Could you have a sexless marriage?

[wanderlust 315]

I could never have a sexless marriage. Never.

[TheJayspyder 1,000]

I understand having a sexless marriage only if both parties bear similar low sex drives. Anything else, and its a sure sign that the relationship has been crippled.

[RosatohisCecil 282]

there is nothing wrong with you

 

Then why do I feel so defective?

[Djams 706]

Fialily, first thing everyone's sex drive is different. Two it'll change when you have it, I know it may sound weird but once you do it you want it more. From the way I look at it it's not just a pleasure thing it's an intimacy thing and a love thing.

[Jada 237]

I want to add that if I met a girl who was physically unable to have sex but was willing, I would still marry her. It would be difficult but there are other ways to be intimate. It has more to do with her attitude than what she can actually do that is a deciding factor.

 

I've actually read about a condition that some women have where their abdominal and pelvic muscles tighten and make extremely painful contractions during vaginal sex. I don't remember exactly what causes it but I remember that it has to do with anxiety and that's it's a psychological issue. Like I said, if she had this but was willing to work around it I would still marry her. There would still be a small issue with me, though in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal. But if vaginal sex was not possible, I would constantly question whether we've ever truly become "one flesh" or if we actually would have given our virginities to each other.in the truest sense. Vaginal sex is the only thing that everyone can agree constitutes virginity lost. Not everyone agrees that oral or other things count. But that is a small issue as I said. In the end, all that matters is the love between us.

 

It's called vaginismus and while it can make penetration almost impossible, it can be easily treated and women can have a normal sex life after it. So if that was the case, with treatment and patience,am sure you wouldn't have to worry about a life without the normal (vaginal) sex.

Here is an article with more info on it:

http://www.vaginismus.com/faqs/vaginismus-questions/what-is-vaginismus

[Natureboy 195]

A sexless marriage is one of my biggest fears. Alot of people say premarital sex would avoid this problem. I hope they're wrong about this. I would hate to be celibate all these years for no reason.

[TheJayspyder 1,000]

A sexless marriage is one of my biggest fears. Alot of people say premarital sex would avoid this problem. I hope they're wrong about this. I would hate to be celibate all these years for no reason.

 

Premarital sex wouldn't solve or safeguard you against anything. 

[Jegsy Scarr 3,521]

Nope, couldn't do it. At least, I couldn't get married in the first place if I knew there wasn't going to be any sex. I literally couldn't get married if he couldn't have sex, of course, but even if he could but just didn't want to, no, I don't think I could. Having sex and having babies is really important to me.

 

Obviously, there'd be a chance that at some point once we were married, something would happen and we wouldn't be able to have sex. That'd just be something I'd have to learn to deal with. It'd probably be possible, but not at all easy. 

 

If I was marrying a guy who just didn't have a very high sex drive (those guys exist, right?) then I think that'd be okay. But there's no way I'm going into a Josephite marriage! Got to be at least some sex...

 

xxx

[__Egirly__ 1,161]

By the time I'm a 100....maybe we'd stop sex then....maybe

[Invincible 8,026]

A sexless marriage is one of my biggest fears. Alot of people say premarital sex would avoid this problem. I hope they're wrong about this. I would hate to be celibate all these years for no reason.

 

You can avoid that without having premarital sex. If the both of you are struggling to keep your hands off each other, that is a almost fool proof sign you have nothing to worry about

 

 

If I was marrying a guy who just didn't have a very high sex drive (those guys exist, right?)

 

They do not exist...well except for Mstr Josh probably. lol

 

 

 But there's no way I'm going into a Josephite marriage!

 

 

That didn't exist either   

[Mstr Josh 2,607]

You can avoid that without having premarital sex. If the both of you are struggling to keep your hands off each other, that is a almost fool proof sign you have nothing to worry about

They do not exist...well except for Mstr Josh probably. lol

That didn't exist either ;)

I was mentioned in a post by Vince! Life completed.

[Slayerofdragon 1,322]

I don't think I could have a sexless marriage. I think having sex in a marriage is an expression of love, and I want to show my love. Plus, I want to have children, so there ya go. 

 

If my wife in our marriage, developed a condition/illness were she couldn't have sex with me, I think I would do my best to be understanding and work with this situation. 

[The Half Blood Prince 157]

Never. Sex is a gift in marriage imo.

 

Might as well not WTM if I am having no sex in a marriage. Okay if she has an accident or something then maybe but I'll make extra sure that none of us get ulhealthy, ill or injured.

[Karthik 263]

Never, I can't get married know my wife don't want to have sex. I have a high sex drive and we need at least have sex. Having children and being a good husband and father is what marriage is all about. 

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

UH NO!!!!!! That's the whole purpose of WTM! So you and your spouse can role play, make scenes up, or fantasies your partner has had on a crush or celebrity or someone attractive(this is more for the guys but still fun haha) and whenever you want. Idk but when my husband and I first got married I didn't really like it it was very uncomfortable and hurt for some time and disliked it but overtime I've become accustomed to this whole new experience and ladies and gents keep waiting cus it is freaking awesome and fun! You all will love it and will be deeply connected to your life partner♥♥♥

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

I was mentioned in a post by Vince! Life completed.

 

Right he's pretty awesome!! lol

[Invincible 8,026]

Right he's pretty awesome!! lol

You're even more awesome than that

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

You're even more awesome than that

:DDD Thank ya Vince!!!

[Karthik 263]

@OneHappyGirl, You are amazing and have great views and opinions 

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

awww Karthik you are very sweet!!! & thank you!

[OneLovelyBabe 606]

It depends on the situation really. But I'll be honest probably definitely not. I mean if we were married and having sex then he all of a sudden had a freak accident from like a bomb or something then yeah Im not just gonna peace out... I married that person but I know they wish they could with me too. I mean probably Id still ask them to do stuff as sexual as possible for me and vice versa but it would break my heart if they had their 'manhood' taken away like that so how could I walk away from that? And to me a man is more than just sex he's strength when Im weak, he's a friend to go to in need and someone who makes me feel sexy. If everything else was good that to me is what a marriage is and I would know sex is just one way of expressing what's already in his soul. Obviously if someone was in a coma for like a year they can't help their situation but I know they would if they could.

But if the person is asexual then probably I wouldn't marry them in the first place.

[Karthik 263]

The guy that you marry will be so luck because you think of him more of just sex but I would never have a sexless marriage. Sex is needed in marriage

It depends on the situation really. But I'll be honest probably definitely not. I mean if we were married and having sex then he all of a sudden had a freak accident from like a bomb or something then yeah Im not just gonna peace out... I married that person but I know they wish they could with me too. I mean probably Id still ask them to do stuff as sexual as possible for me and vice versa but it would break my heart if they had their 'manhood' taken away like that so how could I walk away from that? And to me a man is more than just sex he's strength when Im weak, he's a friend to go to in need and someone who makes me feel sexy. If everything else was good that to me is what a marriage is and I would know sex is just one way of expressing what's already in his soul. Obviously if someone was in a coma for like a year they can't help their situation but I know they would if they could.

But if the person is asexual then probably I wouldn't marry them in the first place.

[Sophie 1,280]

Yeah, I could do it. I don't think I am asexual but I don't think I have to have sex. Well no one HAS to have it, but you know what I mean. I think I could be perfectly happy and content in a sexless relationship. Cuddling + kissing would be enough for me!

[Karthik 263]

Sex is a small part of the big picture together with kissing , cuddling etc. So yes I would enjoy sex but after a while i would just like to enjoy each others company and just cuddle up sometimes

[Invincible 8,026]

I'm copying mark's example today and reviving this old thread to hear what newer members have to say about this topic. Only difference is that I do this better than mark because....I'm me.