What are YOUR thoughts on premarital sex?

[Sophie 1,280]

My Questions to You

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex?

2. Do you view it as a sin?

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay?

4. Is premarital sex ever okay?

5. How do you feel about casual sex?

How I feel

I am 100% okay with premarital sex but only under these conditions:

1. The couple has to be genuinely, truly, and madly in love

2. Ideally they would have waited 1-3 months before starting sex just to make sure that their emotional connection is strong enough, but if it is true love then I suppose it doesn't matter how long you've been together

3. They've cultivated their time together before having sex so they know that their relationship could last forever, or for at least a long time

4. Of course I would prefer if a couple is in a real real relationship before having sex, but if it is true love and the man is being sent off to fight in a war and may never return, or has to move away for company reasons, then...I guess it's okay for them to have sex. Even if it's just once. (I could never do that, because it would make saying goodbye too excruciating.)

For me, sex is something you should share with someone whom you deeply love - flaws and all - and with someone who's deeply in love with you - flaws and all. To me, then it's okay to have sex. When your love is that real and strong, why not? Because I feel this way, I am still on the bench about WTM. I mean, what if I don't mean my future-husband until I am 35 but before that, I do find two guys whom I fall very much in love with? Just because we don't end up together, doesn't mean that love wasn't real. And I would hate to miss out on some a spiritual and physical experience with them because I am waiting until marriage (talking about sex here.) And if the love of my life doesn't want to get married because he suffered from a traumatizing divorce of his parents (which I can understand,) am I really willing to lose him? I'm not so sure if I am...

To me, sex does not equal love but sex is okay if love (real love) is already there. Also, I am an Atheist, so I am not doing this for religious or spiritual reasons. Casual sex disgusts me. Always has, always will. And my mind will never change on that. I have a friend who has dabbled slightly with casual sex, and that doesn't make me love her any less. But, no matter how open-minded I have tried to be, I just cannot bring myself to even tolerate casual sex.

[Guest markb4]

!) No

2) Yes

3) N/A

4) Don't think so. I believe if the couple are deeply truly in love, they should hurry to marry rather than hurry to have sexual relations.

5) Like you, Sophie, it is disgusting. It makes this beautiful action seem like a mindless, pointless, animalistic game; and the highter your "score", the better you are.

We all have our opinions !

[LookingForTheOne 318]

My Questions to You

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex? No

2. Do you view it as a sin? Yes

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay? Doesn't apply to me

4. Is premarital sex ever okay? No

I've noticed, though, that many people say something to the effect that "I'll have sex if I'm truly in love with my boyfriend/girlfriend", as if to suggest that they wouldn't walk down the aisle with them first.

If I really loved someone--if I was double sure that she was the one, I'd marry her first, and I'd expect the same of any prospective mate.

As far as the risk of losing my lover if I refuse to have sex before the marriage (or the lover not wanting to marry)--even though it's hard, I'd probably pay that price, because if we aren't compatible on this issue, it's better to end it than to continue with a doomed relationship.

[Sophie 1,280]

5) Like you, Sophie, it is disgusting. It makes this beautiful action seem like a mindless, pointless, animalistic game; and the highter your "score", the better you are.

EXACTLY. I just view casual sex as so animalistic. People argue, "but humans are animals." Yeah, but it is also in an animal's nature to hunt and kill. Does that mean humans should hunt and kill each other? NO. Maybe that's a tad extreme. lol. But that's honestly how I feel. And with all these STD's...it's so incredibly dangerous. How could anyone risk it?

[Guest markb4]

I've noticed, though, that many people say something to the effect that "I'll have sex if I'm truly in love with my boyfriend/girlfriend", as if to suggest that they wouldn't walk down the aisle with them first.

If I really loved someone--if I was double sure that she was the one, I'd marry her first, and I'd expect the same of any prospective mate.

As far as the risk of losing my lover if I refuse to have sex before the marriage (or the lover not wanting to marry)--even though it's hard, I'd probably pay that price, because if we aren't compatible on this issue, it's better to end it than to continue with a doomed relationship.

Exactly! If you really love your partner, you'll marry him/her, not have sex w/him/her.

[Guest markb4]

EXACTLY. I just view casual sex as so animalistic. People argue, "but humans are animals." Yeah, but it is also in an animal's nature to hunt and kill. Does that mean humans should hunt and kill each other? NO. Maybe that's a tad extreme. lol. But that's honestly how I feel. And with all these STD's...it's so incredibly dangerous. How could anyone risk it?

Glad u agree . Sex is a beautiful thing when done by a husband and a wife, they're sharing each other's love and bodies, etc. and it strengthens the love. But casually, just incites the lust part of it, and gives "love" a seat in the back.

[dodgedude 2,350]

1) No

2) Yes

3) -

4) I don't believe so. I'm with Mark, if you are deeply in love with that person then get married...I know some people don't see it that way but thats just how I feel. And I feel like when you are in love with someone you have to be willing to love that person enough NOT to have sex with them...seems counter-intuitive to some but to me it doesn't. You are not only committing a sin yourself but you are enabling the other person to sin as well.

5) Absolutely disgust it. Period. I know society often portrays men in general as "womanizers" or always trying to get lucky and yes some guys are like that but I know all of us guys on here are trying to break that stereotype. For me personally it comes down to being God's man. For some reason society tends to view men who sleep with as many women as possible as real men and cool, hip...yada yada yada. In reality, a weak man gives into temptation..it takes a strong man to stand up and say that it's not right and that I'm going to be true to myself and my morals and live for God. Societal views on this subject are completely backwards. Pre-marital sex (Read: casual sex since I'm on that subject) makes one less of a man not more of one.

But hey that's just my two cents!

[Sally 2,368]

I'm not gonna comment because mine would be the same as dd's

[dodgedude 2,350]

Great minds think alike lol!

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

1) No

2) Yes

3) -

4) I don't believe so. I'm with Mark, if you are deeply in love with that person then get married...I know some people don't see it that way but thats just how I feel. And I feel like when you are in love with someone you have to be willing to love that person enough NOT to have sex with them...seems counter-intuitive to some but to me it doesn't. You are not only committing a sin yourself but you are enabling the other person to sin as well.

5) Absolutely disgust it. Period. I know society often portrays men in general as "womanizers" or always trying to get lucky and yes some guys are like that but I know all of us guys on here are trying to break that stereotype. For me personally it comes down to being God's man. For some reason society tends to view men who sleep with as many women as possible as real men and cool, hip...yada yada yada. In reality, a weak man gives into temptation..it takes a strong man to stand up and say that it's not right and that I'm going to be true to myself and my morals and live for God. Societal views on this subject are completely backwards. Pre-marital sex (Read: casual sex since I'm on that subject) makes one less of a man not more of one.

But hey that's just my two cents!

You go DodgeDude! Now that is a man with character!

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex?

2. Do you view it as a sin?

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay?

4. Is premarital sex ever okay?

5. How do you feel about casual sex?

1. no

2. Yes

3. It's not ever okay unless it's with one person in the sanctity of marriage.

4. Nope.

5. It freakin' disgusts me. I think some people are a walking disease because of it. ew. :/

[Sally 2,368]

I agree OHG

[Sally 2,368]

P.s. OHG wish you lived closer....you'd be fun to girltalk with lol, I say that bc what you just said sounds like one of my friends at school hahA

[dodgedude 2,350]

Thanks OHG! That means alot!

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

Thanks OHG! That means alot!

you betcha!

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

P.s. OHG wish you lived closer....you'd be fun to girltalk with lol, I say that bc what you just said sounds like one of my friends at school hahA

awww, Sally! You are soo sweet!!! yeah, I know what you mean though. I was actually thinking about that. I was like, "I wonder how far, Sally lives like if I could like hop in my car and meet up and we could hang out and have some girly fun." lol I'm sure we will get to eventually though.

[Sophie 1,280]

I'm really glad to see so many people have replied to this! But I wish more people would vote! Anyways, like I've mentioned, I have always been undecided on waiting until marriage. I may chose to have sex out of marriage (but only with guys I truly love and we have to have been dating for over four months.) But reading these responses made me realize just how much I didn't want to have casual sex. I see it in Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, Friends...and it all seems so glamorous and fun.

But I would never let a stranger inside of me, or even let a stranger kiss me. To me, kissing is almost as serious as sex: I would only kiss a guy if I really, really liked him and if he really, really liked me. Love doesn't have to be involved, but True Like does. lol.

I am 18, so I have lived my life being influenced by TV, movies, books...and it almost made me want to try casual sex. But now I have remembered just how much I HATE the idea of casual sex, and how much I do not want to sleep with a stranger, get an STD...have less value as a human being.

I don't believe for one moment that virginity defines how much a woman is worth to her husband, and vice versa. I think, as long as people only ever have sex in True Love relationships, that their sense of worth and value has not gone down at all. But casual sex? NO. Sex one the third date rule? NO. Equally as bad to me.

[Andrea 78]

I 2nt everything mark said. He said it for me so no need to repet.

Thank you mark! smart man

[Jegsy Scarr 3,521]

Hey!

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex?

2. Do you view it as a sin?

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay?

4. Is premarital sex ever okay?

5. How do you feel about casual sex?

1. No, I don't condone it.

2. I believe it's a sin.

3. I'm against it!

4. I don't believe it's ever okay, but I believe it's better when they are in love. At least then, they are having sex because they love each other, instead of them just doing it for fun. But that doesn't stop it from being a sin!

5. It's just disgusting. It's like saying, "I don't care about love, I don't care about you as a person, I'm just doing this because it feels good". People are not animals!

xxx

[Guest markb4]

Thank you mark! smart man

Yeah, I agree .

[Slayerofdragon 1,322]

The Questions:

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex?

2. Do you view it as a sin?

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay?

4. Is premarital sex ever okay?

5. How do you feel about casual sex?

My answers:

1) No. However, if someone I knew had pre-marital sex, I would not condemn them;rather, I would accept them for who they are. But from my personal experience, pre-marital sex has the potential for creating problems in a relationship.

2) Yes

3)

4) No

5) I'm against it because the people involved become animals. There seems to be no love component to the act, just pure passion.

[Sophie 1,280]

I'm surprised to see how many people are completely against the idea of pre-marital sex. I personally, was 100% for it when I was younger and around age 13 or 14 I became completely against it, but I have recently opened my mind a little to be okay with it as long as the couple is in love and are in a committed relationship.

Who voted that casual sex is okay? Not judging or anything, I'm just curious.

[Guest martel732]

1. Do you condone pre-marital sex?

2. Do you view it as a sin?

3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay?

4. Is premarital sex ever okay?

5. How do you feel about casual sex?

1. Never.

2. It's really an irrelevant sin if more so-called 'followers of Christ' can't keep their legs closed much past their 13th birthdays than non-followers (see CNN statistics c. 2006, and Relevant Magazine's 80% of Evangelicals have pre-marital sex)

3.

4. It isn't.

5. Utterly disgusted. Shocked. Appalled. I thought those that resemble human beings phenotypically, would have thoughts of their own and subsequently seek to make them a conviction. 99% of the US can't, don't or won't. Make your own conclusions from that.

[Guest martel732]

Also, pre-marital sex is casual sex. What kind of question is this?

[invicta_silver 7]

Also, pre-marital sex is casual sex. What kind of question is this?

I think there's a slight difference. Usually people refer to casual sex as sex with no strings attached. So no emotional investment is required. Casual sex is a subset of pre-marital sex, but I think pre-marital sex encompasses more than just casual sex. So an example would be if a couple is in a committed, romantic relationship and feel like they don't need to get married to consummate their love. So... yeah. That's my guess.