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Guest markb4

Cowardly Husbands

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Seriously, Mark? This should be a no-brainer. Women despise weakness in men. Know why the adage, "Nice guys finish last," is often proved true? Women tend to not feel secure and safe with such milksops.

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If a guy has cowardice, I'm picturing a guy who feels disempowered to a certain degree. Also maybe he is too shy to be the first one to start talking? Feeling very empowered is something I've been currently focusing & working on for myself. Also, overcoming shyness right now in regards to talking to men & putting myself out there to make friends with guys is also a current focus & something I'm working on.

There's the other side of the coin from feeling cowardice or insecurity-& that is having a conceited attitude & ego. This , personally for me-the huge ego -is one of my biggest turn offs. It's such a big turn off, that if, even when I see a new guy for the first time that I think is very good looking-& then I notice his ego is huge & he acts like he thinks he's better than others-then he doesn't have another moment of my interest or attention. I do not personally feel I am better or less than anyone. I personally believe each Soul has equal, precious value-& that no Soul is better or less than another; & I also believe we are all each doing our own personal best.

If a guy seems insecure or shy, I'm not going to not try to be his friend if he seems kind & respectful. I would have some compassion for his feelings, because I myself am learning to overcome shyness. By the time I feel I am in that healthy, empowered space within myself to be ready to attract my husband in a similar space-I will not be looking to be with a guy that feels really disempowered.

I'm not looking to become perfect-just in a generally healthy space within myself. I also am not looking for "Mr. Perfect" to marry. I doubt that exists on this planet, & even if it did-I'd feel too stressed to be married to that!

..So, I do not desire him to be perfect -& if I find he's kinda shy or I end up being the one to initiate conversation, I'm not going to think , "He's displaying cowardice-deal breaker!" I'll have some compassion & if he seems nice & respectful, I'll be happy to talk to him!

In respect to my own natural shyness, even though I am aiming for & believe I will overcome much of it, I will want to be friends before starting to date any guy, because I'll just feel more comfortable being myself in that natural kind of progression for me.

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Hey Gals,

Is cowardice in your husband a deal-breaker for you?

 

How are you defining "cowardice"? Can you give some examples of the behavior you are thinking about? Because I wouldn't mind a bit of shyness when initiating relationships, but I hope he would be willing to take care of our family if we were ever in danger.

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How are you defining "cowardice"? Can you give some examples of the behavior you are thinking about? Because I wouldn't mind a bit of shyness when initiating relationships, but I hope he would be willing to take care of our family if we were ever in danger.

 

CowardlyLion-1.jpg

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There's a difference between a softie and a coward. I'm a real pushover but if someone is being hurt or bullied, I'm not gonna sit back and watch that shit. If I had a girlfriend, noone will dare harm her!

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One example of cowardice in a relationship to me is:


A coward is someone who quickly avoids confrontation, even if it costs a relationship.  I would want someone who was willing to work things out if there were a misunderstanding or a confrontation.  It's easier (and cowardly) to leave because things are uncomfortable or worse to stay and insult the other. To stay and resolve a battle fairly without fallacy is bravery. 

I understand this is a very abstract explanation of cowardice. Cowardice can be seen in many, many different ways.  It's hard to pin it.
 

 

Contrarily, BRAVERY is a person of good character who is willing to face the challenges of life.

 

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One example of cowardice in a relationship to me is:

A coward is someone who quickly avoids confrontation, even if it costs a relationship.  I would want someone who was willing to work things out if there were a misunderstanding or a confrontation.  It's easier (and cowardly) to leave because things are uncomfortable or worse to stay and insult the other. To stay and resolve a battle fairly without fallacy is bravery. 

I understand this is a very abstract explanation of cowardice. Cowardice can be seen in many, many different ways.  It's hard to pin it.

 

 

Contrarily, BRAVERY is a person of good character who is willing to face the challenges of life.

 

This, is true. Me gusta.

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"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."  -- Nelson Mandela

 

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."  -- Mark Twain

 

"Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway."  -- John Wayne

 

Game of Thrones: The Pointy End (Season 1, Episode 8)

Theon Greyjoy: Are you afraid?

[Robb's hand is shaking because he has just decided to declare war against his family's enemies]

Robb Stark: I must be.

Theon: Good.

Robb: Why is that good?

Theon: It means you're not stupid.

 

"Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'  'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him."

-- George R. R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

 

I don't know what you mean by "cowardly," but I will say that I wouldn't mind at all if my husband felt fear from time to time.  I know I do.  Honestly, I'd be worried if he never felt fear.  All I ask is that he face his fears and try to conquer them.  I don't even care whether or not he conquers every fear he faces.  What matters to me is his willingness to face them in the first place.

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Yes. To me my husband is supposed to be the head of the household and if he acts cowardly all the time he couldn't be that. I need him to be the leader and I will support him 100%. He can be afraid but not always run away from whatever he is afraid of. If he sees injustice I want him to be able to do something about it.

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YES, a complete dealbreaker! It's a non-desirable character trait!

 

I'm defining cowardice as: using others as a shield for your benefit, never standing up for anyone so you don't look bad, lying to get ahead, blaming others instead of looking at your own actions, groveling and sucking up and generally being fake to people with power/authority/resources for the sole purpose of them liking you so you can get ahead.

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