CreativeChic

What defines you as a virgin?

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I know everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on this. But what makes you a virgin?

 

To me its if you have had not had sexual intercourse (meaning oral and touching is permitted and anything entering your lady parts that is a man's part is a no no) now before someone strikes me down for saying that I’m asking because…

 

The main stream society (people who have sex) will think if you only have done oral you are still a virgin.

 

But some virgins would say you are not.

 

So the thin line between it is confusing. The problem I’m having is the guys who want to wait for marriage are either fine with my past or think im a grade a wild child, granted I could use a swear word here, (when my experience is very little I have only had 2 boyfriends) and the guys who have sex think im a prude.

 

I just need thoughts from others on this.

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Hello,

Welcome too.... Ok as you say opinion on this is a very personal thing. For me virgin is no penetration. In my book I am ok with everything else. I think it does not matter if folk get a "feel". Bad expression sorry!!! For each others sexual likes and dislikes as long as they stop short at intercourse. But hey thats just me and I know some even save the first kiss for the one.

There is also much discussion on here about those who have made mistakes physically but have only given themselves spiritually and emotionally to their true love. Im good with this too. Ahhh hey I am just a crazy Brit he he

All the best. Col.

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I define virginity by any kind of sexual contact; oral, masturbation, whatever. If one has done of any these, they're not truly a virgin in my eyes.

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In my opinion:

Oral sex: Not virgin

Anal sex: Not virgin

Mutual masturbation: Not virgin

Nude cuddling: Not virgin

Vaginal sex: Not virgin

Basically in my opinion there's more to virginity than the physical. Perhaps I'm mixing virginity and purity up.

How about this: If you've done any of the above apart from vaginal sex then you may be a virgin by standards of the definition of intercourse but because you've done these things you shouldn't go around proudly claiming you're a virgin. That's just my opinion on things.

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In my opinion:

Oral sex: Not virgin

Anal sex: Not virgin

Mutual masturbation: Not virgin

Nude cuddling: Not virgin

Vaginal sex: Not virgin

Basically in my opinion there's more to virginity than the physical. Perhaps I'm mixing virginity and purity up.

How about this: If you've done any of the above apart from vaginal sex then you may be a virgin by standards of the definition of intercourse but because you've done these things you shouldn't go around proudly claiming you're a virgin. That's just my opinion on things.

WHAT IF... You're dying of hypothermia and you have to cuddle naked to transfer body heat to stay alive, are you still a virgin? :D

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WHAT IF... You're dying of hypothermia and you have to cuddle naked to transfer body heat to stay alive, are you still a virgin? :D

 

Why the flying Normandy would someone be naked in a setting cold enough to instill hypothermia...?

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WHAT IF... You're dying of hypothermia and you have to cuddle naked to transfer body heat to stay alive, are you still a virgin? :D

 

Why the flying Normandy would someone be naked in a setting cold enough to instill hypothermia...?

 

I think he means you become naked, to some degree, in order to transfer the heat between your bodies more efficiently.

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I define virginity by any kind of sexual contact; oral, masturbation, whatever. If one has done of any these, they're not truly a virgin in my eyes.

 

Hmmm, while I do think including masturbation is a little extreme, I do agree with your general sentiment. While I still strongly believe virginity, (however you choose to define it) is important, I think purity is the key thing. There is a difference. You can be a non-virgin and still live a pure life and  you can be a virgin and not be pure. I like to look at it as each time we do something sexual in nature that is not with our spouse, we are taking away from that purity that is meant for our spouse. This can be something as full on as vaginal intercourse to something relatively minor such as looking at another person with lust. No one is going to be 100% pure in the,,,purest sense (kneeslapper), but I think our goal is to strive to maintain as much purity as possible for our wedding night.

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Hmmm, while I do think including masturbation is a little extreme, I do agree with your general sentiment. While I still strongly believe virginity, (however you choose to define it) is important, I think purity is the key thing. There is a difference. You can be a non-virgin and still live a pure life and  you can be a virgin and not be pure. I like to look at it as each time we do something sexual in nature that is not with our spouse, we are taking away from that purity that is meant for our spouse. This can be something as full on as vaginal intercourse to something relatively minor such as looking at another person with lust. No one is going to be 100% pure in the,,,purest sense (kneeslapper), but I think our goal is to strive to maintain as much purity as possible for our wedding night.

 

Oh, to clarify, dude, I meant mutual masturbation. My bad. If regular, solo masturbation were one of my principles well...I'd be major a hypocrite.   :lol:

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I don't think there is much need to get caught up in the terminology of what is and what isn't a virgin. I want to save making out and maybe even kissing because I think that will make it more special, but that doesn't mean people who have done those things aren't virgins. Basically, save what you want to save and think should not be given to multiple people, regardless of if it makes you a virgin or not.

 

If you want my striaghtforward answer, I would say only having actual sex makes one a non-virgin, but I would say doing just about anything else makes one at least somewhat sexually experienced (and maybe very sexually experienced depending on what was done).

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WHAT IF... You're dying of hypothermia and you have to cuddle naked to transfer body heat to stay alive, are you still a virgin? :D

I thought of addressing that in my comment but I'm sure you're joking. Obviously it wouldn't be a sexual thing then so it would be okay to do it and still call oneself a virgin.

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I don't really have a set amount of rules. I don't know if I'm a virgin and I don't care it was a mistake either way. I think sexual purity is far more important than virginity. I have had up to oral, I wish I hadn't have done it. I think by a technical standings vaginal sex is the actual way you lose virginity. On the other hand purity is purity and you can be pure and not a virgin. Or be a virgin and not so pure. I hope my perspective helps some.

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In my opinion, virginity is lost only when there is actual vaginal intercourse, regardless of condom use. Anal, on the other hand, is very borderline, at which point it's difficult to call one a virgin. I have only had one girlfriend, and still do, and we have had oral sex. But I still consider both of us to be virgins. To be honest, though, oral sex occurred out of the open before we decided to wait, and sometimes I wish I haven't initiated it. It is okay though, especially since we're still together and hopefully will be forever blah blah blah. After all, waiting is all about being exclusive with one person for our entire life, and the wait till the wedding night makes it so much more exciting and disciplining.

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Virginity is lost when you have sexual intercorse with some for the first time. Waiting is about being with one partner hopefully for your whole life. Kind of like birds who have lifelong partners.

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I've said all this before, but it's maybe worth saying again..."Virginity" is a pretty wide term, and people use it to mean different things. So I like to distinguish between two "types" of virginity:

 

1. Technical virginity

2. True virginity

 

You can be both, neither, or one of these. Here's my definition:

 

A "technical" virgin is just someone who's never had actual sex, as defined by...actual reproductive organs joining together in baby-making fashion. That's the technical definition of a virgin. However, that's a pretty wide definition. Someone who's never had any kind of sexual contact is a technical virgin. But so is someone who's done everything under the sun except actual sex. Hence the need for another category...

 

A "true" virgin is someone who's never had any type of voluntary sexual contact with someone else. Hence someone who's still technically a virgin but has done everything else, I wouldn't consider them a true virgin. "Voluntary" I think is a pretty important definition. If you have someone who's survived sexual assault, then they might not technically be virgins any more, but honestly, I'd still consider them to be a "true" virgin.

 

Anyway, I think that's a good distinction. If you've got someone who's done everything but have sex, and they try to tell me, "Oh, you're saving your virginity for your husband? Me too!"...yeah, it's not really the same thing.

 

However, "virginity" is not the same as "purity" or "chastity", of course. If you've lost your virginity, you can still regain your purity. And obviously, a married couple who have sex are still "pure". So that's another distinction right there.

 

xxx

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Virginity is just a word. It's not about virginity or non-virginity. It's about how much someone is comfortable with in the other person which is their prerogative in looking for a mate.

 

One thing I want to touch on is that unmarried folks who are doing everything but sex are behaving compassionately. Yes, they could make the decision to not be sexual, but if they are either going to have sex or do everything but, the latter is clearly morally superior.

 

When two who are not married make the decision to be sexual but not to have sex this is a good thing.

 

Why?

 

Because, they are preventing a pregnancy and we all know how EASY it is to get pregnant even when birth control is involved. For a child to be born among two people who don't have 100% intention to get married is obviously not a good thing. And, I would imagine, is more likely to get aborted, which I find lacks compassion.

 

I think it's a great thing when two people decide to compromise, and not have sex, but to do everything but sex instead because it prevents a pregnancy from occurring between two people who will probably never get married to each other. This is a factor that shouldn't be ignored. 

 

Sex creates babies. Being sexual doesn't. 

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Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I know kind of have an idea what to say if I ever find a boyfriend. And has made me think of what Im looking for now.

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