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EWZ

To those with autism

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So I guess this is a safe place to tell people that I have autism because I know that some of you also have it. I’m not ashamed of it or anything, but when someone finds out that I have autism, they label me as “retarded†or “stupid.†It obviously gets really annoying and they don’t understand that I would rather get shot at then be in a social situation with a stranger or someone I don’t know very well, and that eye contact is almost physically painful.

 

Have any of you dealt with people like this? I often ignore them but it does get really annoying after a while, especially if they find out that I also have ADD. I’ll be honest; I think that most people are unintelligent, and I really don’t want to have anything to do with them (I am very quiet and rarely speak my mind in class or public because people would seriously hate me). But even though I would rather be hunted by a Predator, do need to “get out†and meet new people, besides people I meet online.

 So, if you do, how do you meet new people “in real life?†And if you do, do you have any tips? Any sort of help would be greatly appreciated.  

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I think it's sad that people make fun of people with autism. People with autism are some of the smartest people. I have heard of several people who made major contribution to the world, such as Temple Grandin. Though I don't have autism, I do have trouble  socially. It is hard for me to socialize. As hard as it is try not to get nervous or overthink what to say to people when talking to them. Just let it flow naturally, and it will flow naturally if just let it. I know it can be hard to read social situations, but try to tune into people's body language to know when to stop going on about a subject. Use your autism as your strength, not your weakness. But honestly if your okay with not socializing, then who cares. If your happy, that should be all that matters.

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I personally am quite ignorant with regards to autism. So if you'd be so kind as to explain what exactly autism is and how it affects life, I'll appreciate it.

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So I guess this is a safe place to tell people that I have autism because I know that some of you also have it. I’m not ashamed of it or anything, but when someone finds out that I have autism, they label me as “retarded†or “stupid.†It obviously gets really annoying and they don’t understand that I would rather get shot at then be in a social situation with a stranger or someone I don’t know very well, and that eye contact is almost physically painful.

 

Have any of you dealt with people like this? I often ignore them but it does get really annoying after a while, especially if they find out that I also have ADD. I’ll be honest; I think that most people are unintelligent, and I really don’t want to have anything to do with them (I am very quiet and rarely speak my mind in class or public because people would seriously hate me). But even though I would rather be hunted by a Predator, do need to “get out†and meet new people, besides people I meet online.

 So, if you do, how do you meet new people “in real life?†And if you do, do you have any tips? Any sort of help would be greatly appreciated.  

 

I have autism AND ADD as well. I'm sorry, but I have no real tips to meet people "in real life." I am quite bad at it. All the friends I made in my childhood were from Girl Guides, soccer, and theater camp, so I would say that joining clubs is a very good way to meet people. I only made one true good friend in school. Now I am in university, and it is a LOT tougher. However, I have made one good friend in university. Any time I sit down next to someone new in class, or vice versa, I talk to them. That is how I became friends with Em. I don't remember who sat next to who though, but it worked! I made some temporary friends in first year by doing the same thing. But I'm not sure if you're in university.

 

For me, making friends is hard, but keeping them is harder. 4 of my friends completely shut me out after first year, and I lost a lot of great childhood friends (two of them were because of my autism.) I just try to talk to the people in my class (not really possible in large classes) and hope that I click with one of them. So far I have only stayed friends with Em, but that alone is a huge accomplishment for me.

 

My advice: join a club/clubs, talk to the people sitting next to you in class, try to engage in conversations in class to find mutual interests

 

I hate socializing, but probably because I am so bad at it and I know people can sense that something is off about me. I hate having asperger's, and at the same time I can't imagine my life without it. Having autism is scary. I don't even know if I will be able to have sex, seeing as my body rejects physical contact with other humans (including my own mother and sometimes my dad.) I really like being alone, so I have never had any desire for a romantic relationship, even though I am 20. I may not even be able to be in a platonic relationship because I need lots of alone-time. I don't know what the future will hold for me in terms of romantic relationships. So I am very concerned about that.

 

No one has labelled me "retarded" or "stupid." But I am very high-functioning so no one has guessed so far that I have autism (I think.) but sometimes I make the mistake of telling people I have it, and they become uncomfortable and end up shutting me out of their lives. Now I am very hesitant to tell people about it, even though I am not at all ashamed of it.

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I have autism AND ADD as well. I'm sorry, but I have no real tips to meet people "in real life." I am quite bad at it. All the friends I made in my childhood were from Girl Guides, soccer, and theater camp, so I would say that joining clubs is a very good way to meet people. I only made one true good friend in school. Now I am in university, and it is a LOT tougher. However, I have made one good friend in university. Any time I sit down next to someone new in class, or vice versa, I talk to them. That is how I became friends with Em. I don't remember who sat next to who though, but it worked! I made some temporary friends in first year by doing the same thing. But I'm not sure if you're in university.

 

For me, making friends is hard, but keeping them is harder. 4 of my friends completely shut me out after first year, and I lost a lot of great childhood friends (two of them were because of my autism.) I just try to talk to the people in my class (not really possible in large classes) and hope that I click with one of them. So far I have only stayed friends with Em, but that alone is a huge accomplishment for me.

 

My advice: join a club/clubs, talk to the people sitting next to you in class, try to engage in conversations in class to find mutual interests

 

I hate socializing, but probably because I am so bad at it and I know people can sense that something is off about me. I hate having asperger's, and at the same time I can't imagine my life without it. Having autism is scary. I don't even know if I will be able to have sex, seeing as my body rejects physical contact with other humans (including my own mother and sometimes my dad.) I really like being alone, so I have never had any desire for a romantic relationship, even though I am 20. I may not even be able to be in a platonic relationship because I need lots of alone-time. I don't know what the future will hold for me in terms of romantic relationships. So I am very concerned about that.

 

No one has labelled me "retarded" or "stupid." But I am very high-functioning so no one has guessed so far that I have autism (I think.) but sometimes I make the mistake of telling people I have it, and they become uncomfortable and end up shutting me out of their lives. Now I am very hesitant to tell people about it, even though I am not at all ashamed of it.

Yeah, I really only have one friend outside of my family, and he’s been my friend since 4th grade. I think that people call me “retarded†and stuff is because they often confuse autism with Down syndrome, I don’t know why they do, but they do. I have also Asperger syndrome, (they love to laugh at that) and I am also very high-functioning.  I don’t have a problem with speaking, but conversations are really awkward, almost painful, and short. Almost all of my answers are very short and to the point. Most people just think I’m angry all the time because I don’t talk to anyone, and I don’t tell anyone, but sometimes people tell something is weird about me.

 

Them: “How are you?â€

Me: “Good.â€

Them: “How is that game you’re playing?â€

Me: “Fun.â€

Them: “That’s all you have to say about it?â€

Me: “I guess so.â€

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I have dealt with ableism all my life, but it is more that people expect me to be a savant when, at best, I'm just above average, not like, a super-genius or anything.

 

Also, the fact that many people think that people with autism can't love or have fulfilling relationships or are asexual/aromantic. When I say that my boyfriend and I both have autism, that is like, unheard of to most people, like, that is really rare. I'm also constantly warned against having children by ignorant people. Autism is not a always death sentence, it is very liveable if you are able to actually take the time to parent your kids and give them the proper treatment and education that they deserve. Plus, if we do have kids with autism, at least we'll be able to understand them maybe a bit better. 

 

Still, two people with autism in love is very rare, I can hardly find anything on the internet about it specifically except maybe a few news stories.

 

Hey, we better get in the news if/when we marry! 

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I do not have autism myself, but one of my best friends has Asperger's syndrome, so I have been able to learn a bit about autism through him. EWZ, I am sorry to hear about all of the people who cruelly label you. I know for a fact that autism does not go hand-in-hand with intelligence; my friend is brilliant. I cannot speak to how he copes with it; he has a really hard time being out socially as well, and spends most of his time at home. He finds it easiest to talk to people online.

 

Best of luck to all of you here who face the challenges of a world that still has a lot to learn about autism.

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In a way I totally understand. I have a language barrier, I rely on sign language and have a hearing impairment. "Deaf and dumb. " Because of this I'd rather avoid a lot of social situations since people can indeed be very rude and ignorant about it. I do have some hearing however but I try to explain that my hearing aid distorts language so I dont understand it very well at first. Many people dont bother, and I almost dont blame them -- but its their loss, we're totally awesome! I reinforce what the others have said -- join a club of interest, kind of like you did here. Take it one step at a time, and challenge your self with small goals everyday. I've just started working on learning how to use the appropriate volume in speech -- I'm unable to gauge my voice level so ironically most people dont hear me and i get embarrassed easily because of this. I

m also exactly the same way you are in conversation -- short replies. But then later I'm like oh Icouldnt have said this, etc etc, but get so nervous I go blank! Try starting just by introducing yourself and take it easy on yourself. If you dont, you wont want to try again! Slowly but surely, like I am seeing now, you will see results :)ou are awesome and anybody who knows anything and is worthy of your friendship will take the time to get to know you and will see you beyond just some kind of label. 

 

P.S. EDIT -- I have a cousin who is a few years younger than I am with autism. He is honestly the person I am closest to in my entire family - He has difficulty sometime but is so sweet and fun to be around!

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I think it's sad that people make fun of people with autism. People with autism are some of the smartest people. I have heard of several people who made major contribution to the world, such as Temple Grandin. Though I don't have autism, I do have trouble  socially. It is hard for me to socialize. As hard as it is try not to get nervous or overthink what to say to people when talking to them. Just let it flow naturally, and it will flow naturally if just let it. I know it can be hard to read social situations, but try to tune into people's body language to know when to stop going on about a subject. Use your autism as your strength, not your weakness. But honestly if your okay with not socializing, then who cares. If your happy, that should be all that matters.

 

I was basically going to say the same thing about looking about the body language of others. Also try to be aware of your own body language since you may be projecting something you aren't intentionally trying to. I am actually in a profession where I work with people with Autism and we concentrate on body language a lot.

 

One of my best friends from college has Asperger's and she still has difficulties in everyday life with people not understanding and making fun of her sometimes, but she has an amazingly positive attitude too. Maybe you have a talent or are good at something/enjoy it and can share it or teach it to others. It can be a great way to break the ice. Also, remember that those who make fun of you without getting to know you first probably wouldn't be the best friends to have anyway. Good luck!

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I have a few friends who have autism and they are some of the smartest, most interesting people I have ever met. I honestly would have never guessed that they had autism if they never told me, we were friends first (we met at school) and then gradually over time they started telling me. One of them said to me one day, that he had something to tell me and he was very nervous and was not sure how I would react. He ended up telling me he had autism. My reply, was is that it. I was surprised and heartbroken by the fact that he thought  that because he had autism it was going to ruin our friendship. I mean how much was he bullied or how much pain could he have gone through to think that it was a reason to not be accepted. I just gave him a hug and said he was amazing in many ways. One of my other friends was in the same class with me and some people just looked at her differently treated her differently even made fun of her. Of course the teacher kicked them out for the day, but it was still heartbreaking and it really made me angry to see that happening. I would always go up to her after something like that happened and would say that she should ignore those people and that she should know how great she is and all that, I would have cheered up any other friend like that regardless of whether they had autism or not (of course I would usually hug but I respect when some people do not like hugging), you know why, because it makes not difference to me, they are still the amazing person I first met and became friends with and honestly I am being completely serious when I say I would have never known they had autism if they never told me. So to everyone who has been labelled, for any reason, you are so lovely in so many ways, ignore those low-lives. You are all amazing in many ways  :)

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