Natureboy

Is monogamy unnatural?

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Do you guys think monogamy is natural for us as human beings? I notice a lot people (especially guys) rationalize sleeping around because its natural for humans to spread their genes and multiple sex partners enhances that probability. It is natural to spread our genes, but we must exercise self-control and caution for the sake of our offspring.  Some anthropologists argue that its not normal to sleep with just one person for life.

 

According to stats, out of 5,000 animal species only 3-5% of mammals practice monogamy (like Canada geese). However, I don't think we should compare ourselves to animals since we are rational beings capable of complex thought and emotion. I just hate how society encourages young people to sleep around as much as possible before marriage so as to "get it out of their system" and avoid a midlife crisis. Here are a few articles on the subject. Let me know what you think.

 

http://www.livescience.com/32146-are-humans-meant-to-be-monogamous.html

 

http://www.wnd.com/2002/09/15221/

 

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/21/opinion/laslocky-monogamy-marriage/

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 I notice a lot people (especially guys) rationalize sleeping around because its natural for humans to spread their genes and multiple sex partners enhances that probability.

 I just hate how society encourages young people to sleep around as much as possible before marriage so as to "get it out of their system" and avoid a midlife crisis.

 Cheap excuses to sleep around. 

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I think that one thing that has to be mentioned is that no animal other than homo sapiens, (that I know of-correct me if I'm wrong), practices birth control. Animals other than humans have sex in order to reproduce. Humans have sex for a great number of reasons. So it isn't to 'spread our genes' around if we're practicing birth control.

 

 

I also believe that sleeping around will not get sex 'out of their system' but more deeply engrain it. Once teenagers begin practicing sex, they will most likely, forbidding any intrusion or life changing events that may turn them into Waiters, continue with it. They will always be hungry for more, and will have a more difficult time settling down into a monogamous relationship later in life.

 

Think about it like food, (and I'm not saying that eating from around the world is bad, just using it as a metaphor). When you first taste the cuisine of another nation, say African cuisine for example, you will begin to wonder what other cuisines taste like. You will go around craving all the different cuisines of the world, and imagining what they'll taste like, what they'll feel like when you eat them. You'll eat from them all, unashamed of your gluttony. Then you find a cuisine that you find yourself sticking too. That's fine and dandy, but eventually you're probably going to remember how much you loved the variety of other cuisines, and you'll find yourself first thinking about the other cuisines here and there, then sampling them guiltily, then eventually consuming large quantities of other cuisines from all around. If you've only ever had one cuisine though, it will be easier to dedicate yourself to loving that one cuisine and not craving the rest because you've never really had to worry about what the other cuisines had that yours didn't.

 

So no, I don't think that sleeping around will get it out of a teenager's system. If anything, I believe that it would be more likely to create a midlife crisis.

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 It is natural to spread our genes, but we must exercise self-control and caution for the sake of our offspring.  Some anthropologists argue that its not normal to sleep with just one person for life.

 

According to stats, out of 5,000 animal species only 3-5% of mammals practice monogamy (like Canada geese). However, I don't think we should compare ourselves to animals since we are rational beings capable of complex thought and emotion.

 

That's exactly the point. I hate when people say, "But having multiple sexual partners in your life is natural! That's what animals do!"

 

What kind of argument is that? So what if animals do it? If we're arguing that "It's natural for animals, so it must be natural for humans", then it'd also be okay to have sex with your relatives, or commit sexual assault, or heck, even eat your own children. Just because it's okay for animals to do something doesn't make it okay for humans to do it.

 

xxx

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I think that one thing that has to be mentioned is that no animal other than homo sapiens, (that I know of-correct me if I'm wrong), practices birth control. Animals other than humans have sex in order to reproduce. Humans have sex for a great number of reasons. So it isn't to 'spread our genes' around if we're practicing birth control.

I also believe that sleeping around will not get sex 'out of their system' but more deeply engrain it. Once teenagers begin practicing sex, they will most likely, forbidding any intrusion or life changing events that may turn them into Waiters, continue with it. They will always be hungry for more, and will have a more difficult time settling down into a monogamous relationship later in life.

Think about it like food, (and I'm not saying that eating from around the world is bad, just using it as a metaphor). When you first taste the cuisine of another nation, say African cuisine for example, you will begin to wonder what other cuisines taste like. You will go around craving all the different cuisines of the world, and imagining what they'll taste like, what they'll feel like when you eat them. You'll eat from them all, unashamed of your gluttony. Then you find a cuisine that you find yourself sticking too. That's fine and dandy, but eventually you're probably going to remember how much you loved the variety of other cuisines, and you'll find yourself first thinking about the other cuisines here and there, then sampling them guiltily, then eventually consuming large quantities of other cuisines from all around. If you've only ever had one cuisine though, it will be easier to dedicate yourself to loving that one cuisine and not craving the rest because you've never really had to worry about what the other cuisines had that yours didn't.

So no, I don't think that sleeping around will get it out of a teenager's system. If anything, I believe that it would be more likely to create a midlife crisis.

Dolphins and... Bonobos?

They both have sex for more than just reproduction.

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Dolphins and... Bonobos?

They both have sex for more than just reproduction.

 

Dolphins are also quite advanced intellectually and are capable of rational thought. 

 

Anyways I'm not sure why people keep posting these things here and posing them as questions. You all know what the answer is going to be, it's hardly affirming that you are within the majority and thus are right when you pose the question to the minority that is completely against the topic.

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Naturalistic fallacy first of all.

Second what is natural? I am nature, you are nature, nature is not something apart from us. It is not a mother, it is not a separate entity. As Carl Sagan says "we are the universe contemplating itself". So whatever I create, make is natural.

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Dolphins are also quite advanced intellectually and are capable of rational thought.

How so? Unless they are self aware this doesn't make sense.

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That's exactly the point. I hate when people say, "But having multiple sexual partners in your life is natural! That's what animals do!"

 

What kind of argument is that? So what if animals do it? If we're arguing that "It's natural for animals, so it must be natural for humans", then it'd also be okay to have sex with your relatives, or commit sexual assault, or heck, even eat your own children. Just because it's okay for animals to do something doesn't make it okay for humans to do it.

 

xxx

I agree.

Also....

Animals also rape murder, have sex with younger members of their group. Just because something is don't mean it ought to be.

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Most would attribute this natural urge as necessary to spread around seed as broadly as possible. Funny how most men would run the other way when they find they got some girl pregnant.

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How so? Unless they are self aware this doesn't make sense.

Dolphins are self aware. They have a language, names for eachother, much more. They're even almost as or as intelligent as people, humans aren't the only smart species on earth.

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Most would attribute this natural urge as necessary to spread around seed as broadly as possible. Funny how most men would run the other way when they find they got some girl pregnant.

 

Yeah pretty much. The difference between humans and animals is that animals aren't obligated to pay child support. lol! Many guys don't want to spread their seed, we're just extremely horny :D

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Most would attribute this natural urge as necessary to spread around seed as broadly as possible. Funny how most men would run the other way when they find they got some girl pregnant.

That baby ain't mine. Yous a ho!

 

In all seriousness, I wonder what the percentage is of fathers who are "deadbeat fathers." Of course, part of that would involve deciding how to define "deadbeat father." Does it mean not paying child support? Not hardly ever seeing your kid? Straight out running away?

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All of the above wny

 

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be shocked if it was pretty high. Even though the situation is common nowadays, I'm just not sure how the situation goes down in the case of accidental pregnancy (I'm thinking adults, not teenagers.) I've never really known anyone who was born to unmarried parents (I know a lot of divorced parents, but that's a different dynamic), so I'm not sure how the parents usually work things out. As in, do the fathers have any role? If so, is it usually mainly a financial one? I'm just not familiar with the dynamics.

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I don't think that humans should justfify their sleeping around by looking at animals doing the same thing. Many animals eat their poop so are people gonna do that then too? I'd say rather look at the good traits of some animals such as certain birds pairing for life. Many places in the Bible it tells us to follow certain good traits of God's creation (Proverbs 6:6, Matthew 10:16)

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Wny they say 3 out of 5 children don't have a father in there life sadly. It may be slightly more, but it is pretty sad. My parents were never married, you're right it is different like I didn't even care when they split.

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Depends on how you're raised.

 

I've been raised in a WTM way and I understand it.

 

Then again, sex is more experimental and explore-able with one person than multiple.

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A lot to say on this, but will attempt to give the short version:

 

From being unfortunately deceived by beautiful photos of the jungle of Pahoa on the Big Island of Hawaii, on a website for an intentional community, I went to live there for half a year.

 

Only 1 monagymous couple lived there that I can recollect at this moment.  All the rest of the people were polyamorous. There was one other guy that also came to do the volunteer program at the community that was actually more conservative in his beliefs like I was ( and still am). 

 

It was truly awful to witness so many people disrespecting each other in these polyamorous "relationships". I don't know how many people in the world feel they have a "natural" drive to have sex with more partners than 1 at a time, but I am highly skeptical after living in this live nightmare of a community and seeing how terribly so many of them treated themselves and each other in their polyamorous lifestyle- I am skeptical anyone on this planet is evolved enough to be able to have a polyamorous lifestyle and treat themselves and each of their sex partners involved in the polyamorous agreement with the degree of  love, respect, integrity, honesty,clear and frequent communication, and the level of detachment it would take to even make an arrangement like this work in a healthy way!

 

I can't, even if I tried to fully convey to you the degree of the disrespect to other human beings I witnessed living there- or the degree of pain and heartache that I felt in the terrible vibes of that place.

 

A lot of dishonesty, cheating, rage, selfishness, protecting sex abusers (yes I reported anything I found out & the people in the community, well most of them just chose to just be horrible in the way they treated me when I did but I wouldn't have changed my integrity of reporting then or now or ever), and sexual abuse.

 

I am not for treating anyone abusively in any way. I've never hit anyone in my life- though I would in self defense if I had to.  So if someone has a "natural" desire to have more than one sex partner, as I wrote above, I don't think anyone on this planet is evolved enough to do that in a healthy way. If I was born (assuming that this is true) with a natural inner desire to have more than one sex partner, I wouldn't choose to be polyamorous. I would get counseling, and seek support for trying to not give into being with multiple sex partners. I would try to reverse my nature, simply because I wouldn't want anyone that dared to marry me-I would never want to hurt or betray or dishonor or cause them any pain . I feel that would be enough to keep me monygamous, even with polyamorous tendencies.  It would be hard, and I'd have to have a lot of compassion on myself -if I had the courage to have compassion on myself.

 

Polyamorous living doesn't work at all.

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A lot to say on this, but will attempt to give the short version:

 

From being unfortunately deceived by beautiful photos of the jungle of Pahoa on the Big Island of Hawaii, on a website for an intentional community, I went to live there for half a year.

 

Only 1 monagymous couple lived there that I can recollect at this moment.  All the rest of the people were polyamorous. There was one other guy that also came to do the volunteer program at the community that was actually more conservative in his beliefs like I was ( and still am). 

 

It was truly awful to witness so many people disrespecting each other in these polyamorous "relationships". I don't know how many people in the world feel they have a "natural" drive to have sex with more partners than 1 at a time, but I am highly skeptical after living in this live nightmare of a community and seeing how terribly so many of them treated themselves and each other in their polyamorous lifestyle- I am skeptical anyone on this planet is evolved enough to be able to have a polyamorous lifestyle and treat themselves and each of their sex partners involved in the polyamorous agreement with the degree of  love, respect, integrity, honesty,clear and frequent communication, and the level of detachment it would take to even make an arrangement like this work in a healthy way!

 

I can't, even if I tried to fully convey to you the degree of the disrespect to other human beings I witnessed living there- or the degree of pain and heartache that I felt in the terrible vibes of that place.

 

A lot of dishonesty, cheating, rage, selfishness, protecting sex abusers (yes I reported anything I found out & the people in the community, well most of them just chose to just be horrible in the way they treated me when I did but I wouldn't have changed my integrity of reporting then or now or ever), and sexual abuse.

 

I am not for treating anyone abusively in any way. I've never hit anyone in my life- though I would in self defense if I had to.  So if someone has a "natural" desire to have more than one sex partner, as I wrote above, I don't think anyone on this planet is evolved enough to do that in a healthy way. If I was born (assuming that this is true) with a natural inner desire to have more than one sex partner, I wouldn't choose to be polyamorous. I would get counseling, and seek support for trying to not give into being with multiple sex partners. I would try to reverse my nature, simply because I wouldn't want anyone that dared to marry me-I would never want to hurt or betray or dishonor or cause them any pain . I feel that would be enough to keep me monygamous, even with polyamorous tendencies.  It would be hard, and I'd have to have a lot of compassion on myself -if I had the courage to have compassion on myself.

 

Polyamorous living doesn't work at all.

 

Wow. I'm sure that was awful. Yeah, polyamory and "open relationships" have always struck me like a bad joke. People will pay you lip service, but you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

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A lot to say on this, but will attempt to give the short version:

 

From being unfortunately deceived by beautiful photos of the jungle of Pahoa on the Big Island of Hawaii, on a website for an intentional community, I went to live there for half a year.

 

Only 1 monagymous couple lived there that I can recollect at this moment.  All the rest of the people were polyamorous. There was one other guy that also came to do the volunteer program at the community that was actually more conservative in his beliefs like I was ( and still am). 

 

It was truly awful to witness so many people disrespecting each other in these polyamorous "relationships". I don't know how many people in the world feel they have a "natural" drive to have sex with more partners than 1 at a time, but I am highly skeptical after living in this live nightmare of a community and seeing how terribly so many of them treated themselves and each other in their polyamorous lifestyle- I am skeptical anyone on this planet is evolved enough to be able to have a polyamorous lifestyle and treat themselves and each of their sex partners involved in the polyamorous agreement with the degree of  love, respect, integrity, honesty,clear and frequent communication, and the level of detachment it would take to even make an arrangement like this work in a healthy way!

 

I can't, even if I tried to fully convey to you the degree of the disrespect to other human beings I witnessed living there- or the degree of pain and heartache that I felt in the terrible vibes of that place.

 

A lot of dishonesty, cheating, rage, selfishness, protecting sex abusers (yes I reported anything I found out & the people in the community, well most of them just chose to just be horrible in the way they treated me when I did but I wouldn't have changed my integrity of reporting then or now or ever), and sexual abuse.

 

I am not for treating anyone abusively in any way. I've never hit anyone in my life- though I would in self defense if I had to.  So if someone has a "natural" desire to have more than one sex partner, as I wrote above, I don't think anyone on this planet is evolved enough to do that in a healthy way. If I was born (assuming that this is true) with a natural inner desire to have more than one sex partner, I wouldn't choose to be polyamorous. I would get counseling, and seek support for trying to not give into being with multiple sex partners. I would try to reverse my nature, simply because I wouldn't want anyone that dared to marry me-I would never want to hurt or betray or dishonor or cause them any pain . I feel that would be enough to keep me monygamous, even with polyamorous tendencies.  It would be hard, and I'd have to have a lot of compassion on myself -if I had the courage to have compassion on myself.

 

Polyamorous living doesn't work at all.

 

It must have been rough to go through that. I applaud you for standing your ground. One of the best examples of I've seen to stay monogamous.

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