Guest Parrot_Fish

Do you think you're marriage material?

22 posts in this topic

Absolutely not...yet.

I'm 22 still living with mom and dad a college student. I have a part-time job.

Minimal requirements for me to become marriage material:

1.) College Degree

2.) Career

3.) Living at my own place

Until I obtain that no girl will want anything to do with me. I wouldn't marry myself lol.

Unfortunately I plan to save money by living at home even after I get a career and lots of money. Also since my brother moved out with his girlfriend it seems like I'll be taking care of my parents until their final days.

So I am not someone who any right minded woman would want to commit to any time soon.

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Im glad you brought this up I have these worries too

I know Im definitely not ready for marriage at this moment... but when I am where I want to be, I sometimes wonder if I'm marriage material because, like you, Im introverted and I like my me-time.  

I am used to being independent and making my own decisions with what I want to do in life.  My personality is vibrant and Im a colorful character so I feel like that too will hinder my chances of getting married.  I feel like most men in general want the quiet, super sweet, innocent girl, who is submissive, and perfect ...nothing wrong with that I've met those girls and they are great ^_^ I wish I was like that but its just not me.  Im not bossy but I do speak my mind if I dont like something or dont feel right about something I will stick to my beliefs, this is me and I know I wont change because if I do try to change myself...I wont be happy in the long run. So I tend to worry if marriage is even right for me... :(

 

But then I think hmm ... Doesnt everyone with a loving soul deserve to be truly loved? why would God make me the person that I am today only for me to be alone, it doesnt make sense. I believe the Lord has someone for everyone and the guy that I marry, will understand that I need my me-time and will accept me for me.

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I'd marry someone that hadn't started their career yet or didn't have their own place, I might even consider marrying someone without a university degree as long as they are intelligent and have done something with their life (like gained a job or gained good experience which will help them into  a good job or career). Where I am (London, UK) it's not easy for people to own their own place or even for people to rent them because the cost of living is so high so I couldn't think badly of someone who was living at home or with housemates etc. I also realise that not everyone knows right away what they want do with their life and it would be wrong for me to judge someone still in or planning to return to education or that hadn't yet started a degree because  I'm going back to uni to do a second degree at 24 and therefore haven't started my career yet.

 

I wish more girls thought like you. Truly, I mean it. I have the same doubts as Weapon does. Often times I feel the pressure from society to make it big and have a good job and a nice house otherwise women wouldn't even look at me. Logically, I know I wouldn't want to be with that kind of woman anyways, but I still have a deep desire to be a  good provider to my future wife and children.

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I reckon I will be but first I need to deal with these "negative thoughts" that dominate me for a while and then die down. It is like I am two people in one sometimes. Also, lazy sometimes. Ughh. I'll graduate when I'm 20 though.

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That's exactly what I meant.

I think also I'm thinking about my relationship with the only person I've ever been close to and lived with, my mum, but the dynamics of that relationship don't mean they'll be the same with another person I'm close to and live with. I don't think anyone could be as difficult to live with as my mum either partly because she's my mum partly because of her personality. So I think my character at home would be different if living with someone different and someone I love (romantically). I've lived with housemates at uni three times and I got on with all of them so I think it must be living in this particular household that worsens my worst traits.

ooh absolutely if I were to discuss the way I was when living in a household with my mother then yea it wouldnt be nice.  But when Ive had roomates and friends that I've lived with I've learned that Im actually much more kind and helpful, so wow! I guess youre right.  I never thought about comparing living w/ my mom vs Roomates vs spouse now Im not as worried.

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I better be...the good thing is that we can change, better, and improve ourselves as the time goes by.

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Helloee,

Ok worry number one. When you find your true love those little niggles that you describe will run away as fast as ever. Spending your life with someone is a lot about understanding and compromise and thats what courtship is for. Spending all of your time with someone doesn't have to include anything intimate! I spent lots of nights with girls, went out ,had a good drink kissed her goodnight and went to my bed alone. So id just let things happen.

Worry number two. Hmmm yep I know its not regarded as a christian thing for the lady to be dominant. Im afraid thats just one thing of our faith I do not subscribe to. Dominance between couples is between the two of you sometimes there are areas that its good for the lad to take charge and vice versa. To me it doesn't matter and to be honest day to day whilst I am very much an Alpha male I am happy to be led. As long as she asks my permission. JOKE........

I recon you will make a fantastic wife and it will happen. Just when your not expecting it !

Take care. Col.

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Helloee,

Ok worry number one. When you find your true love those little niggles that you describe will run away as fast as ever. Spending your life with someone is a lot about understanding and compromise and thats what courtship is for. Spending all of your time with someone doesn't have to include anything intimate! I spent lots of nights with girls, went out ,had a good drink kissed her goodnight and went to my bed alone. So id just let things happen.

.

 

I completely agree!!

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Good evening, Hey I say that and its evening here and I know The world has not ended but you guys don't. He he !!!

I guess thats all about checking out how things go as you "court" a chap in as much as you see what your interests are and see if your wants can be for-filled. Like you I like my own space. I grab this by perusing my sailing interests and so if I want I sail away for a weekend, drop the anchor and just talk to the stars. Actually I would like to do this with a loved one too but not to be. Friends of mine do this by running, gym, working odd shifts at work etc etc but if you look its all a chance to get some space. Its nothing criminal.

And just about to press the post button and I suspect your an English girl ? So possibly asleep. ,!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend. Col.

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I might say I'm marriage raw material...

 

Need to be processed some more and maybe alloyed with some other materials first.

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  I don't think I'm ready but then will I ever be? I don't think I could prepare myself enough for when I am actually married. It'll be a learning experience I think.

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Yes.....I definatly KNOW I'm marriage material! I have always been VERY independent....Had my first job when I was 16. I've pretty much been very responsible. Lived by myself since I was 24, until recently....About, Gosh!! Almost 5 yrs ago my now roomate came to live with me. She (Joyce) hit a difficult patch & I said come stay as long as you need.. Let's just say.....It was a HUG adjustment!!! I had been by myself since I moved out of my parents house!!! Lol!!

I believe God had planned this.....to prepare me for marriage.....She's been married...and has taught & is teaching me SO MUCH about relationships....insight into the complexity of being married.....things I should expect.....all of the wisdom she had gained from here mistakes & success in relationships with men...I have learned so much about the intimatcies of marriage....not only sexually......but as it pertains to shareing every detail of your life with Him & being completly vunerable to him. The compromise, give & take.....but mostly being aware that know its not just you anymore...you have someone else you have to think about & answer too.

Now, I know living with another woman is not living with a MAN!!! But, I believe it to be GREAT preparation for when He & I are in our home for the first time.....after the wedding!!! It will be SO DIFFERENT in many ways.....but the same in a lot of them! I HAPPILY await that day when I finally share a home & my life with my Husband!!!!

However.....the way I now know I'm "Marriage Material" is when I recommited my life back to God.....He began the work in me.....Letting me see how great & beautiful I was in His eyes....teaching me to love myself...teaching me what a godly woman truly is!!! He fixed all the broken pieces....showed me where I need to be better. Taking out the "not so great" things about me & replacing them with the "fruit of the spirit" Galatians 5:22,23... But yet remaining who I am.....having my own identity & my own mind!

So....YES! I know I will make someone a FANTASTIC wife! Not braggin! Giggles!!! :blush:

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I'm 46 and sometimes I still ask myself that hehe lol.

My weakness are that I'm sooooo sloppy lol, and I have extreme OCD . Lethal combo I know lol

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Wow! How's that work?

Well u dont want to see my room . If you ever heard the song "welcome to the jungle" that describes my room perfectly lol.

As far as scrupulosity that is a form of religious OCD . I've had OCD all my life but because in our family we didnt know what it was , we weren't really allowed to talk about it and so my OCD got worse to the point that it leaked into my religious life.

It took a long time to break away from my up ringing and recognize that I needed help but I finally did a few years back, and now I try to help others who have scrupulosity recognize it and get the help that they need, and to help the, to see that it isn't their fault, that it's a disorder just like any other disorder :)

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Not yet but I have am happy with my life

I am well educated with two degrees in computing. traveled and visited many cities around the world.

However, I do currently live with my parents due to emigrating from England and due to my nature I am not into the dating scene because I just didn't have time during my studies. But I would to get married before I'm 45

So until I find my own place and good job I am not ready yet.

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we have adverb who says  Livelihood comes with marriage ....so you if you have not job, house, or money , just you get marry and you will get all what you want....  for exemple before get marry i had just work and now i have car and house

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