Why is virginity so important to you?

[whatsername 14]

I've been wondering this. I have some reasons, but why is it that to some of you non-virginity is a deal breaker?

[jbt12 8]

i'll be honest, i made a mistake when i was young and lost my virginity. i regretted it immediately and haven't done it again since, i am now waiting until marriage. my boyfriend isn't a virgin but he understands that i want to wait. being a virgin isn't a major issue for me (it is a preference as they'll understand my feelings a bit better), as long as they understand that i don't want to be intimate until after we wed.

[EWZ 300]

Virginity is important to me because it shows that she is intelligent and thoughtful enough to understand that sex is important, and that she would save herself for one person, the person that means the most to her. She understands that sex is more than just “getting off.†It shows that she didn't fall into societies’ moronic norm of promiscuous, multiple relationships and self-destroying attitude. It show that she, like me has been thinking about her future spouse and cares about them even though she doesn't know them yet. It shows that she values herself and she’s not just going to give herself away to a short term partner or a stranger.

 

There is way more to it than these points, but these are some reasons why virginity is important to me.

 

*I do realize that I sound like a jerk*

[wny 929]

I have more than one reason, but my main reason is because of my view on sex. I believe sex is most special if it is between two very sexually inexperienced people in marriage. It gives the two people a certain special connection and a level of exclusivity because they know only each other in that way. To me, if you have had sex before, you've given part of yourself away and, no matter what, it just can't be as special with the next person you have it with. Having this special connection in marriage is very, very important to me and that is why I have lack of sexual inexperience as a dealbreaker.

 

All this being said, I don't think having this is or has to be important to everyone. Also, it's not to say that non-virgins won't have a great marriage or a special sex life in marriage. Different things are important to different people and it is just something very, very important to me.

[nygirl 43]

Virginity is important to me because I'm very strongly attracted to the idea of mental purity. I know it's impossible to achieve 110% but the idea that I'm keeping myself for one guy, and one special guy out there is intentionally keeping himself for me is just amazing.

[Invincible 8,026]

My reasons is similar to wny. The only difference is that it is not a deal breaker for me. I simply view virginity as a really huge bonus. I must admit that as I get older, the more I struggle with entitlement issues. I sometimes feel I deserve to marry a virgin since I remain one way past the expected age range when a man should have lost his virginity by in society's standards. Sometimes the selfishness in me kicks in and hates the idea that I would give myself entirely to my wife but she wouldn't be able to do the same. A piece of her will always be with every previous partner she had. It just doesn't seem fair and it would sting real bad knowing that other guys became so intimate with her before me.

 

But I hate thinking that way. I don't think I am entitled to a virgin, let alone a wife. A wife would be a huge blessing and if she is a virgin that would be another blessing, nothing more, nothing less. There are much more important things to a marriage than sexual status. It does not come close to comparing to a girl who is willing to give her undying love and is committed to making me happy. I'll take a non-virgin like that any day over a virgin whom I can simply get along with.

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

Virginity is important to me from a Spirtual aspect being able to be whole physically, spirtually, mentally, and emotionally. However, after I turned 21 virginity lost it's importance to me once I realized it would not make a difference to my husband if I were one in today's societies. Honestly, I fell in love with this incredible guy and although we kept our virginities while we,he didn't. He later gave his up in a one night stand, his stance on WTM was no longer existent after the sheer ecstacy of that night. I was crushed. During this time, I went through  a lot of self-reflecting and was torn for something I was so admant about but my heart that was also broken, clouding my mind. I lost someone who's convictions were just as strong as mine and it was a very beautiful relationship but through a bitter breakup and poor choices our relationship was severed. Then several years later, I met my now partner. His viewpoints on virginity, although he was a virgin, were very nonchalant. He asked me about my sexual history and I had none other than making out. His take on me being a virgin was it was nice but he really didn't care if I slept around. He said if I had 5 or 7 partners it would be no big deal as long as I were faithful to him and loved only him. However, as our relationship progressed his love began to grow and although he still says it wouldn't matter if I slept around with 1 or 2 partners would be the max but he likes having a virgin for a future wife. Therefore, these experiences changed my thoughts once more on virginity realizing how my decision to wait for one person and them be excited to be with a virgin partner would end up not being such a big deal to them one way or another as long as I was faithful and loved them, but regardless of how my future partner may feel about my sexual past it is still important to me.  

[Guest bippy123]

For me Virginity is very very important, but it isnt necessarily a deal breaker, but if im interested in a woman and at the point that im meeting her she believes that premarital sex is ok that is the first deal breaker for me. She could have been a completely different person at the time that she believed that premarital sex was ok then the person she is now.

 

If Christ can wipe the slate clean then I dont see how I shouldnt either.

 

Virginity starts first in the soul and ends in the body.

[Guest Princess Victoria]

im saving my virginity because i want to give it to someone who means the world to me. if he does not meet my standards, he does not deserve to have sex with me. period. 

[AGarden4One 397]

Honestly......viginity is important to me....for MYSELF!....However, idealy God would want us all to be as such.....But in the day & age we live in (as we all know on here) is a VERY RARE thing! I myself don't have virginity as "deal breaker".

Just as Bibby123 said "If Christ can wipe the slate clean then don't see how I shouldn't either" I agree!!! Once we have given our lives to Christ...we are a "new creature, old things are passed away; behold all things become new." In all reality.....Some of us will actually marry virgins, but for the most the majority won't. Yes...God is incredible & can give you your hearts desire & he can do ANYTHING!!!....I ultimately want GOD'S PERFECT MAN...for ME!!!

Because if you really think about it.....the first time you are with your spouse on your wedding night....It will be NEW....for the BOTH OF YOU....it will be THE FIRST.....for the BOTH OF YOU....You will be discovering each other for the VERY FIRST TIME....because you will have waited for EACH OTHER...Regardless of the route it took for the BOTH OF YOU...to get there!!!

That in itself to me is the most AMAZING thing!!!

[Mstr Josh 2,607]

Same.. Even if I wasn't a virgin, it's not like my socially awkward self's virginity is going anywhere

[1evolvingsoul 7]

Your virginity proves your strength of character. And purity of mind.

[LovingLana 150]

I think it says a lot about your character, you are a strong willed person who doesn't conform to society being able to resist temptation. It also shows how compassionate you are towards yourself and others because you will not subject yourself to the mutual using that goes on between people who have premarital sex. 

[Jada 237]

I find it amazing when two people maintain purity for each other until their wedding day and I would like to have that one day.

Even though virginity is not up on my list,  I would be lying if I said I didn't find the thought of being with a non-virgin intimidating. Given that it will mainly be a teacher-student kind of relationship when to comes to sex as opposed to inexperienced partners learning from each other, am afraid I won't live up to his expectations when it comes to some things. and the feeling of disappointment and guilt that I can't give him the same pleasure as the others.   I hate the pressure that comes with  feeling like you have to  live upto every partner who has been there before you.

[Guest OneHappyGirl]

Your virginity proves your strength of character. And purity of mind.

 

 

My thoughts exactly♥

[Tatyana 622]

Virginity isnt a dealbreaker for me but a man that has had many partners is... I dont care if he "found God" or if he's been celibate for so-so years  if the guy ever went on his "wild phase" and has had 10 or 20 past partners Im not interested. Even 5 is too many in my opinion it just grosses me out to think of dating a guy who's carelessly humped women left and right. 

 

That being said virginity for me is a plus it would be great but those chances are slim.

[TheJayspyder 1,000]

Virginity isnt a dealbreaker for me but a man that has had many partners is... I dont care if he "found God" or if he's been celibate for so-so years  if the guy ever went on his "wild phase" and has had 10 or 20 past partners Im not interested. Even 5 is too many in my opinion it just grosses me out to think of dating a guy who's carelessly humped women left and right. 

 

That being said virginity for me is a plus it would be great but those chances are slim.

 

I get labeled all kinds of nasty things for having the exact same standards towards women. That, and no single mothers.

[erasercrumbs 506]

It doesn't matter to me.  We all make mistakes.  A mistake confessed is a mistake forgiven, so far as I'm concerned.

[Invincible 8,026]

Virginity isnt a dealbreaker for me but a man that has had many partners is... I dont care if he "found God" or if he's been celibate for so-so years  if the guy ever went on his "wild phase" and has had 10 or 20 past partners Im not interested. Even 5 is too many in my opinion it just grosses me out to think of dating a guy who's carelessly humped women left and right. 

 

That being said virginity for me is a plus it would be great but those chances are slim.

 

It's not a deal breaker for me if she's not a virgin either. But sometimes I feel after a certain number, it becomes much harder to handle. Because as the number keeps going up, the more I'd feel like just another notch on her belt lost in a sea of past sexual partners even if I was the one she marries. I'm not saying one way or another, but I guess I'll decide on a case by case basis.

 

I get labeled all kinds of nasty things for having the exact same standards towards women. That, and no single mothers.

 

Unfortunately, society is much more harsh on guys for doing something wrong in a relationship. If a girl refuses a guy who's slept around, she is praised for knowing her worth by not settling for a pig. If a guy refuses a girl who's done the same, he's labeled as heartless and accused of basing a woman's worth by her private parts. Yay for double standards.

[TheJayspyder 1,000]

It's not a deal breaker for me if she's not a virgin either. But sometimes I feel after a certain number, it becomes much harder to handle. Because as the number keeps going up, the more I'd feel like just another notch on her belt lost in a sea of past sexual partners even if I was the one she marries. I'm not saying one way or another, but I guess I'll decide on a case by case basis.

 

 

Unfortunately, society is much more harsh on guys for doing something wrong in a relationship. If a girl refuses a guy who's slept around, she is praised for knowing her worth by not settling for a pig. If a guy refuses a girl who's done the same, he's labeled as heartless and accused of basing a woman's worth by her private parts. Yay for double standards.

 

I don't think women can really handle unconstrained promiscuity. I think after a point it starts to make their personalities more warped and narcissistic. 

[LovingLana 150]

I don't think women can really handle unconstrained promiscuity. I think after a point it starts to make their personalities more warped and narcissistic. 

I think that statement goes for both males and females who are promiscuous, I'm sure you pay more attention to the females who are but I've witnessed the same behavior from males. Just today a had a male who is by no means a virgin nor conservative the type who lets sex and lust lead his life...he had the nerve to say "he had been looking for a virgin to settle down with" while trying to convince me to give him a chance. Wow, so you can tell me that if a woman doesn't have good (explicit word for female privates)  you wont be in a relationship with her at all. Yet you say I should give you a chance knowing clearly our views on sex are vastly different. It was just disgusting and arrogant to hear such words, its like he is not even in touch with reality. He clearly thinks its in the cards for him to have his cake and eat it too...but sorry buddy no cakes over here. 

[TheJayspyder 1,000]

I think that statement goes for both males and females who are promiscuous, I'm sure you pay more attention to the females who are but I've witnessed the same behavior from males. Just today a had a male who is by no means a virgin nor conservative the type who lets sex and lust lead his life...he had the nerve to say "he had been looking for a virgin to settle down with" while trying to convince me to give him a chance. Wow, so you can tell me that if a woman doesn't have good (explicit word for female privates)  you wont be in a relationship with her at all. Yet you say I should give you a chance knowing clearly our views on sex are vastly different. It was just disgusting and arrogant to hear such words, its like he is not even in touch with reality. He clearly thinks its in the cards for him to have his cake and eat it too...but sorry buddy no cakes over here. 

 

Exactly. I'm only concerned with women cause, well...I don't swing any other way. ( ) Degenerates like this sap are the reason why women also seem to expect guys to always be hormonal apes incapable of rational thought at the sight of a naked or beautiful woman.

 

I do think promiscuity is more severe for women, though, because after a certain age, you guys can't bear children any more. Promiscuous women give their best years, the height of the attractiveness and fertility, to the guys who respect them the least. By the time they feel ready to "settle down", they have all but razed their ability to bond with one man. I can't really understate the revulsion I feel over them due to past experiences; like a shameless slut telling me how she lost her virginity at 13 and asking me what time period am I living in for wanting to wait. I casually laughed her taunts off, of course.

 

I do know one thing that's been proven multiple times now: the more sexual partners a woman has before marriage, the greater the chance her marriage will end in divorce. 

[LovingLana 150]

Exactly. I'm only concerned with women cause, well...I don't swing any other way. ( ) Degenerates like this sap are the reason why women also seem to expect guys to always be hormonal apes incapable of rational thought at the sight of a naked or beautiful woman.

 

I do think promiscuity is more severe for women, though, because after a certain age, you guys can't bear children any more. Promiscuous women give their best years, the height of the attractiveness and fertility, to the guys who respect them the least. By the time they feel ready to "settle down", they have all but razed their ability to bond with one man. I can't really understate the revulsion I feel over them due to past experiences; like a shameless slut telling me how she lost her virginity at 13 and asking me what time period am I living in for wanting to wait. I casually laughed her taunts off, of course.

 

I do know one thing that's been proven multiple times now: the more sexual partners a woman has before marriage, the greater the chance her marriage will end in divorce. 

Well all these issues are controversial its hard to say which gender and/or specific person it affects most. Overall most people who are promiscuous have their own set of issues and skewed perception of relations and relationships. I don't blame one gender over the other for this behavior because we all know it takes two, therefore the blame needs to be shared. Each case has to be looked at independently and "Promiscuous women give their best years, the height of the attractiveness and fertility, to the guys who respect them the least." that statement is debatable. The age, level of attractiveness, fertility, and respect issue varies person to person. To me promiscuity is not as much of a reflection of how much others respect you as it is about how much you respect yourself.   Also with the last statement I haven't seen much evidence to support that claim in comparison to women who got married with less previous partners. Divorce can happen for anyone for a number of reasons and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea that more partners equals higher chance of divorce for either sex. This topic is thin ice and no matter how you look at it there are cracks on both sides making both sides equally dangerous.  

[IAG 681]

To me promiscuity is not as much of a reflection of how much others respect you as it is about how much you respect yourself.   .  

 

I see what you're saying and I like your slant. But at the same time, I think men are master manipulators that will say anything to persuade a girl that he loves her when he doesn't. She, in response, will give him exactly what he wants: sex. When a man does this very conscious manipulation to get what he wants, he's disrespecting her in a huge way. She wouldn't have given the man sex if she would have known that he doesn't love her at all and that his only motive for saying "I love you" was to get her to give him sex. It's, perhaps, worse than animalistic because the guy's using his intelligence to act animal-like.

 

I have a feeling someone's going to want to respond by saying, "But wait, guys pursue bad girls too." This does happen (and it's a very different scenario). Tell me how often a girl lies to a guy about how she feels about him so that she can get him to have sex with her? The aforementioned is almost laughable. The truth is that a guy could care less how she feels about him and would be all too celebratory to be having the sex, regardless of whether she loves him or not. 

 

Another scenario: Tell me how often a guy decides to start having sex with his girlfriend because he's afraid he's going to lose her? Now tell me how often a girl caves in and starts having sex with her boyfriend because she's desperate to save the relationship?

[LovingLana 150]

I see what you're saying and I like your slant. But at the same time, I think men are master manipulators that will say anything to persuade a girl that he loves her when he doesn't. She, in response, will give him exactly what he wants: sex. When a man does this very conscious manipulation to get what he wants, he's disrespecting her in a huge way. She wouldn't have given the man sex if she would have known that he doesn't love her at all and that his only motive for saying "I love you" was to get her to give him sex. It's, perhaps, worse than animalistic because the guy's using his intelligence to act animal-like.

 

I have a feeling someone's going to want to respond by saying, "But wait, guys pursue bad girls too." This does happen (and it's a very different scenario). Tell me how often a girl lies to a guy about how she feels about him so that she can get him to have sex with her? The aforementioned is almost laughable. The truth is that a guy could care less how she feels about him and would be all too celebratory to be having the sex, regardless of whether she loves him or not. 

 

Another scenario: Tell me how often a guy decides to start having sex with his girlfriend because he's afraid he's going to lose her? Now tell me how often a girl caves in and starts having sex with her boyfriend because she's desperate to save the relationship?

I agree with you but when I think of promiscuous I think of those who have sex just to have sex because they want the pleasure it brings. I don't consider those who have been fooled thinking they were in a loving relationship only to be used for sex to be promiscuous, those people are just unlucky and my heart goes out to those people. Even those who attempted to have relationships that just didn't work and their numbers got raised is different from those who just used people for sex.