thatgirlbrenda

THE HONEYMOON IS OVER...

28 posts in this topic

So you found her...swept her off her feet and married her!! Congrats!! :wub:  

 

The honeymoon is over and now it's back to reality...

 

What's your take on household chores?

Are you going to be elbow deep in soapy dish water helping with the dishes?

Do you iron?

Will you kill all of the creepy crawlys or will she have to scrape you of the ceiling?

Are household chores for women and you will maintain the yard?

 

Checking account...joint or seperate?

Whose paying the bills? Do you split them down the middle?

If shes a stay-at-home Mom, does she get an allowance?

 

Those babies come and

Whose changeing the diapers?

Will you get up for the 12am feeding, and the 2am and 4 am??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I'd like my wife to do the cooking...cuz I can't. I can iron, wash dishes, vacuum. Not sure about house cleaning; we'll have to discuss that.

 

Never thought about accounts.

 

I guess I'm gonna have to learn to change a diaper, and I hope we can take turns waking up in the middle of the night.

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I'm fine doing what ever as long as I'm asked to do it.. I'm not really one of those people that can look at things and know exactly what needs to be done.

I've never really thought about accounts, as long as I'm allowed to buy what I want car wise I'm fine :P

She won't be allowed to be a stay at home mom.

And hopefully we can take turns waking up in the night.

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Ok here we go. Answer from a Brit he he.

Household chores.

I hoover once a day and on a Friday I ( with a glass of wine to help me ) clean the kitchen from top to bottom, shelves, fridge the lot.

It there is washing up to do i do it. Its sort of shared. Not keen on dishwashers as we have a fair bit of crystal.

We dont Iron much but its shared.

Yep I do all the spiders and crawling thngs but they are taken outside to play there.

Garden/yard is joint

I have always been the main bread winner and the only one now although semi retired. So I made the decision that accounts were joint as I dont think she should have to ask for money. When she first got pregnant I made this decision as I saw the start of me being the bread winner.

I pay the main bills but she pays some odd ones out of the joint account

I always have and will continue to make sure she has plenty of cash in her purse I check this daily and do it without any song and dance she basically thinks a money fairy tops it up. Ha ha.

Yep I did my share of changing the "nappies/daipers". Would still do if another came along but sadly thats only my wish ooooops

Feeds,,, Interesting one I would have helped if I could have !!! Both children breast fed until they were four.

Ok answers from across the pond. He he.

Take care. Col x

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good question!

i want to be a stay at home mom one day. so cleaning, cooking, ironing, laundry, taking care of the children [when my husbands not home] etc......will be my duties.

and yes i do want an allowance :) 

in my opinion: mowing the lawn, changing the car oil, killing insects is a mans job :] 

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I suppose we'll just split house chores depending on our strengths and preferences. I am pretty flexible on the chores I can tolerate with the exception of child rearing. I'm not a fan of that. I don't mind killing creepy crawlers as long as I get more sex for it :D

 

Checking account...joint or seperate? Joint. I'm a firm believer in being accountable to each other financially and no big decisions should be made without the other's input. What is mine is hers and what is hers is mine.

 

Whose paying the bills? Do you split them down the middle? Depends on our financial situation. Ideally I would while she stays home with the kids but it's just a preference. If we needed two incomes then we both would split them.

 

If shes a stay-at-home Mom, does she get an allowance? Of course! As I said, what is hers is mine and what is mine is hers. Obviously for most big purchases, it should be a joint agreement. However, I would want to set aside some money each month that she can spend on whatever she wants. 

 

Those babies come and

Whose changing the diapers? Mostly her I hope. But when we're both home, we'll alternate depending on the situation I guess.

 

Will you get up for the 12am feeding, and the 2am and 4 am?? See above.

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Wait, the honeymoon ends??

 

What's your take on household chores?

Apparently this is a common point of tension in marriages. I find this ridiculous. I really hope I marry someone as laid back as I am about this kind of thing. Let the house get a little messy during the week and then just clean for a few hours on the weekend...doesn't seem that difficult, but maybe I'm naive. Cooking can be divided up as needed.

 

Checking account...joint or seperate? Separate if we each have a job (I think this strengthens trust and reduces pressure). Maybe even if we don't and I'll funnel her a salary for working around the house and staying sexy.

Whose paying the bills? Whoever is most organized will do the paperwork and the money will come from each proportionally (if she works).

If shes a stay-at-home Mom, does she get an allowance? See above!

 

Those babies come and

Whose changeing the diapers? The robot maid I'm going to build. Ah, I guess we'll take turns.

Will you get up for the 12am feeding, and the 2am and 4 am?? Well, if she breast feeds, which she hopefully will, I might get up with her for moral support. ^-^ 

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Ok here we go. Answer from a Brit he he.

Feeds,,, Interesting one I would have helped if I could have !!! Both children breast fed until they were four.

 

 

I breast fed, but for just a few months and we "pumped" regularly so my husband could share in the feeding. Feeding offers such a wonderful bonding time. I would encourage Dads to participate!

 

Lucky Lady has a money fairy!! I'd sure love one of those ;)

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I'd do 20% housework. I'll do all the manly stuff and occassionaly cook and use it as an excuse to learn from her and get closer.

 

She will ALWAYS change diapers. I'm not doing that and if she tells me to do it, I'll just say "NO!"

 

When she will be doing the dishes, I'll just stand around and chat her up and make fun of her.

 

Job, I'll make sure that when I come home, she will be at home by that time. I would love to come home to a nice, sweet and sexy lady who makes me fresh and feel welcomed. So she should work less hours than me.

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I breast fed, but for just a few months and we "pumped" regularly so my husband could share in the feeding. Feeding offers such a wonderful bonding time. I would encourage Dads to participate!

 

Lucky Lady has a money fairy!! I'd sure love one of those ;)

He he yes feeding time is amazing isn it and a couple of months breast feeding is amazng too blooming well done getting more and more rare over here. The more chaps get involved in the nitty gritty the better.

All part of bonding as well. Im pretty close to my daughter 14. and son 6. Both get lots of cuddles and when that happens any relationship un compatabillities are insignificant

Hmmm the money fairy has been usefull this Summer break ! I played on my sailing boat with Henry whilst the Females went to Rome....to help with the school project. Venice......... Hmmmmm another school project ! And the last two days London on our doorstep... Forget what that was for. But hey has to be some benefits to havn an older Daddy ha ha .

Half blood prince. Ooooooooo if said wife is at home caring for the children, makin your meals, keeping the house clean, Dont always expect her to be at her best. Its a big job they have !! Depends of course if family help.

Take care. Col ....

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I'd do 20% housework. I'll do all the manly stuff and occassionaly cook and use it as an excuse to learn from her and get closer.

 

She will ALWAYS change diapers. I'm not doing that and if she tells me to do it, I'll just say "NO!"

 

When she will be doing the dishes, I'll just stand around and chat her up and make fun of her.

 

Job, I'll make sure that when I come home, she will be at home by that time. I would love to come home to a nice, sweet and sexy lady who makes me fresh and feel welcomed. So she should work less hours than me.

Well, you may have to look hard to find a woman like that. If you don't want to do those things, why should she?

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Well, you may have to look hard to find a woman like that. If you don't want to do those things, why should she?

 

I think it depends on one's culture. For example, most of the women from the culture that I'm from pretty much fit the description of what Half-Blood Prince wants. So I don't think it'll be that hard for him to find, lol.

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I think it depends on one's culture. For example, most of the women from the culture that I'm from pretty much fit the description of what Half-Blood Prince wants. So I don't think it'll be that hard for him to find, lol.

That's true. I was just pointing out that if it's something he doesn't want to do, he might want to consider sharing the burden. But I respect that some women do want to do those things.

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That's true. I was just pointing out that if it's something he doesn't want to do, he might want to consider sharing the burden. But I respect that some women do want to do those things.

 

I'll help around the house. But I'll designate tasks. I'll clean the main room, I'll help with the homework, I will NEVER DEAL WITH BABY POO ever!!

 

I will do all the outdoor "man" work!

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I'd like my wife to do the cooking...cuz I can't.

 

What if she can't either?  Then what? 

 

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I'll help around the house. But I'll designate tasks. I'll clean the main room, I'll help with the homework, I will NEVER DEAL WITH BABY POO ever!!

 

I will do all the outdoor "man" work!

Aw and when they get off the loo all proud that they are off a potty and they shout "at the top of their voice". Please will you wipe my bottom Daddy.

Bet you will not mind poo then. Ha ha .

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What if she can't either?  Then what? 

 

 

Then one of us or both of us will have to learn, lol!

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Then one of us or both of us will have to learn, lol!

 

Cooking classes taken together! That could be very fun and entertaining!

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I'll help around the house. But I'll designate tasks. I'll clean the main room, I'll help with the homework, I will NEVER DEAL WITH BABY POO ever!!

 

I will do all the outdoor "man" work!

Baby poo really isn't that bad. It doesn't smell much because babies' diets consist of milk. But as they get older and add in solid foods. Then it starts to smell. Anyways. What if you fall for someone who has a strong aversion to changing diapers as well? I guess you'll have to hire a nanny.

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Baby poo really isn't that bad. It doesn't smell much because babies' diets consist of milk. But as they get older and add in solid foods. Then it starts to smell. Anyways. What if you fall for someone who has a strong aversion to changing diapers as well? I guess you'll have to hire a nanny.

 

I'll compromise. In love you have to compromise. :o

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I'll compromise. In love you have to compromise. :o

Haha, good. As long as you have that attitude, I'm sure you will end up with someone wonderful, whether or not they change the diapers. But love is all about compromise.

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Great question by the way

Following the Honeymoon, I'm seriously gonna need to rest up, get a full body massage, and practice some yoga, well something at least.

After all that "exercise", uh bonding time with my new wife, I'll definitely need some down time.

Hahaha, know what I mean, yeah!

To answer your questions

Now I'm somewhat a traditionalist, but I do believe in a team concept.

That being said;

Household chores are for us to split.

I mean I can load the dishwasher, or turn on my Roomba Vacuum (it's Robotic)

Ironing is reasonably simple, and I do a somewhat decent job of that now.

However I'd rather dry clean, or just throw my stuff in the dryer for a few moments.

Killing bugs or other undesirables is definitely "a man's job"

That's simple

Now about the yard, I'm still awaiting a Roomba lawnmower, or at least an R/C mower like the one in the movie 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids'

Until then, I'll just purchase a riding mower.

'Ah now the money stuff;

I'm a firm believer in joint accounts, but I'm also a flexible kinda guy.

And I think the "middle of the road solution" would be to just get a joint account as our primary and maybe a couple supplemental accounts as personal.

Seems fair?

I think we should both pay the bills together.

And go over our budget so we're able to live within our means, give money to causes, and of course save for our futures.

If my wife stayed at home and supported our family in that, most critical and important role.

I couldn't realistically "give" her an allowance.

As what's mine is hers anyhow, right?

And It'd undermine her authority, and position I believe as a parental figure to have to ask me for money.

Wouldn't you agree?

Now on to the children;

Wow so say we're blessed with children, a family.

I'd like to participate fully in raising, caring for our children.

Changing diapers isn't fun, especially at 4am, but it's a labor of love.

And however we decide to feed our children, I want to take an active role in it.

About the only household family type thing I'd want to or likely choose to leave to my wife is cooking. I'm with Markb4 and yes I know cooking classes would benefit me.

However as a bachelor I don't cook really at all.

I imagine my wife coming home to my idea of a nutritious meal for our toddlers.

Happy meals!

Frozen fish sticks and microwave veggies!

Or Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches and fruit.

So I mean there's things I can "make", but I'm no culinary genius.

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@rookiepilot1 and @markb4 >

 

just a hint for the future...   learning to cook gives you 2 things...  1st...   it will be great bonding stuff (shared fun and teaching) with your kids :-)    I taught the kids a lot about cooking and in so doing, a lot about food and taste and places they can dream about going and the self-sufficiency of "I can make it for myself".  :-)

 

2nd...  it's awesomely impressive stuff for a GF and WIFE!!   I'm just saying you might want to play with cooking a little bit :-).    i think my wife thinks there is nothing more romantic than when i get fussing in the kitchen to make just that one thing that is seduction on a plate :-)

 

LOL

 

one final note...   I taught myself to cook...   so it wasn't really a case of "learning"...  it was a case of "trying"...  anyway - go have some fun sometime in the kitchen...   if you find it's your thing then you'll do more of it...   if you find it's not...   you can still find that  one or two meals you make that are just great date meals :-).

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@rookiepilot1 and @markb4 >

 

just a hint for the future...   learning to cook gives you 2 things...  1st...   it will be great bonding stuff (shared fun and teaching) with your kids :-)    I taught the kids a lot about cooking and in so doing, a lot about food and taste and places they can dream about going and the self-sufficiency of "I can make it for myself".  :-)

 

2nd...  it's awesomely impressive stuff for a GF and WIFE!!   I'm just saying you might want to play with cooking a little bit :-).    i think my wife thinks there is nothing more romantic than when i get fussing in the kitchen to make just that one thing that is seduction on a plate :-)

 

LOL

 

one final note...   I taught myself to cook...   so it wasn't really a case of "learning"...  it was a case of "trying"...  anyway - go have some fun sometime in the kitchen...   if you find it's your thing then you'll do more of it...   if you find it's not...   you can still find that  one or two meals you make that are just great date meals :-).

FANTASTIC. Proper man of my own heart.............

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