MissTO

Would you marry someone who was deeply in love with you but you are not sure if you are in love with them

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Lets say you know someone in your life who you knew loved you deeply and would do anything for you; was a good friend, nice person, was willing to wait with you but you are not 100% attracted to them and no butterflies in your stomach when you see them. If she or he brought the topic of marriage up. would you marry them? What would u do in that situation?

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If I do not love them 100%, and I am not attracted to them physically, then I would not marry them. Simple as that.

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I am the type of person who only develops sexual attraction after developing a deep emotional connection with the person concerned. Therefore, in this situation, I would absolutely marry them. I couldn't ask for more than to marry someone I know loves me deeply and is a very close friend. It wouldn't bother me that there wasn't an initial spark of attraction because I know for me personally that it will develop later on. 

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It depends. Even if I'm not fully in love with them, but I can see myself being content with her, I'd probably marry her.

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If I see myself happy and content with her. I might marry her but I doubt that will happen. I have arrived at a decision that I will always be a bacholour unlesss someone special turns me around to marriage. I will just forget getting married for now. 

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TBH I don't want to just marry a good friend. If we weren't in a relationship and a good friend asks me to marry them..no. We would have to have been dating/courting a least a year or two and in an established relationship. Also it would be a problem if I wasn't attracted to them by the time marriage was brought up. If I wasn't attracted by then, because I can get attracted to physical through personality sometimes, then honestly I wouldn't want to go deeper- attraction is important

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Well from personal experience that was the case for me. My now husband and I were already dating and I cared about him and loved but was not "in love" with him the way he was with me. He was head over heels crazy in love and very attached to me. We ended up getting married and the "in love" feeling came after marriage. I am now in love with him and man, you guys, I understand why people say pre-marital relations does make a difference because it does! Like, before my husband and I got married, sure I had kissed or made out before but going all the way whoa that is totally different like you truely become one and are like glue. So, personally, for me I've become into my husband in a way never before and so I can say the "in love" feeling wasn't there before but now after marriage it's totally there!!!!♥

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I guess I best follow the saying: Don't necessarily marry the person you love, but love the person you marry.

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Hmmmmm no not on first thought here. However a long friendship to see it develops is cool. As said above opinions and attraction change after time.

Happy Friday. Col xx

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If I knew I wasn't physcially attracted enough to them, then I wouldn't. I'm not the type of person where loving their personality makes much of a difference when it comes to how physically attracted to them I am. I might be more attracted to them, in a general way, but it doesn't make me much more physically attratced to them (if I hate their personality I'm less attracted to a girl, though. It just doesn't go both ways for me. Even then I'm not less physically attracted to them, per se, but their personality makes me overlook how physically good looking they might be).

 

Now, if we're talking about only personality connection and loving them, but not being in love with them, then that's a little tougher. At the end of the day, I think I need to be some at least a little in love with them. Maybe if I'm older and still single I'll feel differently, but right now I would need to be at least a little in love. Maybe I need to be even more in love than that. I haven't dated yet, so I probably don't yet quite know how important it is to me.

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I think the question would be would he really want to marry me knowing how I feel? If he really wants to marry me despite that, I would definitely accept him to be my loving husband. Love is more than just butterflies in stomach, and I believe it is something that develops by time when you spend years together. If he is a good, respectful, god fearing man, who could be a better husband then? Someone who would take care of me no matter what. How could I not love this man by time? I believe I would be very happy in this kind of marriage. :) 

 

Also physical attraction from my apart comes from feelings and respect. Not from looks that much. If I respect someone very much and see these good qualities, I would be attracted. 

 

We might fall in love with the wrong person. This person might not be good at all. That's why I don't always trust in that feeling. I prefer to marry someone I'm sure would be good to me. Love will come later, I mean the real kind of love. :)

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If you're not 100% attracted to a suitor, it's not worth it.

And it's not wise to be alone with a member of the opposite sex; I believe in courting, and non married totally abstinent people( not even masturbation ) should never be alone together in any place, until they're married.

And why is it not wise to be alone with a member of the opposite sex? Anyone with any amount of self control could be alone with a person of different sex.

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Lets say you know someone in your life who you knew loved you deeply and would do anything for you; was a good friend, nice person, was willing to wait with you but you are not 100% attracted to them and no butterflies in your stomach when you see them. If she or he brought the topic of marriage up. would you marry them? What would u do in that situation?

It depends. If I was in mid to late 30s, then yes. I've never been in this situation, but I have been in the reverse. But I wouldn't let him settle for me until he was similarily late in years.

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Well some people have self control. Alone time, which I believe is important to a relationship, doesn't mean time to have sex and like I said before..self control is what many waiters seem to have..

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I think the question would be would he really want to marry me knowing how I feel? If he really wants to marry me despite that, I would definitely accept him to be my loving husband. Love is more than just butterflies in stomach, and I believe it is something that develops by time when you spend years together. If he is a good, respectful, god fearing man, who could be a better husband then? Someone who would take care of me no matter what. How could I not love this man by time? I believe I would be very happy in this kind of marriage. :)

 

Agreed. Of course how you feel about a person is important, but if relationships were based on feeling or at least largely based on them, then no marriage would last. Love is more than a feeling, it's a choice. You're not going to have the butterfly feelings for your spouse forever, especially once the honeymoon phase is over. When that time comes, it's going to be the commitment that holds a marriage together.

 

If I found a girl who is a Christian with good values who is committed to loving me and whom I'm at least somewhat attracted to, then I would consider myself blessed beyond belief. 

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Because I'd imagine that's the foundation of successful marriage built upon trust, love, acceptance, friendship, mutual feelings you know.

So in a way I'd almost say no, as how could feelings be mutual if only one person was "deeply" in love.

But then if my friend loved me that deeply, and wanted to marry me, then probably yes I would.

Not as like settling as I've kinda gotten the undertones from what's been said.

But that if she loved me, and deeply I might add, how could I not love her also you know.

Now with that being said, does this friend meet my other "requirements", I.E.

Being a Devoted Christian, willing to work with and in our community, does she like some of the same things I do.

You see at least for me marriage wouldn't be about the butterflies and initial attraction. But rather the foundation of building something that will stand the test of time.

Cause as we all know those butterflies and all that will fade, maybe after years and years, but it will.

And/Or on some days you'll love that person dearly and on others you're sleeping in sperate bedrooms you know.

(I saw that thread)

But to conclude, it would depend on if my friend was a good pick overall.

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No. I don't want to marry a woman I do not love. I don't want to have a wife I don't love. Love is the very essence of what a marriage is about. If do not love her then the farthest that relationship is going to go will be friendship.

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