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LookingForTheOne

How important is WTM in a significant other?

   16 members have voted

  1. 1. How important is WTM in a significant other?

    • I would not date/marry someone who's not a virgin
      8
    • I would not date/marry someone who's not WTM, only
      3
    • It isn't important to me, I'm WTM for myself only
      5

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11 posts in this topic

I'm sure most people here are waiting for themselves, of course, but do you think it's important to date or marry a person with the same history/opinions?

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Its quite important, but not a deal breaker. I dated a guy a but who only had sex before (quite awhile ago) in 2 serious relationships so only those 2 girls. He was willing to wait for me and very respectful in general.

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Ditto to what Sally said. Though I'll just add that I am a virgin and, ideally, I would want a virgin too. The person would also need to have comparable values about sex (i.e. sex is special, should be taken seriously, preferably for marriage).

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TG no kidding we'd want so.wine who views sex as special/to be taken seriously! Lol, that's my sarcastic side coming out since I know u better than I know others here haha

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Well after being in both types of relationship. I would say a waiter/virgin only because it makes it so much easier when the guy is waiting too because he has stronger will power and isn't as aggressive because he doesnt have the experience but I wouldn't want a guy had never been with anyone and was just looking for someone to experience it with. He'd have to be both a waiter/virgin too. That's it♥ What about for you?

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I appreciate the distinction in the polling choices. Sadly, there are people who are virgins but merely want to throw it away (even if you ended up marrying them). They're the kinds that get a taste for the act and then proceed to run around after it, even if that mean cheating. Besides, they're kind of 'snakes in the grass'. Hence, the 'Also WTM' choice is relevant. Funny to see that this thread WASN'T started by Mark, lol...

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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It isn't important to me at all. The guys I date do not have to be virgins. If I only ever dated virgin guys or guys who were only WTM, I would miss out on so many wonderful men. To me, it is very important that he is madly in love with me and I am madly in love with him and that he respects my virginity and my personal boundaries. I would find it hard to date a guy who was a "manw***e" before me. So I think...I would rather date a guy who only had sex in real relationships. If he used to sleep around, I think it would be hard to trust him.

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I have dated both girls who were waiting/virgins and those who had not waited. It is most definitely easier dating fellow waiters but I would not be opposed to dating (obviously) or even marrying a non-waiter...assuming they wait for me of course! There are several reasons...for starters its hard enough as it is to find someone with similar values, ideals, personality, things in common, who you get along with and are wildy attracted to, and who feels the same about you, let alone someone with all of those qualities who is ALSO waiting! I would prefer to date and ultimately marry a waiter but I feel like that is really limiting myself and unless I'm comfortable not being married for possibly a really long time I need to be more open. So thats my take.. B)

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Right now, I'm not dating. However, in the future, I think that I'll only be dating WTM guys. I've got a lot on my plate & I don't foresee my burdens getting any lighter in the future (I think I'll get better at juggling, but that's about it). I want someone who is on the same spiritual road, whose spiritual goals are parallel to my own. I'm not ruling out guys with a past. I'm just not trying to date someone whose not on the same page. It is a headache that I've had & don't need. Not saying that it can't work. I've heard stories of it working, & I've spoken to people who have had success in their "missionary love" scenarios, i.e. dated a nonbeliever/waiter in the hopes of converting them, & succeeded. But, they're stories don't necessarily encompass "smooth travel." I believe that you cannot raise/change a grown individual without their agreement & cooperation...So, one should take the individual as they are (flaws & all) or leave them on the shelf. I wouldn't advise buying with the intent to modify.

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So, one should take the individual as they are (flaws & all) or leave them on the shelf. I wouldn't advise buying with the intent to modify.

I think this is fantastic advice! I've had this arguement with my parents before about how I don't want to date a non-believer with the intent to bring them to God...I would say this almost never works. Same goes for any values or views the other person has...not a good idea to think you can change people. After all, I don't want a girl trying to change me either.

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Right now, I'm not dating. However, in the future, I think that I'll only be dating WTM guys. I've got a lot on my plate & I don't foresee my burdens getting any lighter in the future (I think I'll get better at juggling, but that's about it). I want someone who is on the same spiritual road, whose spiritual goals are parallel to my own. I'm not ruling out guys with a past. I'm just not trying to date someone whose not on the same page. It is a headache that I've had & don't need. Not saying that it can't work. I've heard stories of it working, & I've spoken to people who have had success in their "missionary love" scenarios, i.e. dated a nonbeliever/waiter in the hopes of converting them, & succeeded. But, they're stories don't necessarily encompass "smooth travel." I believe that you cannot raise/change a grown individual without their agreement & cooperation...So, one should take the individual as they are (flaws & all) or leave them on the shelf. I wouldn't advise buying with the intent to modify.

how true! how true!!

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