Sophie

Ideally, at what age do you want to start having children?

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Ideally, I want to start having children at the minimum age of 25 and the maximum age of 30. I would prefer to start at age 27. I don't mind having kids after age 30, as long as I have had at least one kid before.

I am posting something I already said in a poll thread that I put up on asking people what their ideal age to get married at was. So this is my reason why I want to start a family so young:

I was adopted by two wonderful people who were 44 and 45 when they adopted me. As awesome as my parents are (sometimes,) their older age has really hindered me from enjoying what I could have with them. My parents are now in their early-sixites and I am only 18! My mom has such a bad body (her back, her feet, etc,) and my dad recently got lukemia. I want to be a young parent for my children. My Grannie is 97, so my 62-year-old mom still has her mother. My Dad only lost his mother two and a half years ago. She was 92. They lost their fathers due to cancer and a horrible accident. There is no way I will have my parents past the age of 40. My Dad has lukemia so I doubt he will make it to his nineties...or maybe even eighties. And my mom does not have good genetics on her side - like her father, she is beginning to break down at a too-early age. She won't make it to 90 for sure. Her father was doing terribly even at age 77, and my mom seems to have gotten his genes. So...before I am 40, a may have already lost one parent to old age or cancer (lukemia.)

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Ideally like 24-25 get married spend another 4-5 years just me and the wifey, building our bond (us time) and maybe kids around 30

once were ready to settle down and build a family :rolleyes:

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Ok, so I'm 29. So, I've obviously missed most of the age brackets up here. Lol. So, it'll have to be over 40, just to get married, if that. I don't even know about kids cuz I'm not really diggin the whole "fighting teenage rebellion in my 50s." Although, my mother is praying that will change cuz she wants grandkids, & she's not shy about voicing her desires or opinions in the marriage & kids department, as pertaining to my personal life choices, when she calls me. I love her & would give her the moon, but I ain't trying to give her no babies.

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I would love to start having children before I'm 30 ideally so I still have loads of energy to run around and climb trees with them and play in the park with them, take them out to explore the woods, the moors, the beaches etc, picking edible berries (blackberries, wild raspberries, wild strawberries, sloes, elderberries etc) then cooking desserts, jellies, jams etc with them, well with whats left lol

I guess the reason I want it to be sooner rather than later is because I don't want to get home from work and be too tired to do things with my children, I don't want to relax at the weekends that, to me, is family time, time to spend together as a family and have fun as a family. I never want to say to my children not at the moment, I'm too tired, maybe another day, I want to enjoy spending time with them, teaching them, and sharing in all of their new experiences and I personally think I would be better at doing that if I was younger rather than older.

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Well I'm 24 now...I would say even if I were to wind up married in the next few years I would still wanna wait till I'm at least 30. I want some time for my future wife and I to have fun together and do things and not have the responsibility of kids. I do really want kids...but just not right away. B)

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Ideally like 24-25 get married spend another 4-5 years just me and the wifey, building our bond (us time) and maybe kids around 30

once were ready to settle down and build a family :rolleyes:

mhm precisely what I want too

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dang! as im on here more and more, i think im behind maturity wise...cause seriously I dont think about this stuff :o

Nah, don't even worry about it! ;) I'm 25 and I never think about having kids. I don't have any strong desire to have them, so I probably won't. I might like to adopt, though, and give a new life the chance it never had, depending on how life plays itself out, but that's not set in stone. We're all different and we all have different priorities-- Just because you don't think about this stuff doesn't make you more or less mature... You're just more focused on other things! :)

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well... i was 26 when i married and 29 with first daughter... but I also know plenty who had first kid young (23-24)... and first kid at 40. and as much as we loved our 3 years where it was just me/my wife... neither one of us can think about life without the kids around... it will be a strange day somewhere in the future when it's just us again... and then we will barely remember having had them around LOL :-)

I would only say that God gives you children when He thinks you're ready - i don't mean mature enough or "ready" - I mean when it's your time to have your kids :-) and it will be terrific when that happens. Those kids may come to you in the form of babies... or wonderful children who come into your life adopted by you and your spouse... and sometimes children come in the form of nieces and nephews and next door neighbors and children you volunteer with and children you teach.

Having time where it's just the two of you is super important and super great - but the funny thing about pregnancies... (or adoptions)... is that you don't REALLLLLY get to control them... kinda yes... but not 100% heehee.

I didn't think we had our kids young (29), but these days most people seem kind of astounded that I have a daughter in college (i hope that's not ego talking) - so I would just tell you that if you're fortunate enough to marry on the younger side... don't wait too long... it's nice being a "younger" dad even at this age :-) and if you're fortunate enough to marry in your 30s when you're actually a grown-up or your 40s when you finally have your act fully together LOL... then kids will be a completely natural wonderful step as soon as they come.

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Like a lot of you have said, I want to have time for my husband and I. It depends entirely on when I get married because, if it's before or around 25, I'd want to have them around 30, and if I get married later than that [which I'm hoping I don't get married later than that :/ ] then it'll be whenever I get pregnant because the women in my family have had really bad issues with their biological time clock ticking really fast and I can't be childless!

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I was married at 21 and my son was born when I was 22. Both my children were concieved on the pill and with a condom. So I always saw it as God giving us children despite my/our plans. It forced me to grow up. It was really hard. I was discharged from the Army at 24 for a back injury and had no civilian skills. I had to move back in with my parents and spent alot of time away from home doing anything I could to make a living for my family, while securing routes for a better living for my family. There are blessings in having kids early though.

I am still not mature enough where I get excited to dump out the lego bucket on the floor and play with my son. But mature enough I am not ashamed to put on the purple tu-tu for my daughter's tea party. Both know 2 sets of great granparents (one in their 80s and one set in their 70s). I will only be 42 when both my kids are in college. My son wants to go to MIT to become a molecular biologist and my daughter wants to go to Juliard to study Cello. So I will still be young enough I will be able to work and help em with their tuition.

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CFox's post actually makes me want to offer an additional YES to all that... I - like many of you - was a bit of a planner/controller I guess about my life and lifestyle and activities before married... you choose whom to date, when to date, how you're going to go out with her/him, how far you're going to go, what you want to do for work or when you're married or whatever else. Planning.

And yet... CFox's post is a sledgehammer reminder to us all - even me today - that as much as we want to control, like to control, think we control... we don't :-). Doesn't matter where you are on the religion and faith scale, I guarantee that you can plan, but flexibility is an underestimated critical value! and dealing in the moment. And introducing new and additional special people into the equation means there's even great chance "stuff" will happen - good and bad, fortunate and unfortunate - when you date, and when you close, and when you marry, you learn to tackle stuff in the moment, grounded on all those important values, decisions and internal commitments you make.

I am not mature enough either to not do all the stuff CFox mentions. I have read thousands of silly books in silly voices and I have had my nails painted by my daughters and my hair (then longer) braided. And today, one is in college and one is about to go to college and they will vastly surpass my wildest dreams and expectations of them.

Was I ready for them at 29? Was CFox read for his at 22? No. We never are "ready." Even at 42. But... in the moment... you very much will become ready for them... as an individual if you are a single parent, and as a couple if you are married or in a relationship. sometimes... "stuff" happens... but I guess i'm a firm believer it's for a reason... it's up to each of us to make the most of it when the time does come... sooner than you thought, right when you "planned" or later than you initially hoped. :-)

Kids are... kids. And you will be a kid again with them. good stuff.

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i would be happy at this point personally if i would still have that opportunity at marriage---i think personally even though i would love time with my husband, i would go for trying to conceive right away.

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I am still not mature enough where I get excited to dump out the lego bucket on the floor and play with my son. But mature enough I am not ashamed to put on the purple tu-tu for my daughter's tea party.

Too much cuteness! xD That is how I want to be with my children and I'm not going to lie- I hope they are gamers like I am!

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Too much cuteness! xD That is how I want to be with my children and I'm not going to lie- I hope they are gamers like I am!

OMG zelda my kids are totally gamers. My office has 3 computers in there so we can all nerd out together. Just found this gem that is a starship bridge simulation. Each computer is a different station on a star ship. My daughter is always the captain because she is the bossiest.

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OMG zelda my kids are totally gamers. My office has 3 computers in there so we can all nerd out together. Just found this gem that is a starship bridge simulation. Each computer is a different station on a star ship. My daughter is always the captain because she is the bossiest.

You win at life- you have given the world another girl gamer! And I bet the one that wears the tutu will have the most head shots <3

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OMG zelda my kids are totally gamers. My office has 3 computers in there so we can all nerd out together. Just found this gem that is a starship bridge simulation. Each computer is a different station on a star ship. My daughter is always the captain because she is the bossiest.

 

Hope my kids will be like that. :)

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I would only say that God gives you children when He thinks you're ready - i don't mean mature enough or "ready" - I mean when it's your time to have your kids :-) and it will be terrific when that happens........and if you're fortunate enough to marry in your 30s when you're actually a grown-ustp or your 40s when you finally have your act fully together LOL... then kids will be a completely natural wonderful step as soon as they come.

I couldn't agree with you MORE Ian!!! That's just how I feel!!! I'm in that 40's category (43)....God always knows when is the PERFECT time for EVERYTHING!!! :-)

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i want to get married and pregnant when im done with college.

Good luck with college and hope you do find that noble man you are looking for.

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There's a similar topic I've responded to, as I've said before, late 20's, no earlier since I will not get married before 21.

Forgot to add if I have them, I don't really want them.

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I don't want children. If I were to have them because my wife really, really wants them, it would depend largely on our financial situation.

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