Mike

How much did you discuss sex prior to marriage?

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Asked by WanderingWashingtonian...

 

How much did you two discuss sexual matters prior to marriage, and if you had it to do over again, what more do you wish you would have discussed prior to your wedding night?

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so the silly/not-silly answer is:  we talked about it every date past the third date!

 

we kissed a little on date 1.

we made out on date 2.

and on date 3.... we began talking about sex... not bec we "would have had sex" on date 3... but because we were clearly beginning to "date" not just "hang out"..

and so we began to talk about sex not just boyfriends and girlfriends.

it was slow at first of course...   it took us many more dates to get through most of the core what have you done what haven't you done OMG you did that etc etc.

and then the transitions to is this too far? is this ok? i really want to do that etc etc.

literlaly though... from date 3...   til our wedding day ....   that's how long we talked about sex.... before we got to have sex....

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by the way... talking about it.... talking about it all the time ... was good for us.   it kept the dialogue real, alive and consistent.   it meant we stayed on track aobut it... we didn't avoid it, we didn't shy away from it, we didn't bury it.   we talked about it a lot and it helped us stay with what we wanted to do.... and of course to build anticipation to the eventual time when no more talk, all action.

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I don't really think there's anything I'd change if I could, we chatted extremely openly and honestly. From basically the day we met we clicked and knew we wanted to get married, so it was natural to talk about it very early. We were open about our past struggles with things (such as porn and masturbation), and also freely talked about what we expected from each other. It'll set you up, and if you're too awkward to talk about it, you're gonna be behind the 8-ball when the times comes to get naked.

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My husband and I talked about sex a fair amount before getting married.  I think it's really important to talk about sex.  You learn a lot about your expectations and you learn a lot about your sexual compatibility.  There's a lot that you can learn about each other as you share your opinions and ideas about sex, even if neither of you has actually had sex before. 

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