Mike

How did your non-waiter partner react to your waiting?

4 posts in this topic

Asked by Jordan...

 

Some of you married non-waiters. How did they react to your waiting? Did they consider it to be a minor inconvenience that they simply came to accept in time? Or did they want to wait until marriage too? And if the former, how did you persuade them to wait?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I laughed at your "minor inconvenience" option of how did she (and I) consider it LOL.

 

So yes i married a woman who was not a virgin but who waited with me.  Happily.  I say happily because it was part of OUR relationship and part of OUR dynamic.   But i do NOT say happily for how it felt during all the time of waiting!! 

 

I didn't actively say "I'm waiting til marriage" - in fact i never said that phrase.  We both spoke of past boyfriends and girlfriends describing the small number of those we had been in relationships with and how important/special it was to really be in love with someone.  She knew i was VERY deliberate about kissing and making out with a girl - it had to be truly someone important/special - and she went to great lengths to say she was that way too... regretted a decision in the past obviously...  and was all about whatever lines we wanted to agree to and draw for being with each other.  I never had to "persuade" her - it was so mutually desired and understood that it was simply never a "persuasion" - it was always a "preference" for both of us.

 

Having said that - i would be completely false if i led any of you to believe it was a breeze.  Because it wasn't.

 

The hardest part - and the "inconvenience" - was when we got engaged.   It was UNBELIEVABLY frustrating to not advance further.  We were fully committed to getting married - we were planning where we would live, how we would move things together, all the things of a couple.  We spent the night regularly with each other.   And it wasn't just being in the bed together that made it frustrating - it was knowing that we were together by all rights and in our hearts, we were together forever and ever...   but we just hadn't gone through the ceremony part and before-God said our vows... which as you all know you can literally do at any time...

 

THAT was when "waiting" became very inconvenient LOL.   We were ready.   We were very ready to be fully a couple forever and ever... and yet still waiting.  "inconvenience"... absolutely LOL.   "respectfully" and "purposefully chosen"... absolutely as well.   "regretted waiting"?  absolutely not.   

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I married a non-waiter. When I first told him, he wasn't very surprised and accepted it right away, which surprised me. I fully expected him to run in the other direction, but he didn't. Further on into our relationship, he explained that he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and if that meant waiting for me for years, then it was 100% worth it to him. The "sacrifice" of giving up sex until I was ready wasn't really a sacrifice for him at all, because he knew we had a whole lifetime together to have as much sex as we wanted. 

11 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^^^^^^^^^ This! Exactly! This is what I want and Jennifer's post is exactly how I'm hoping things will play out for me. I always say that I don't care whether the guy I end up marrying didn't wait for me, but he has to be willing to wait WITH me. And I always say that exact line about how it shouldn't matter if we have to wait a couple years to have sex when we'll have the rest of our lives together to have it any time we want.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now