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The fear of waiting too long and missing out on having a family

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I apologize in advance if this question has been asked elsewhere on this forum!

As an older female waiter (I'm currently 29), the biggest test to my resolve is the fear that I might have to wait for such a long time that I miss out on having children altogether. I want to be a mother more than anything and the thought that this might never happen terrifies me and makes me wonder if I should wait much longer. I know there is always the option to adopt a child but I would really like to have my own biological child if possible. Does anyone else have this fear, and if so, how are you dealing with it?

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I really feel for the girls in this regard. You ladies start to feel your biological clock ticking if you reach a certain age and are still childless. Women simply have a smaller window of opportunity to have children than men do.

 

Even so, as a man I do feel some self imposed pressure to have kids within a certain time frame. I'm only a year younger than you and I feel like I'm running out of time on occasion. Because even though theoretically I can have kids until I am like 70 or 80, I don't want to be like 35 or older when I have my first child. I always had this irrational fear of having serious health problems in my middle aged years that would render me unable to help raise my children before they become completely independent.

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I totally understand this even though I’m a man.  It must be a really difficult emotional journey for a woman who is not only waiting for marriage but also yearning to have your own children.  I’m not too fussed about having children if I’m honest, I would like to have a family but it seems I can’t quite find the right woman.  I’ll be 30 next month and I always thought that would have happened by now so I am feeling the pressure and disappointment too like yourself.  Thankfully I know I’m not alone.  That’s some consolation I suppose. 

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Oh! Boy! Have I Felt This Way!!!! I have always wanted to have children! That was a VERY DEEP concern of mine (I'm 43).......Everyone close to me (bestfriends, sisters, brothers, etc...) has kids already & some of them grown!!! I had often cried over this to God..... then I remembered a passage in Pslams that read..."if you delight yourself in him (God) he will give you the desires of your heart"....I truly believe God will do just that! .....as I continue to live my life for Him in my christian walk.....So now....I don't worry about it at all!!! :) 29Korea....your yet young!!...I do understand how you feel tho....Just stay true to your decsion to wait! I truly believe your "special man" is yet out their for you!!! You will be glad you waited to have that family with your husband!!!!

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Yes I have felt this way (am battling hard with this right now). I am 35 and the month or so before I turned 35 and even now is difficult.. It isn't easy and I understand about wanting to have your own children. Don't lose hope and keep believing your husband is out there.

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I understand how you feel. Move on with your life and eventually things will fall into place when it is meant to be. Lakita Garth saved herself for her husband and was 36 when she married. Clearly she did not give up on the dream. AC Green lost his virginity to his wife at the age of 38. It takes patience girl! 

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I really hope I get married by 35. I am sure I will. Hope to have at 2 kids and I will raise them we'll.

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I definitely feel this fear-I don't want kids yet (I'm still in college) but I fear I'm never going to find someone. I always worry I'm not going to find someone. I don't really know how to meet someone/date-I've only really been on like 5 dates. It's hard and when I have gone on dates-the people I date find it weird.

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So true, I would advise you to finish college because education is always useful in any job. I am so proud that I got my university degree. I just hope I find the non smoking non drinking girl. 

I definitely feel this fear-I don't want kids yet (I'm still in college) but I fear I'm never going to find someone. I always worry I'm not going to find someone. I don't really know how to meet someone/date-I've only really been on like 5 dates. It's hard and when I have gone on dates-the people I date find it weird.

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Well I'm 20 so not a problem for me yet. But if I am still single by the age of 30 I am going to start looking into adoption and I will definitely adopt a child if I am still single by age 35. I want to have kids. And if I have to do it alone, so be it. But of course I would love to have a husband in there somewhere!

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Well, I don't worry about it, even though I do want kids very much. More than anything right now, I just want to fall in love. Then I'll worry about kids. Being an aunt gave me some perspective too, children change everything!

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I don't really have this fear, but I'm only 17, and I don't really want kids.

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I don't worry about it so much as I am only 27 but want to fall in love first and then have at least 2 kids. Kids bring joy happiness and sometimes trouble

If I don't get married and have kids by 34 then I might adopt

Being an uncle does change a thing because it makes me want kids more but I need a stable relationship first

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