead? I don't think it is. It just lies dormant, most of the time. It's sad, sure, but I think there are a couple of reasons...1. We, as women (overall, even though some of us don't feel this way), have gotten so hung up on the attitude that we can do everything ourselves that, somehow, a man acting like a gentleman has become taboo for guys. They feel like they're going to make us angry, or feel like we are less than them. 2. It's a yin/yang thing...in order for 'gentleman' to do what they do, 'Ladies' must exist, and vice versa. As a whole, both genders are failing at this, and in the future it may be nonexistent.

A true gentleman will do some things that are kind of generally acceptable by everyone...holding doors, etc. Unfortunately, even the true gentlemen, in today's world, must observe individual situations and women to see how receptive his actions will be taken. Personally, I feel bad for men because they might really want to be a true gentleman but they never know when they're going to offend someone. They don't mean to make us feel inferior, yet a lot of women have come to see it this way. In reality, a man shows his true character and how much he adores women (or a specific woman) when he does certain things. I think a real man yearns to, and strives to, protect women. When he's not able to, or not allowed to, he becomes complacent in the world.

Chivalrous acts do not demean us, they elevate us. Not that we are better than man, but the intention of these acts is to make us feel loved, cared for, and protected...and, contrary to what extreme feminism would have us believe, THAT IS OK. Now, I can see being offended if he does these things, but then proceeds to talk down to the woman, making her feel like she can't be intelligent because she's female, but I think that's rare.

I feel like I may have gone a little off topic...maybe not. Anyway...

sorry...just realized this was to the guys...

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