Mike

Study: Ideal Romantic Partners

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Hey Everybody,

 

Added a cool article to the Statistics section today: Who We Look For: Findings From a Study on Ideal Romantic Partners

 

It covers the differences between the qualities people look for when seeking a romantic partner, and the qualities they look for when they're seeking a purely sexual partner.

 

Let me know what you think!

 

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 I liked it  ^_^

 

 & especially the two following sections 

 

Kindness is the most actionable item on this list. Being kind isn’t “being nice.†It doesn’t mean being sweet and passive. Kindness is thoughtfully alleviating people’s pain, with effort and words. The good news is that you can always get better at this, and that you’re naturally pretty good at it if you let yourself be.

 

 

4.  Some of the qualities we stress about don’t matter much  Least important qualities in a romantic partner…

 

  1. Social status
  2. Younger/older than me
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Not that I'm surprised, but I'm apparently an outlier. Physical attractiveness is one of the top things I look for in a wife. To me, it's easily at least just as important as the top three things people look for in a romantic partner.

 

I have to wonder if my being a waiter affects this. If I weren't a waiter, maybe having sex with a beautiful woman would get it "out of my system" and I would care less about how good looking my wife is. I would have already experienced something I really want to experience and will have been done with it. As a waiter, that's of course not going to happen outside of marriage, though.

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For me, appearance is about 50% important. It's what they bring along with them in the other 50% that makes or breaks the attraction in full. What I mean is that I can find a guy really attractive and it could go either way. If, with the other 50% he brings intelligence, faith, compassion, communication, etc etc... then he becomes much better looking. However, if he has nothing to add to world, nonsensical gibberish comes out of him, he's harsh, etc etc... then he loses some of that 'sex' appeal. Actually those things tend to make him downright repulsive to me. I've been abused... so, the need to feel an attraction is kind of important to me. I need to be able to imagine wanting him, and him wanting me, and being with each other. I want to be able to imagine waking up and enjoying him every morning and every night. Maybe I'm shallow, but that's the way I feel.

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For me, appearance is about 50% important. It's what they bring along with them in the other 50% that makes or breaks the attraction in full. What I mean is that I can find a guy really attractive and it could go either way. If, with the other 50% he brings intelligence, faith, compassion, communication, etc etc... then he becomes much better looking. However, if he has nothing to add to world, nonsensical gibberish comes out of him, he's harsh, etc etc... then he loses some of that 'sex' appeal. Actually those things tend to make him downright repulsive to me. I've been abused... so, the need to feel an attraction is kind of important to me. I need to be able to imagine wanting him, and him wanting me, and being with each other. I want to be able to imagine waking up and enjoying him every morning and every night. Maybe I'm shallow, but that's the way I feel.

I don't see how your preference for someone attractive is shallow. :-). What is the point of being with someone you don't even find attractive?

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I think most people think that if you even CONSIDER someone's looks, and won't be with them unless you're attracted, then you're shallow... because it's 'what's on the inside that counts'. Maybe that's just what I've observed in the world. I guess that's why I feel shallow, even though I don't really think I am... I mean, I'd never be with someone JUST because of looks.

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