wny

Anything you would Rather be less Picky about?

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Is there anything you look for in a potential husband or wife that you are very picky about, but you would rather not be so picky about? This does not mean you think it is neccessarily wrong or immoral to be picky about what you are picky about, but just for whatever reason you would rather not be as picky as you are about the particular thing (and maybe you're fine with being picky about it, but would rather be less picky).

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I'm not exactly picky about this, but I wish looks was not a deal breaker for me. There are lots of amazing people out there that would otherwise be very compatible with me except that I'm not attracted to them. It just feels like a shallow thing to get in the way of a potentially amazing relationship. But I've accepted that its just human nature. Though I try not to be picky in that regard either.

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I could do with being less worried about their looks, but Im glad I do have some requirements for that (Don't care if anyone considers it shallow).

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Great question, wny! This is a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately.

 

I'm teetotal, and I really, really, really would prefer to marry someone who doesn't drink. But finding someone who does not consume alcohol at least occasionally is truly proving harder than finding someone who is waiting until marriage for sex. I am currently trying to decide whether this is a standard I could relax, at least a little bit, but it is very hard for me, because it has been a dealbreaker for the longest time. It is hard to imagine letting go of this issue. So this is an area in which I am very picky, and I wish my feelings were not as strong as they are. If I could dial down the amount that I care about this, I would, because it is not making my life easy.

 

But yeah, there definitely are several things that I care too much about, things that should not necessarily make or break everything, that I find myself being quite picky about, like not wanting to be older than a guy. I really wish I could throw things like that out the window, because I do not even agree with them logically, but it is like I have this gut reaction that I cannot conquer with reason alone.

 

And then of course, there are the areas in which I am picky, but feel justified in my pickiness, like wanting a guy of the same faith. I am fine with being particular about some things like that, as big issues like these can have a huge impact on marital felicity.

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As a tea and coffee drinker I would really prefer to marry someone who don't drink any alcohol or smoke because I am never have and will never start due to the knowing the dangers and damage it cause to the body. I know that finding a girl who don't drink any alcohol is so hard to find nowadays especially one who are of Hindu religion. 

 

I would also be less picky on the age of my wife but that is just due to my personal beliefs. I prefer someone who it at least 2 years younger than me. 

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I agree with @WW that it's hard to find people who don't drink any alcohol. I must be a rare person. At least if my wife drinks, I can always be a designated driver when we are ready to go home. 

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Can't say that there are any issues I wish I was less picky about. What I desire in someone is the result of my being true to myself: Knowing myself enough to know what I look for in the opposite sex.

 

I also think I'm not overly picky about some things that others are, so it all kinda balances itself out.

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Can't say that there are any issues I wish I was less picky about. What I desire in someone is the result of my being true to myself: Knowing myself enough to know what I look for in the opposite sex.

 

 

The question doesn't necessarily mean it's somethng you can change, just that maybe you would rather be less picky about it. To put it another way, it would mean being able to not be as picky about something and still being true to yourself. Like, "Hey, it would be nice if I wasn't as picky about this, but I am and that's just me." All of this being said, there still might not be anything you would rather be less picky about.

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Another good topic

Good job WNY

I'm not so sure about being picky.

I'm very open-minded when it comes to looks (either aesthetic or natural), race I'm really open there.

About the only thing I'm a stickler about is that well two somewhat major things.

So I guess I'm picky, but I see it as selective.

First a Christian, I'm somewhat open to faith, but she's kinda gotta believe that Christ lived, died and rose again!

Basic faith tenements of Christianity you know.

Secondly, her heart

Is she a caring, confident, open kinda person.

I can't really be less picky about those two things.

The rest I've left up to God above.

Okay I got one, I'd kinda like my wife to be a housewife and let me be the "breadwinner".

However I'd also appreciate she's probably worked very hard towards earning an education for herself also.

So in 'compromise', maybe she could just work part-time.

We'll see!

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I am a very picky person. And there is nothing I want to change about that. 

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I am worried I might be too picky and might not find a girl who waited like me. All I ask for is a girl who is a non smoker and does not drink alcohol. If she is a virgin it would be a plus. Due to this I might stay bachelor forever because I can't find the girl I am seeking. 

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Thanks for the replies everyone. To add to the conversation, I'll share where I am at in regards to this. I currently don't have anything that I would rather be less picky about, but I'm worried I might get to the point where I'm pickier than I would like to be. The two areas where most people would probably say I'm pickiest is wanting a girl who has done incredibly little sexually (never made out, never heavily cuddled) and looks (want to not just think she is attractive-want her to look great). Now, I'm fine with these two things. But, I worry I'm starting to get pickier with looks. I don't think I really want to get to the point where I essentially want only a model, only a 10 out 10, only a...whatever, I think you all get the point.

 

Honestly, I think part of it might be an ego thing (Keep in mind I'm saying PART of it, not all of it....other things come into play). I want to prove that I would be able to get such a girl to want me. I don't consider myself a hyper-competitive person, but there are certain other areas of my life where I'm similar in wanting to prove things, wanting to do it it in part to satisfy my ego. The other part of it might be similar to my wanting a great looking girl, but just putting that desire on steroids. I want a great looking girl because I don't want to die without ever having sex with a girl I think looks great and am highly physically attracted to (It's a huge desire of mine and one that I'm fine with). Now, put this desire on steroids and it turns into not wanting to die without ever having sex with that 10 out of 10 type girl. This is a desire that I'm not that sure is really a huge one of mine, but one that I worry might be turning into one.

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On 9/22/2013 at 0:44 AM, WanderingWashingtonian said:

Great question, wny! This is a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately.

I'm teetotal, and I really, really, really would prefer to marry someone who doesn't drink. But finding someone who does not consume alcohol at least occasionally is truly proving harder than finding someone who is waiting until marriage for sex. I am currently trying to decide whether this is a standard I could relax, at least a little bit, but it is very hard for me, because it has been a dealbreaker for the longest time. It is hard to imagine letting go of this issue. So this is an area in which I am very picky, and I wish my feelings were not as strong as they are. If I could dial down the amount that I care about this, I would, because it is not making my life easy.

I totally agree. I'm a teetotaler and I am against smoking.  Completely impossible seeming to find someone who never does either. 

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