Lorraine

Relationship with a non-waiter

4 posts in this topic

So I'm waiting until marriage and my boyfriend has had sex before.  He knows I'm wtm but still makes it very obvious he wants to have sex.  I have considered it, I'm not going to but I have considered it.  It is wrong for me to think I could possibly be more willing if he hadn't had sex before.  The thought of doing it with him when he has done it with other more experienced girls bothers me.  I really don't know what to tell him to get across the fact that it is never going to happen before I am married.  Has anyone else ever had this problem or have any advice?

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Be in a relationship with someone who shares the same morals as you. Your partner should be encouraging you to remain pure and not waiting for you to give in. 

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Hi Lorraine - so what's really underneath your question is the choice that you indirectly face...   to wait with him, to wait without him or to not wait.   I think this dilemma probably faces an awful lot of people - not matter what age they are - but it's at the root of choice-making that many people go through.

 

i for one anticipated that by the time i made out of college I would more than likely date women who had not waited.  I would look for similar values - and I always did.   Sometimes i found a woman with the same values... but not one with whom i had some sort of connection really.   In the end I found a woman who shared my value with me, but had made a different choice before meeting me.  I had a choice to make with her...  and I was very fortunate to be able to work through that with her... and in the end to wait with her (even though she had not previously waited).

 

I just think that no matter which path ahead - you should be talking actively about it... bec the choice you make together either brings you closer together, or takes you apart (either slowly or quickly).   And you owe it to yourself to figure that out with him. 

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If it bothers you that he's had sex with other women, maybe you shouldn't be planning a future with him at all. Also you don't need someone like that because its just going to be you compromising yourself and if that's what he wants let him find that with someone else.

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