nikki08

regrets about past sexual history?

22 posts in this topic

lol, i didnt know how to word the question. But like I'm waiting until I get married to have sex, I'm 23 btw, but I've done everything but sex, because when I was younger I didnt really know God, and all my friends had had sex and I guess I didnt want to feel to "weird" or w/e. But I still never had sex with anyone because in highschool, I wanted to be in love before I had sex, and that didnt happen, and after highschool I though I waited so long, I might as well wait until I get married because It will be so special to be with just the person you marry, and Then once I really Got to know God and started having a relationship with him I decided it's 100 percent what i want to do, and i wish I would have waited on everything, but like i want to marry someone thats also a virgin, but if someone is a virgin and waiting until marriage, then he's probably tottaly a virgin. So I guess my question is, do you think a virgin guy whos waiting until marriage will still think its special even though I've done everything else with someone else, or just feel like theyre being with someone who didnt wait?

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The way I look at it, its the waiting now not what has happened in the past I've done pretty much everything else as well not proud of it.

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Yes, I think that a girl who waited for sex is very noble and special. I myself are as you said a total virgin by choice. I just want a serious relationship based on love and that is why I never dated in high school or college 

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Yes he would. If he doesn't find it special then he's the wrong guy. At 22 I'm waiting and like you said totally a virgin, but there are things in this world more important than virginity. The girl for example is more important than her virgin status.

When it comes to love I'll love her even if she has lost her virginity completely. If I am in love with her, then I will love her unconditionally. To not love her because she's not a virgin would be conditional and unloving.

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Agree with @Weappn X views that it's noble and special if the girl waited because she values virginity and a relationship based on love. I would love no matter if she is a virgin or not unconditional. As long she is a non smoker , non drinker and do not use drugs. I will very happy and content to spend the rest of life with her because I will always love her. 

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It depends on the guy. For some guys, doing a ton of stuff with another guy (even if it's not sex) is too much and they would not be happy or fulfilled with a girl like that. It doesn't mean the guy or girl in the situation is bad or wrong. It just means the two people are not right for one another.

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First welcome to the site/community

You know many of "us" began that way in high school.

Romantics we'll call us, ...

And when we look ahead or rather back at the decisions our friends from high school have made and the outcome of those decisions.

That's one reason why many in their 20's have begun to choose abstinence until marriage.

I'm glad you found God or rather as this verse suggests;

Galatians 4:9(A)

New Living Translation (NLT)

So now that you know God (or should I say, now that God knows you), ....

Finally to address your question;

So I guess my question is, do you think a virgin guy whos waiting until marriage will still think its special even though I've done everything else with someone else, or just feel like theyre being with someone who didnt wait?

First a guy who loves you, respects you and will accept you for who you are.

Not so much what you've done or haven't.

This is regardless of if you were WTM or not.

Secondly, and this kinda rubbed me a bit the wrong way.

My apology if this comes across the "wrong" way.

However why do you assume that simply because a guy is waiting that he's gotta be a total virgin.

Not that being totally virgin is a bad thing, I honestly wish that I was.

But simply because a guy is waiting doesn't mean he's sitting up in his room playing video games, eating hot pockets and not experiencing the dating scene at all.

By the way, that's an extreme case, and definitely nothing wrong with the above scenario.

As I do enjoy both of those.

But what I'm saying is there are waiters of each category and belief.

Some are choosing to wait for their very first kiss, which is awesome.

Some of us have dated, but just keep our pants on you know.

That dating doesn't have to lead to home base.

And a relationship doesn't have to lead to a sexual relationship.

I'm glad you've joined us here, and I hope you enjoy this season of waiting in your life.

Have a blessed day!

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Thank you everyone that answered me :) and rookiepilot1 I just meant they were probably better at waiting or w/e. like everyone i know has either had sex, or if they are waiting theyre waiting for everything. so i feel like a in the middle person, like someone whos not waiting thinks im too inexperienced (not the right word, but i cant think of the right word.lol) and someone whos waiting will think im too experienced.

 

sorry if I offended you, i wasnt saying it in a bad way, i was saying it in a im bad and theyre good way.lol

 

:)

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However why do you assume that simply because a guy is waiting that he's gotta be a total virgin.

Not that being totally virgin is a bad thing, I honestly wish that I was.

But simply because a guy is waiting doesn't mean he's sitting up in his room playing video games, eating hot pockets and not experiencing the dating scene at all.

 

 

I think you're reading way too much into what she said. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that someone waiting until marriage has a threshold sexually that they will not cross, whether or not the aforementioned is true or not. She was merely juxtaposing her situation (originally she wasn't really a waiter), with a guy who has been a waiter his whole life, and thus, is less likely to have allowed himself to do everything other than sex. To me that's a fair assumption, regardless of whether it's true.

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I'm in the same boat as you experience-wise Nikki but I think waiting on everything with that special someone will make everything special :D Ive worried about that too though that if I married a non-virgin they would be bored with having sex and it would feel like Im catching up to their level which is why I would prefer a virgin. But dont worry you saved the best for last :D

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You're welcome @nikki08 I am inexperienced and would prefer a girl who is waiting because I know she value other stuff more than sex

Thank you everyone that answered me :) and rookiepilot1 I just meant they were probably better at waiting or w/e. like everyone i know has either had sex, or if they are waiting theyre waiting for everything. so i feel like a in the middle person, like someone whos not waiting thinks im too inexperienced (not the right word, but i cant think of the right word.lol) and someone whos waiting will think im too experienced.

 

sorry if I offended you, i wasnt saying it in a bad way, i was saying it in a im bad and theyre good way.lol

 

:)

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Nikki are you waiting on everything now? Because if you are that's all that matters.

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Nikki, I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I have done things over the past few months that I'm not proud of. I've never actually had intercourse (although I've done other things...), but I am still waiting. I just need to get my sh*t together. 

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I am guy is a similar position who never had sexual intercourse. I just waiting and see what happen

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yes I am

and thank you everyone and im glad im not the only one.lol

congrats on waiting

I too am waiting for everything and hope to get married before I'm 38.

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@nikki08 the guy you marry will be very lucky and wish the best of luck in your search.

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I don't have a sexual past in the sense of doing anything physically intimate with someone else. But I have struggled with porn and masturbation. I've seen countless women naked whom I don't even know their names. In my mind, that alone is a grave offense to my future wife as she should be the only woman I ever see naked. That struggle has given me a distorted view of what female beauty is all about. I may be physically as virgin as they come but I am far from pure in my heart and mind.  I'm not proud of my struggle but I intend to beat this completely.

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I don't have a sexual past in the sense of doing anything physically intimate with someone else. But I have struggled with porn and masturbation. I've seen countless women naked whom I don't even know their names. In my mind, that alone is a grave offense to my future wife as she should be the only woman I ever see naked. That struggle has given me a distorted view of what female beauty is all about. I may be physically as virgin as they come but I am far from pure in my heart and mind.  I'm not proud of my struggle but I intend to beat this completely.

What about unintentional nudity? Imagine you walked in on your friends going at it. Does that count?

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What about unintentional nudity? Imagine you walked in on your friends going at it. Does that count?

 

Mirage, you struck a chord without realizing it. I have walked into two friends going at it. Apparently they didn't expect me over for dinner so soon, so they decided to some sexy time before hand. Moral of the story: Always arrive on time. No later or sooner. I will hold this over the both of them for the rest of our lives :P

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I am a 48 yr old non virgin, divorcee

 

I decided a few years ago that I would WTM before I would have sex again.  

 

I stand firm in that decision.

 

My future husband will not only have to wait until marriage for sex, but I have felt a strong conviction to wait until our wedding day to share our first kiss.

 

@Nikki ~ Forgive yourself for your past sexual indiscretions

and like Pumbaa says in Lion King "you got to put your behind in the past"...lol

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