GoingToMakeIt

Why should a female non-waiter respect a male waiter? What's admirable about it to her?

6 posts in this topic

Society at large, at least here in the USA, doesn't really promote waiting anymore.  Abstinence is generally seen as being old-fashioned and relegated only to those who are extremely religious or prudish or those who cannot find willing partners.  There are studies around about how a large portion of women admitted that they would wonder if something was wrong with a man who was still a virgin past the age of 25 or so.  Given all of that, I don't really see why a female non-waiter should respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable.  It's a conversation that's come up for me more frequently lately for various reasons and I've been absolutely shocked to have my abstinence met with great respect and admiration by non-waiting females (side note: I actually am not regularly around any female waiters).  I can certainly see the appeal of an abstinent man to a female who is also abstinent, but I cannot at all understand why a man's abstinence is respectable to a non-waiting female (assuming there's no element of the female wanting to be the male's first time, which doesn't seem to be the case in my interactions).  Maybe you all can help me understand this?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Given all of that, I don't really see why a female waiter should respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable.  It's a conversation that's come up for me more frequently lately for various reasons and I've been absolutely shocked to have my abstinence met with great respect and admiration by non-waiting females (side note: I actually am not regularly around any female waiters).  I can certainly see the appeal of an abstinent man to a female who is also abstinent, but I cannot at all understand why a man's abstinence is respectable to a non-waiting female (assuming there's no element of the female wanting to be the male's first time, which doesn't seem to be the case in my interactions).  Maybe you all can help me understand this?

 

Um...I think you mean to ask why a female NON-waiter would respect a male waiter.  :P

 

I think on some level most girls out there, even those who didn't wait, has wanted to wait at some point in their lives. The problem could be that many have become disillusioned with society and are made to believe that no guy would love her if she didn't put out first. They have this "if you can't beat em, join em" type of mentality.. So when they meet a guy who is waiting, they become pleasantly surprised because they were made to believe that guys were incapable of waiting. But by then, it's already too late and the girl has already gave away her virginity. It's possible that many of them regret giving in when they realize that there are guys out there who will wait.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Virtuous people pursue virtuous people...and for the not so virtuous, well...you get the idea.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Society at large, at least here in the USA, doesn't really promote waiting anymore.  Abstinence is generally seen as being old-fashioned and relegated only to those who are extremely religious or prudish or those who cannot find willing partners.  There are studies around about how a large portion of women admitted that they would wonder if something was wrong with a man who was still a virgin past the age of 25 or so.  Given all of that, I don't really see why a female non-waiter should respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable.  It's a conversation that's come up for me more frequently lately for various reasons and I've been absolutely shocked to have my abstinence met with great respect and admiration by non-waiting females (side note: I actually am not regularly around any female waiters).  I can certainly see the appeal of an abstinent man to a female who is also abstinent, but I cannot at all understand why a man's abstinence is respectable to a non-waiting female (assuming there's no element of the female wanting to be the male's first time, which doesn't seem to be the case in my interactions).  Maybe you all can help me understand this?

You are absolutely right in saying society at large doesn't promote waiting anymore.  And from THAT cultural perspective, a woman would indeed question why a man was still a virgin after 25.  What they don't realize is being a virgin after 25 as a waiter is a CHOICE, not the fact that he can't get a girlfriend.  Two VERY different reasons to be a virgin after 25.

In your post you question why your nonwaiting female friends have met you with "great respect and admiration" when you state your abstinence.  Why wouldn't a nonwaiting-female respect a man's abstinence?  Maybe they are nonwaiters simply because of society's pressures and didn't know waiting was for them as well.  But from afar, they find waiting a noble concept. 

Really though, nonwaiting guys can talk pretty loud and they are drowning out the waiters voices.  Maybe some of the nonwaiting females truly had limited information when they chose to not wait.  There are plenty of nonvirgin women who would be fine with being someone's first. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Basically, because a lot of women, especially, don't really feel comfortable with the "hook up culture" and actually have regrets about things they have done. There was a book written on it that I read about, but I can't remember what it was, but it may be one of the books listed on this website somewhere. It shows a lot of character.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The argument that a female non-waiter shouldn't respect a male waiter is not a good one. If abstinence is a generally seen as old fashioned, it is not the case that those who practice it are extremely religious, prudish, or unable to find willing partners. It is sometimes the case that those who practice it are non-religious, and/or have normal sex drives and appetites. Evidence for this premise comes from this website. Thus, the conclusion that a female non-waiter shouldn't respect a male waiter or find his abstinence admirable is not true.

 

In Logic 101, it is taught that if you can prove one of the premises false, then the conclusion drawn from the premises can be in error.

 

Why should a male waiter be looked upon with respect or find his abstience admirable by a non-female waiter, you might ask? I can think of one or two reasons.

 

     First of all, he is a trend setter.  If you look at the data from this site, you will find that there are more female waiters waiting than male waiters (65% female to 35% male). A great orator once wrote that "dead bodies float downstream, it is only the live ones that resist the current". What can this adage mean? For me, it means that male waiters resist the current of societal values. They possess values that go against societal norms. For the female non-waiter, I will argue, these are good qualities. This means the male waiter won't treat her like garbage or yesterday's mail. There is a higher chance of him possessing gentleman-like qualities.

 

    Second of all, he is more selective of his life partner. Even though he may possess typical human being characteristics (e.g., sexual urges and appetites). He works to control them because he hopes to gain deeper and life-giving relationships. In this way, his mind is clearer and he can focus on items that matter to him.

 

 This is just one male waiter's perspective, :).

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now