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The other day, I went to church and after service we had a picnic. I started talking to another church member and we got on the topic of marriage. She told me she was married at one time but divorced him. She realized he was not Mr. Right even though he was in church, he even went to the same church she did. However, she never had any kids which she regrets now because the marriage didn't last and now she's too old to have any even if Mr. right were to be revealed to her now and she doesn't date. She also was celibate until she married this guy so of course she had no other opportunity to have kids because she was trying to do what she thought was right. He actually disappeared one day and she filed for divorce but it's currently in limbo. After she told me all this, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Now that I thin about it, there are probably a lot of Christians and women in general who have this problem. This topic kind of hits close to home with me because I'm almost done with college but there seems to be no prospects of any guy being the one for me that I've met so far. Sometimes this scared me because i'm in my 20's so I have a while before my biological clock starts ticking but I think sometimes about what would happen if I meet the one or who I think is the one when i'm too old to have children. I really want to have kids, not this very second but sometime after I graduate college. I also know in this day and age, getting married and then having kids isn't that common but that's how I want it to be for me. My question is what would you do if you decided to become celibate for religious reasons until you get married but miss out on having kids due to age because you got married later in your life or because your relationship didn't work out before you had a chance to get pregnant?

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I know you probably don't want to hear this but there is always adoption maybe look at it from a different perspective...maybe the Lord wanted you or your friend to not bear a child but be available, loving and open enough to help the children that are already here and in need. I dont believe in putting pressure on human life, in the spiritual universe there is no such thing as time yet we emphasize it so much even on things we cannot control. Continue to pray and let the Lord guide you in the right direction. Sometimes his right direction is not yours there are things in life you cannot control they are in the hands of the Lord and you shouldnt worry, you should be ok with that.  

 

Personally Kids are not on the top of my list growing up as a kid I always knew that I wanted to adopt... Im still on the fence about it today but I know that is an option. There is no "biological clock" for me so its not something I personally worry about since fate isnt in my control.

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fearless, there is absolutely no reason for you to be worried about your biological clock if you're not even graduated from college yet. My mom had her last kid at 45, you've got plenty of time :P Also, don't feel pressured or miserable because you're not married yet. I come from a church where people get married very young, at age 19 or even 18, and that's normal there. But it's not healthy to rush into marriage. It's a life-long commitment and you owe it to yourself, your husband, and your future kids to figure out who you are as a person before you commit to marriage. We don't really settle into being the person we're going to be for the rest of our lives until we hit age 25! I would personally never want to be married before I've even realized who I am as a person on my own. 

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The other day, I went to church and after service we had a picnic. I started talking to another church member and we got on the topic of marriage. She told me she was married at one time but divorced him. She realized he was not Mr. Right even though he was in church, he even went to the same church she did. However, she never had any kids which she regrets now because the marriage didn't last and now she's too old to have any even if Mr. right were to be revealed to her now and she doesn't date. She also was celibate until she married this guy so of course she had no other opportunity to have kids because she was trying to do what she thought was right. He actually disappeared one day and she filed for divorce but it's currently in limbo. After she told me all this, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Now that I thin about it, there are probably a lot of Christians and women in general who have this problem. This topic kind of hits close to home with me because I'm almost done with college but there seems to be no prospects of any guy being the one for me that I've met so far. Sometimes this scared me because i'm in my 20's so I have a while before my biological clock starts ticking but I think sometimes about what would happen if I meet the one or who I think is the one when i'm too old to have children. I really want to have kids, not this very second but sometime after I graduate college. I also know in this day and age, getting married and then having kids isn't that common but that's how I want it to be for me. My question is what would you do if you decided to become celibate for religious reasons until you get married but miss out on having kids due to age because you got married later in your life or because your relationship didn't work out before you had a chance to get pregnant?

There's always adoption. I'd love to adopt even if I am able to have children biologically.

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This honestly is my biggest fear and is by far the thing that makes waiting difficult for me. I have had a strong desire to have a family for a number of years now and I know that if I wasn't waiting I would almost certainly be a mother by now. It almost makes me feel that I should set a time limit to how long I wait - I'm currently 29 and if I leave it much longer I might run into difficulties getting pregnant. The thought of never having children of my own is devastating.

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