Invincible

Would you date/marry someone who was terminally ill?

25 posts in this topic

If you knew ahead of time that the one you are deeply in love with, the one whom you are very compatible with only had a year to live, would you date or marry them?

 

I can say for myself that I most definitely would. I think if I truly loved her, I would want to be with her on her final days until the day she dies. True love is too great to let go simply because of a short time limit. Call me naive, but everyone has an expiration date. Some are simply sooner than others. But I think that an impending death would make the few moments you have together all the more meaningful. You're not going to be taking each other for granted in that scenario. You'd be cherishing every second you have with that person. I'd like to think that the pain of losing someone is worth it if it meant experiencing something so beautiful.

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This is gonna sound sad but...Everyone is pretty much dying from the day theyre born. We never know when we are going to go home. It can happen any minute.

I agree Vince. I definitely would. True love all the way! :D i would marry to expand our love and to make the most of our time. Im not sure if i would go ahead and get kids or not, though, in this marriage. Also, you never know, but the year that the doctor gives him may turn into 20 years. Plus, we should cherish every moment just the same than only if you knew death was more possible sooner than later.

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Yes why pass the opportunity to experience true love some never even get to experience love at all.  It would be short but the memories would always be there so its definitely worth it.

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Sure, nobody knows when they're gonna die. Maybe I might die before a terminally ill loved one.

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Yes I would. Forest Gump married Jenny even though they knew she was sick :D

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I would, but I'm not sure whether I would stay a widower for the rest of my life afterwards. Actually, scratch that. I would focus the rest of my life raising our one and only child.

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I actually did date a person with cancer, but he actually thought he was getting better only for it to take a turn for the worse after we broke up and died shortly after. I probably couldn't have handled the heartache. 

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Hmm. That's a tough one, and I'm pretty torn, actually. (I think we had a question like this before a while ago, and I think I was the same then).

 

One the one hand, if I was dating someone who was dying and he asked me to marry him, I'd probably do it. We'd get married, we'd have no children, because I couldn't bear the thought of bringing them up on my own without a father, and after he died, I don't think I could bear the thought of remarrying.

 

On the other hand, if it were me who was dying, I don't know if I'd want to get married, knowing that he'd have to go through all of that, and would perhaps himself not want to remarry afterwards. I'd rather he waited for someone else who he could have a family with. Of course, he could 'promise' me that he'd marry again after I was gone, but he might not. 

 

Argh, I don't know. This question makes me sad... :(

 

xxx

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     This  thread reminds me of the book "A Walk to Remmember" by Nicholas Sparks. That's a good book consisting of romance, humor, true love (yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic). Although, the plot is a sad one.

      

     To answer your thread Vince, I think I would date/marry someone who has terminal cancer. I think, in this case, true love would triumph .  I also would want to be with her on her last days. In the process, cherishing memories that would become memorable.   Maybe paint her toenails, if she can't do it herself.

      

     However, like Jegs, I don't think I could bear the thought of remarrying after my spouse dies.

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I absolutely would. I would want to ensure that their last months, weeks and days were filled with as much love and happiness as possible. 

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I agree it's like A Walk to Remember...such a sweet movie! Both happy and sad at the same time...makes me feel like crying! But yes, I think I would. Plus, once you start falling in love...I think it's almost impossible to stop.

But to those who say they would never move on: I have heard from those who have lost a spouse and then remarried years later that they truly feel they have two loves of their life. You just never know what will happen. But of course this is a really sad question, and some people never do remarry after something like this :(

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I don't think I would. As many know, my main reason for waiting is because I want my wife and I to be each other's only sexual partners. If I marry a terminally ill woman, I will have that, but only for a biref period of time. I would likely re-marry at some point and I then wouldn't have that specialness in my second, longer marriage due to having had sex with my first wife. Now, I know some will say, "But that could happen anyway. Anyone could die at any time." While that is true, let's not get carried away. Statistically, that is far, far less likely to happen if I married a woman who was not terminally ill. It's not even close. By choosing to marry a terminally ill woman, I'm pretty much choosing this fate. By marrying any woman, I'm barely taking a chance at all of that happening.

 

Now, there is always the chance that emotion gets in the way. Maybe we've been dating for a while and we're already in love and want to marry before she finds out she is terminally ill. In that case, the temptation would be so, so great to marry her and be able to be with her (both emotionally and sexually in marriage) before she is gone. Also, I would probably really want her to get to experience marriage and sex before she dies. In this case, it would be a tough one.

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Yes I would. In the movie A Walk to Remember Landon married Jamie knowing that she was going to die from cancer soon. He made all her wishes come true before the day she died:) How romantic.

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I think I would. Although it would be very hard to think about having a short amount of time to spend with them but I'm sure we would spend that time doing great things.

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Date, maybe. Marry knowing he won't survive (probably would rush into it) heck no that's not a reason to marry someone. If we were to the point which marriage would come without the fact he's dying and he told me before or after engagement. Honestly I'd be so far gone it'd break my heart and how could I not Marry him (unless I couldn't deal) so my answer is it DEPENDS

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Definitely!  ^_^ If he is My One, then I would be marry him and live the best days in my life. :)

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If I love her unconditionally then of course I would! I believe true love is unconditional and not marrying someone who is terminally ill would be conditional love. A love that is limited. A love that is not full.

To my future Wife: Dear Ms. Weapon X (God I hope that's not her real name :)

I will love you. I will love you as I promise to love you the day we get married. I will love you unconditionally. Healthy or ill, I will be there for you. In sickness we need love more than ever, I promise to love you forever and ever.

Love, Weapon X

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Of course I will love her unconditionally now and forever.

Dear future wife

I will love you with all heart as promised to love you on our wedding day. Healthy or ill I will love forever and unconditionally . I will always there for you

With lots of love

Londonboy84

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If I were in this situation, I would marry the person knowing she was going to die. The thing is we should live each day as if it's the last with the people we love, even with platonic love. I try to cherish every moment with the people I work with and see on a day to day basis, and on the days where I'm feeling down or upset they notice almost immediately because that love is just a little different, it's a little less. But back to the topic at hand.

People may have an expiration date but love doesn't. I would love my wife each day knowing our lives won't last forever but our love will. I would also never love or marry another woman. That's just a personal choice of mine unless it truly was what God wanted for me. I understand the scenario may be someone who is terminally ill, but people die suddenly all the time. I remember reading a story awhile back of a couple who had just gotten married and had returned from their honeymoon. The wife was outside getting the newspaper and mail when she was hit and killed by a drunk driver. People die all the time, young and old, and your spouse may not be terminally ill but God forbid this scenario can happen to anyone.

I have personally seen firsthand what cancer does to a person who is terminally ill, and it's not a pretty sight. It's probably the most painful thing I've ever experienced and I would still marry her knowing that is a very real possibility of happening again. It would hurt deeply to see someone I love wither away to the point where she was unrecognizable but her memory and her love would always remain in my heart. Death is no glorious thing, even for those who think it's an honor to die for someone else. Death is just death, and there's no coming back from that. 

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No, probably not.

 

But if we had been in a relationship for awhile and were already heading towards marriage and then he got the terminal diagnosis, then maybe.

 

But if we hadn't been together that long, then probably not. It would feel like we were just rushing into marriage cause he was dying. I don't think that would be good. Would I be marrying him cause I wanted to or because I felt like I had to because he was sick? He probably wouldn't like it if I was doing it because I felt sorry for him and not because I wanted to.

 

Also he would have to be okay with me remarrying, cause I might if I find someone.

 

 

 

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I suppose it depends but I definitely think I could and would do it. I feel like I have lots of deal breakers but if I met someone I really liked I don't think them being sick would be a discouraging factor.

I liked that film "A Walk to Remember" and I totally thought I'd marry the girl when I saw it.

I think it would be a case by case situation but I'd be open to it.

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