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emily1030

He ended it because I'm waiting

18 posts in this topic

Is there a venting thread? Because I would like to express my EXTREME disgust, anger, and sadness at the fact that the guy I've been dating for a couple of months just told me he cant continue dating me because we can't have sex. 

 

....like seriously?

 

I just can't even....

 

Please anyone who has had this happen or has something to say to affirm the fact that he's not right for me would be greatly appreciated.

 

This was completely out of left field. I did not see this coming at all.

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Hey Emily don't be so hard on yourself because of his feelings about the relationship.

I understand your need to vent, we're human and at times simply need to 'blow off steam'! Each of the emotions you described above are normal reactions because like you mentioned, it's still fresh information that you're adjusting to.

Unfortunately and though two months seems a bit early, it's as though sex it's seen as a progression of intimacy within dating relationships.

Why do you think this is so?

Do you feel as though you have strong feelings for this guy?

Is he someone you could see or could've seen yourself having a future with?

Hope you feel better, and that maybe the two of you can sit and talk about this as friends. Have a mutually agreed upon decision on how each of you feels, wants to proceed at this point.

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Good riddance! Your boyfriend should remind you of your morals and love you for who you are. Simple.

 

Anyway, choose a man who is waiting with you. Ya'll should be in it together. 

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Wow just move on honestly there's not much else to do let him go cause honestly if a guy isn't willing to treat a girl like the prize she is then he doesn't need to be in a relationship.

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I hate it when this happens! I've been in the same situation a few times before. At first it used to really affect and upset me but now I've learned that it says far more about them than it does about you.  If they can't accept the fact that you're waiting then they're not right for you.  This website above anything has reassured me that there are men out there who will respect and appreciate your decision to wait.

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Is there a venting thread? Because I would like to express my EXTREME disgust, anger, and sadness at the fact that the guy I've been dating for a couple of months just told me he cant continue dating me because we can't have sex. 

 

....like seriously?

 

I just can't even....

 

Please anyone who has had this happen or has something to say to affirm the fact that he's not right for me would be greatly appreciated.

 

This was completely out of left field. I did not see this coming at all.

 

Well clearly he's not right for you. Just as you aren't right for him. Not everyone can wait, just remember the good times, take it as a good life experience, and move on.

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Lol what an idiot! Now Emily I don't know you personally, but since you're a waiter, virgin or not,  it shows that you have a unique set of morals and values. So a guy would be truly lucky to be with you since not many people wait. Obviously this ex-boyfriend didn't have the same set of morals. At the end of the day who knows if waiting is the "right" or "correct" decision, but at least we know that this guy wasn't compatible with you and although it's hurtful it's good that he was upfront about his needs before things got even more serious. 

 

It's bad to break up with a girl b/c she is waiting till marriage, but at least some guys out there let it be known that they're not waiting. The worst are the guys who lead a girl down a long relationship only to break up at the end. I say in less than a month couples should know where they stand on sex.

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I understand, Emily.  It has happened to me as well and it is frustrating.  Truth is though, this is the way MANY people think (that waiting is not worth it thus we are not worth it).  It hurts but it is now to be expected.  Good news, waiting until marriage is a great way to weed out the bad ones (which is most of them).

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I think you are amazing. Hold your standards and don't fall for the idiots. Sadly the idiots out number the nice guys by 10:1 so good on you for your strength of character. The excuses come from all angles so good catch. Lol x

Mr Right is just around the corner. Happy weekend from the UK. Col.

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Color me unsurprised. You just can't expect the average person to even give the idea of waiting a moment's consideration. The promiscuous person becomes increasingly unable to discern right from wrong. Anything that serves their interests is "right" and "moral." This is why I don't buy into "Don't judge!" drivel. Judge everyone. You have a brain for a reason. Use it...and hopefully you won't run into this sort of thing again.

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Hey Emily, don't sweat it. Sounds like his desires were more important. Being alone in the long run is far better than being with someone who doesn’t appreciate your worth. Losing that guy was a gain, not a loss. You cannot be good enough for everybody, but you will always be the best for the one that deserves you.

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As I've said before, it's crazy to me that some pople aren't willing to wait, but unfortunately it's true. If all hope is gone with this guy, I'm sure eventually you'll find a guy who will.

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As I've said before, it's crazy to me that some pople aren't willing to wait, but unfortunately it's true. If all hope is gone with this guy, I'm sure eventually you'll find a guy who will.

 

I don't find it crazy at all...in fact I think its rather understandable. It would be nice, however, if they were more-open minded and less...coarse in their disparagement of waiting.

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I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their kind words and advice. I've talked to him in greater length about it and discovered that he's really just lived a life of having sex with anyone he may have feelings with and its just become natural to him. Waiting until marriage is just not the life he wants to live. Its extremely sad and I'm really hurt, but I am glad it did not go on longer and I know now that he was not the one for me.

 

I'm in a new town in a new state and don't know anyone. He was really the only friend I've made here so far, so this makes it even worse that I have no one to lean on and spend time with. But I will get through this. I just have to have faith that the right guy will be around the corner.

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I just have to have faith that the right guy will be around the corner.

He will Emily just hold on to that faith. You seem well deserving of a great guy. Wait, no not just any great guy, because even some "great" guys aren't waiters. You deserve more than just a great guy you deserve a waiter, your king, a man that will love you even if you're angry at him. A man who's joy comes from loving you, treating you right, seeing you happy and feeling loved. Such a man is rare, but then again so are you. Not many waiters outside of this community.

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This happened to me last April! Just that, he ended it because he told me he doesn't know how a relationship can work if we are not gonna do it and also he said he doesn't know how to be attached to me without having sex. I felt weird. Like is that all that i can offer as a woman, SEX!!! and without it i am nothing??? duh!!! But you know at that time, I was so confused, almost giving in, but hey, the power of Christ stands. And so we broke up. Oh yeah, one more thing he told me, he said he felt like a gay not having sex in a relationship. 

 

Anyway, you made the right decision. You have more to offer than just sex. If that's what he only sees, then he is shallow. 

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The same thing happened to me in a sense.
It was a little more complicated though.
My significant other broke up with me because I was having difficulty handling her past.
But she would often talk about or hint at the things she did in her past, how would the average person respond, like really? Lol
And anyway, she would get upset and sad that I didn't want to have sex with her, I was trying to look past her past, it might have still been a possibility, but it was compounded by her attitude towards it. Anyhow, needless to say, she is no longer in my life.
I was quite in love with her so its been hard, but they say time heals all wounds. And really, he did you a favor. He stepped aside to let a real man into your life. I feel as though any real man does not need to sleep with you to feel an attachment. I certainly don't. I know that for sure and there are others out there as well. Oh and by the way, whatever you do, DON'T GIVE IN. Stick to your guns.

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The same thing happened to me in a sense.

It was a little more complicated though.

My significant other broke up with me because I was having difficulty handling her past.

But she would often talk about or hint at the things she did in her past, how would the average person respond, like really? Lol

And anyway, she would get upset and sad that I didn't want to have sex with her, I was trying to look past her past, it might have still been a possibility, but it was compounded by her attitude towards it. Anyhow, needless to say, she is no longer in my life.

I was quite in love with her so its been hard, but they say time heals all wounds. And really, he did you a favor. He stepped aside to let a real man into your life. I feel as though any real man does not need to sleep with you to feel an attachment. I certainly don't. I know that for sure and there are others out there as well. Oh and by the way, whatever you do, DON'T GIVE IN. Stick to your guns.

 

Not to be crass, but sounds like your ex was a toxic slut, through and through. Trust me, no normal girl with any sort of moral compass would just start randomly talking about the sex acts they've performed. Let this be a red flag to you from now on.

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