Guest markb4

Husbands Forgetting Events

23 posts in this topic

Hey girls,

So if your husband forgot your birthday/anniversary/some important event, would you be upset? If so, would you be angry/sad/disappointed/what feeling exactly? Or would you not care? Or would you find it amusing?

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I'm not going to lie, I would DEFINITELY be upset. And yeah, it would probably be a combination of anger, sadness, and disappointment. I think it would boil down to feeling like I cared about him more than he cared about me; I would be hurt. If it only happened once, during a stressful time in his life, I could let that go more easily than if it was a habitual thing. But yeah, with so many technological tools that can help with something like this - calendars on cell phones, birthday reminder emails, etc. - I really don't see what excuse there could be for completely ignoring a birthday or anniversary. Besides, I will probably start mentioning it in the "Hey, what do you think we should do for it?" way several days in advance, so if he has forgotten, he'll be reminded that way with time to spare.

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Honestly Id be sad/disappointed It would make me feel like Im not important enough. I saw this show where this lady had a husband who forgot her bday for 40 years and she was fine with it but I would be pissed... I wouldnt even want a present really, just remembering the day would be enough.

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I think this is one of those things that has been vastly exaggerated by Hollywood and the media. In our increasingly PC society, men are often portrayed as dimwitted, incompetent and absent-minded whereas women are portrayed as intelligent, witty and super confident. Just turn on an average sitcom and that is what you'll find. Of course women are also usually portrayed as overtly sexual but that's a different topic all together. Anyways, because of this, I think people think it's a bigger problem than it actually is.

 

The point is that yeah, some men may forget an anniversary or two but it's not attributed to men being inherently more forgetful than women. Unless of course someone can show me research that says otherwise. I think it has more to do with the fact that men are culturally conditioned to be more big picture in he is more focused on the general well being of the relationship. Women on the other hand are more concerned with the details and significance of specific dates.

 

and while there are some men who forget, let's remember that it's usually our job to plan stuff for Valentines Day, anniversaries and such. Those guys who are worth it do want to put in the effort to show special you all are.

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I would be a bit upset, but I wouldn't be devastated if he forgot my birthday (especially since I have never celebrated it so far). I would be kind of mad if he forgot our anniversay though. I can be kind of bad about remembering stuff, although I don't think I would be prone to forgetting about his birthday or our anniversary. I feel like its a pretty rare thing to forget an anniversary, neither of my parents have ever forgotten theirs in over 20 years. If he flubbed something like valentines day, I could just laugh it off. There are some dates that are more important than others.

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I'd be upset too. I agree with the girls here and I would understand if he was dealing with stressful stuff, but the other times, I would just be upset. It's not even about a celebration or anything, just him saying "Happy anniversary" or "Happy birthday" with a smile on his face would be more than enough, but yea, I hope that made sense. Because remembering would mean that he cared enough to, that he loved me enough to remember, that's all I would want, for him to remember.

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Well, my boyfriend has a pretty good memory. Then again, it helps that my birthday is December 26th so he can easily get me a Christmas AND a birthday gift, just on a Christmas/Birthday gift, that is a dealbreaker right there. 

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Well, if it was a genuine mistake, then I think I'd just have to forgive him and move on. These things happen. Heck, I've got a memory like a sieve, too, especially for dates, so I'm expecting my husband to be pretty forgiving when I forget stuff...

 

xxx

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I would be upset-I would hope that he could put important dates like anniversaries, birthdays, etc in his phone if he's not good at remembering  ;) I don't think that's too much to ask....I don't ask for anything fancy or extravagant,..sometimes the most thoughtful gifts are what mean the most, even if they don't cost much. 

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It wouldn't bother me if he was forgetful on such dates.  I WOULD create a calendar for him and THEN i would be bothered if he still neglected to remember.  If the guy is genuine and nice about it and wanted to remedy the situation, I am easy to forgive.

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Darn, I thought I was being original!

Aww...

Yeah I don't know how I remembered that thread!

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I would be upset if he didn't say something to me acknowledging it was an important day, but I'm also forgiving. Life is busy and it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. A mutual friend always teases my fiance that he can't forget my birthday since it's actually the same day as my fiance's dad's. Yeah still freaks me out after all these years haha. If he forgot our anniversary I'd probably be more upset, but I don't think he'd do that.

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I don't really think that either sex is more, or less, forgetful. In our world of technological advances, the ability to set an alarm for your phone, computer, tablet, etc etc etc, to remind you of something, does make it a little harder to forget. Unless, of course, you are like me and forget to set the reminder! lol I guess if he forgets something, I might be slightly disappointed, but I would not be angry. As he probably would with me. However, I am pretty sure you are more apt to remember the truly important events... you're important to each other, after all, and important things tend to stick with us. For instance, my birthday... it's Christmas Eve. People tend to forget it. I do not know how you forget a birthday like that, but it does happen... the date tends to get lost in the shuffle, because we are celebrating something much more important than my lowly birth. :) So, I get it. I use to get disappointed in people. I don't now. I'm use to it.

ALSO, if someone knows their other half is a bit forgetful, then I think it's ok to help them remember. Instead of just letting it go and getting upset about it. Which goes both ways.

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I'm not patient enough to wait see if my SO remembers anniversaries or birthdays or whatnot.

 

Usually I would say "hey it's ___ and we planned ___ are we still up for it?" or "today's ___ . Can I have ___?"

 

I would, however, get irritated if we made an appointment and he runs late and he falls off the grid.

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Hey girls,

So if your husband forgot your birthday/anniversary/some important event, would you be upset? If so, would you be angry/sad/disappointed/what feeling exactly? Or would you not care? Or would you find it amusing?

Would definitely not be funny, I'd be hurt.

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Beau takes awhile to learn important dates, but he finally knows my birthday. We engraved our wedding date in our wedding bands, so we can both remember that easily.

 

We share our Google calendars with each other to keep on top of any important events.

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REMINDER: This Saturday is Valentine's Day! I repeat, this Saturday is Valentine's day! ;) 

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Simple solution! He gets all the important dates tattooed on his arm! Now he will never forget ;)

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honestly things like that never really bothered me much. id probably just remind him lol. I think its just because i know he wouldnt forget because he doesnt care, but because dates and things can be hard to remember. Now I just hope I can find a guy who wont get upset when i forget things XD

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