countryboy4ever

doesnt any girl think im worth dating?

13 posts in this topic

im finding it soo hard trying to find someone who will even give me a chance at being their boyfriend. i honestly wish i had found a girl in high school, it might of made things a lot easier but it seems in this day in age your either everything or nothing. i know i should let God direct me to the right one but it seems that coming across a virgin is slim pickens these days. i am a very shy person which hinders me quite a bit i know, ive tried okcupid and even the gutter aka craigslist and a bunch of other places to find someone but no luck. i know i have to be patient but its truly difficult, i think the main thing that aggravates me more than anything is the silence i get. you can pick and choose what part of this topic you wanna give your opinion on or advice. what i mean by silence is when im chatting with a girl and somewhere along the line she loses interest, i never hear from her again. im saying this to all women please tell guys when you lose interest, i think it is so cold for someone to leave you in the dark. ive had this happen to me multiple times already, im chatting with a girl and its seems like everything going great then all of a sudden poof i get nothing. please girls have the nerve to tell a guy, yeah it will prolly sting him a little but at least it gives us some kinda closure on the matter. within the last two weeks two girls have done this to me and more so beforehand. one girl messaged me and i replied she told me a little about herself and i replied again after that no answer back. i don't know what in the world she learned in one message that turned her away, maybe i was too nice i don't know but that's my personality. the other girl we talked for about a week everything seemed it was going great she even said i hope things work out between us then poof silence, tried to contact her on facebook and she unfriended me and im just like wow it felt like someone just opened the freezer door it got cold fast. anyway i don't wanna make this too long but yeah id like to hear from both sides on this cuz ive heard some girls deal with the same issue.

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I have dealt with the same silence issue. I've had guys that are even the ones who started chatting with me and we'll chat for a few months even hang out in person and all of a sudden, they drop me with no explanation. It is frustrating and I tend to blame it on myself even though it could have been all them.  The unknown can be frustrating but we must move on. You'll find someone some day. Maybe try somewhere besides the internet?  

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Country boy...I read your profile but I noticed you have a lot of masculine interests (hunting, fishing...) where it's hard to meet women. You might try expanding your interests/activities with the goal of simply enjoying the experience, making some new friends and hopefully there will be more women at these events. For instance, I actually hear going to get a mani pedi (surprisingly enough) is a great way for guys to not only meet women but also to relax and it's mostly all females at the nail salon. In addition you will appear to be well groomed and girls like that in a guy that he takes care of himself. Do you like art or music? Going to these types of events or even taking your dog to the beach could be a good way to meet people. Go where the ladies are at and sign up for a class or something and explore your feminine side and maybe this will help you run into your future wife :)

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@onelovelybroad: are you seriously asking me to get a pedicure or manicure ha ha ha ha apparently you missed the part of me being a country boy not a pretty boy, but you made me laugh none the less. im not a clean spotless pretty boy ok, im a rough rugged country boy looking for a country girl whos just as rugged, im not looking for no beauty queen. thanks for your input though and I actually do think that maybe im actually too much of a softy, yeah I have a rough outside and do a lot with my hands and actually like being dirty. but when it comes to feelings and relationships im a bit of a softy, I have a big heart and never wanna hurt a soul no matter what they might do to hurt me. even after all the mistreatment ive had from these insensitive women, ive kept my cool and I don't blow up. yeah I was mad but I control what I say and not say everything im thinking, cuz a lot of times if you say everything you think then later youll regret it but you cant take it back.

 

@Nicole: thanks for your input as well believe me I know I have to step out on a limb and meet and talk to people in person, but for me that is the toughest thing for me to do. all my life ive never talked to girls much and when I did it was always for general reasons never anything more, I chose the online route cuz people get to know the real me before meeting me and they know why im quiet. if I spend enough time with someone im sure to open up its just that very beginning that's rough and I know everyone goes through that but for me it seems a lot tougher. also for me to build the courage to not only talk to a girl right off the bat but to ask her out takes a loooong time, ive done it before and it took me a good part of a school year and where did it get me nowhere and I ended up broken hearted. to me I feel since I wear my heart on my sleeve most the time, going online I leave my heart out of it till I know more about the person then if I get turned down in that time frame it doesn't hurt so bad and I didn't waste all that time trying to think what to say just to hear the word no. personally talking to someone on the street whom you don't know anything about seems crazy to me, your going at it blindly at least chatting with someone a little you know a little about who they are before actually meeting them in person.

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I agree that like @countryboy4ever its easier to talks to people online. I also found it hard to talk to girls due to my shyness . I did have some girlfriends in high school but they just dated me to get back at their ex which was so annoying and I was left heartbroken. After moving here, I have increased in my non smoking and non drinking stance because I go to Walmart or a gas station and see the fags(English slang for cigs). I think to myself why would you smoke or drink and damage your liver and body.

I personally am getting closer to the big 3 0 and wonder what I will do.

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I know how you feel bro. I'm shy as well and in the same predicament. I've tried online dating before and have gotten a few responses, but most just cut me off after awhile.

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Thats seriously what I hear from guys though!!! Lol cuz theres no competition theres its ALL females. All Im saying is go where there's females. Haha

Maybe church related functions or a horse show then? That's country :)

As far as your shyness though...You should practice making jokes if you think of something funny in the situation you see a girl so its not awkward like if you see a girl at Starbucks or something...don't think "Oh shoot this girls cute, I have to get her number" Just crack jokes and get comfortable talking to people just being yourself :) And it could lead to something more

For me Im really shy but it's like I have like a switch I use to act not like myself I can't really explain it. Basically Im a really curious person and it takes me a couple seconds to work up the courage to say something to someone even if its like "Wow I love your purse! Where did you get it?" If someone has a cool purse. But it's like I let my curiosity drive me to where I focus on "Where did she get that purse?" Versus "Im scared to talk to this stranger" and I focus on the curiosity and let it overtake the shyness if that makes sense? Haha

But yeah only you know what drives you whether it's curiosity or something else. If any of that doesn't help then oh well I wish you the best of luck haha.

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I tried online dating once earlier in the year and got scammed immediately.I just forget the online dating and concrete on waiting for her. Something will turn up eventually. 

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Crack jokes, That a laugh(no pun intended), I inherited my dad's serious side.Got to move out of my parents house and get as far away from them as possible.  I can't crack jokes even if I try. If I do see a nice girl at Starbucks, I can't just walk to her. She will just run away :(

As far as your shyness though...You should practice making jokes if you think of something funny in the situation you see a girl so its not awkward like if you see a girl at Starbucks or something...don't think "Oh shoot this girls cute, I have to get her number" Just crack jokes and get comfortable talking to people just being yourself :) And it could lead to something more

 

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Thats seriously what I hear from guys though!!! Lol cuz theres no competition theres its ALL females. All Im saying is go where there's females. Haha

 

 

There's definitely something to be said for going to a predominately female activity where you will be the token guy.  My high school offered dance classes and allowed students to take the class to satisfy either their Fine Arts or Physical Education requirements.  I took dance all four years of high school.  I didn't really follow our school's sports teams (despite the fact that I was on the school Dance Team and performed at football and basketball games; I never paid much attention to whether we won or lost).  To this day (and even back then) I honestly couldn't have picked most of the male athletes out of a lineup, much less could I tell you their names... EXCEPT for the guys who took dance class for their Fine Arts requirement (obviously playing a sport satisfied their P.E. requirement). 

 

It's been over a decade since I graduated from high school and the names and faces of the guys who took dance class are still chiseled in stone in my mind's eye... in a good way!  Seriously, whenever a guy would walk into the dance studio on the first day of school each year, my (and the other girls') inner monologue was, "A guy! Squee! And I think he's straight! Double squee! And he's interested in dance! Triple squee!"

 

I'm not saying you have to enroll in ballet classes (but if you do, you could end up like this guy! ;) ), I'm just saying that Onelovelybroad has a point with her suggestion to go where the girls are (and the guys aren't!). :D

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@tinydancer: yeah no remember country boy here not pretty boy, country boys might square dance but definitely not ballet. besides I know how those things work out you go and pick up a more feminine activity and if you don't go at it just perfectly your screwed. heres what I mean if you go at it acting straight youll be seen as a creep trailing for booty or if your too friendly youll be labeled as gay. theres really know right way to go at it unless your one of those tall dark and handsome fellas that have big muscles, even if there was a way to do it I wouldn't be caught dead in one of them places. women that want a girly pretty boy go ahead get am em but girls that want a manly man im over here lol. I have to admit something though I do sorta have a just a little tiny bit of a feminine side and im not adding anymore to it, I maybe viewed as gay but I assure you im not ok. ok so my mom did sorta teach me how to crochet a little a while back, I do get emotional during movies and with music as well, also I like female artists from the 80s like Madonna, paula Abdul, the go gos, pat benatar, theres others but I cant think of em right now.

 

that's good enough for me, oh and you wanna hear something funny so I think most who watch the walking dead know the marathon is on before the season 4 begins. well I was watching the marathon and ive seen most the episodes but for some stupid reason at the dramatic moments in the episodes it still choked me up a little. I was talking to myself saying you big dummy whatch getting choked up for you know what happens and how things turn out you've already seen this, explain that to me why do you get emotional on a scene from a show that you've seen before or know the outcome?

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@tinydancer: yeah no remember country boy here not pretty boy, country boys might square dance but definitely not ballet. besides I know how those things work out you go and pick up a more feminine activity and if you don't go at it just perfectly your screwed. heres what I mean if you go at it acting straight youll be seen as a creep trailing for booty or if your too friendly youll be labeled as gay. theres really know right way to go at it unless your one of those tall dark and handsome fellas that have big muscles, even if there was a way to do it I wouldn't be caught dead in one of them places. women that want a girly pretty boy go ahead get am em but girls that want a manly man im over here lol. I have to admit something though I do sorta have a just a little tiny bit of a feminine side and im not adding anymore to it, I maybe viewed as gay but I assure you im not ok. ok so my mom did sorta teach me how to crochet a little a while back, I do get emotional during movies and with music as well, also I like female artists from the 80s like Madonna, paula Abdul, the go gos, pat benatar, theres others but I cant think of em right now.

 

Tip: What guys think doesn't actually matter when surrounded by beautiful women. 

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I’m single virgin guy and I’m seriously addicted to masturbate in bed while watching porn on my phone every night in bed cuz i feel lonely and horny all the time but when i’m outside, i’m extremely shy and can’t even make eye contact with any female. I think i’m extremely picky about choosing the right girl for commitment, that made me not to even try for making a gf, I ignore all females thinking that she’s not the right one for me and she’ll dump me in near future, I have lotz of anxiety and depression, except all the above, i’m perfectly clean, healthy, fit and in shape, no any other problems, is it normal..?

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